Faking It

- Previously on "Faking It"... - My mom's having an affair.

- Farrah, open up! - Dad?

- What's the answer? - I haven't had any answers

since you slept with my best friend.

There it is! Your trump card.

I have to go.

- I'm not impressive enough? - You're in high school.

God, if I'd known it was going to be like this,

I never would have outed you.

Hello, Karma. Please, get in.

I know what I want.

Welcome to detention.

For the next seven hours, you belong to me.

You will sit in your seats quietly

without your cell phones.

No texting, no Candy Crushing,

no SnapChatting your genitalia.

Instead, you will silently ruminate over the shortcomings

that have landed you here. Dig deep.

Figure out how not to repeat the same mistake twice.

Or you could get your GED and become an Uber driver.

Aren't you guys all friends?

Did you have a hot tub party that got a little bit too real?

I know Shane's here because of his naked protest,

but what did the rest of you do?

Clearly, there was a clerical error.

I'm sure I'll be exonerated shortly.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's innocent.

What about you, Amy?

You obviously have never watched

"Orange is the New Black."

You don't ask someone why they're doing time.

And if you must know, I cut class

because I was watching a French New Wave film

at the Austin Film Society.

I thought you said it was German?

Yeah, right. It was German.

Danke shoe-in.

What about you, Karma?

Yeah, did you and Liam finally get caught

having sex at school?

No!

I fell asleep during geometry.

What about you, Liam?

I took a conference call during philosophy.

What? It was with our Dubai office.

It's really hard to coordinate with the time difference.

Oh, did you follow it up with a round of golf

and a spot of day-trading?

What about you, Felix?

Let's just say that Turner has it out for me.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Turner doesn't turn the AC on on Saturdays.

Lauren, aren't you hot?

- I naturally run cold. - Like most reptiles...

Finish that sentence and I will stab you with this pencil.

So what's the deal with you and Liam?

You two still not talking?

Not since L.A.

Any new developments in Farrah Gate?

Uh, sort of.

My mom promised that that fling was totally over.

Good. The last thing you need

is Farrah leaving Bruce for some new rando.

Yeah, that would suck.

Has Lauren agreed not to tell Bruce?

Not yet.

He comes back from a business trip tonight,

and I don't know what she's gonna do.

You could ask her. She's right behind you.

Hey, step-sis?

Can we not talk about it? I'm not in the mood.

If you're still on the fence about telling your dad,

I highly recommend not telling.

I don't get why you're covering for Farrah.

If I tell Daddy, they'll break up,

and then she and your dad can get back together.

Shh.

And I don't want them to get back together.

All they do is fight. They're like oil and vinegar.

- Oil and vinegar are delicious. - You know what I mean.

If you must know, I've decided I am telling Daddy.

He's the innocent victim here.

But you'll be splitting our family up.

No, your mother took care of that.

Hey, buddy.

How you doing?

Fine.

You can't keep eating yourself up.

Look, I know you're depressed about Duke...

I'm eating because I'm liberated.

No more Duke hovering over my shoulder

shouting, "Lean and green!"

So you're telling me you're happy you two broke up?

Sure, I'm sad he's gone, but if he can't see

that I did him a favor by outing him,

that's his problem.

Boo!

What the hell are you doing here?

Yeah, did you get lost on the way to the donut shop?

Oh, and did you bring any with you?

I'm here to escort Lauren to Principal Turner's office.

I knew it. I'm exonerated.

See you deviants on Monday.

Out of my way, narc.

Okay, I'm dying to know.

Why would your dad put you in detention?

Because he doesn't trust me to be alone all day.

Why? All you do is play Xbox.

He has his reasons.

Aw, come on! Just one!

I'm starving and you've got a 7-Eleven over there.

No, I need them all!

Fine.

Karma always has mints.

What you doing?

Uh, just looking for a light refreshment.

Ooh, give me one.

You know what? I really need to pee.

Come with me.

Amy, I though we got past your fear of peeing alone.

It's not about that. We need to talk now.

Lauren?

You're not supposed to be here.

None of you are. What is going on?

They were sneaking out, sir, but don't worry, I caught 'em.

Any further infractions will be met with detention

until the end of the school year.

Are we clear?

Yes, sir.

How could you take him back after what he did to you?

- What? - Take who back?

We caught Lauren and Theo making out in the hallway.

After Amy and I helped you out him?

You outed Theo too?

Why am I not surprised?

Lauren, he arrested my parents and me and Amy.

Because he was protecting our secret.

Oh, Lauren, when are you gonna learn?

Secrets always come out.

Yeah, because you out them!

Raise your hand if you've been outed

by Shane Harvey.

Thank you for your support.

Oh, no, this isn't support.

You've got a real problem outing people.

If you hadn't outed Duke, you wouldn't be

in this situation right now, so just admit it.

I'll admit it if you admit you're a corporate sellout

and the whole artist thing was a joke.

Lauren, you can't take him back

He's only gonna hurt you again.

I don't give a what you think,

but you better keep it a secret,

because if this comes out, Theo loses his job.

Fine, I'll keep your secret

if you promise you won't tell Bruce

that thing I don't want you to tell him.

What thing?

The fact that your mom is ing your dad?

That's who you caught your mom with in the motel room?

Why did you keep that from me?

We agreed, no more secrets between us.

I know, but I knew that you would be

all mad and judgy because you hate my dad.

I hate how he blows in here once in a blue moon

if and when he pleases.

He's a war journalist, Karma.

He doesn't exactly decide when wars start or end.

Wait, you didn't cut school to see a film.

You cut school to see him.

Busted.

I'm guilty for spending time with my father.

No, you're guilty of yet another lie.

Maybe we should all take a deep breath.

See this is exactly what happens when people

aren't their true authentic selves.

Oh, enough with the self-righteous bull .

You act like you did Duke some huge favor

by outing him, but you're guilt-eating

everything in this room that isn't made of plastic.

You can't just do the wrong thing

and then pretend it's for the right reason.

Excellent point, Booker.

Keeping Farrah's secret is wrong.

And claiming it's to keep our family together

doesn't make it right.

She swore it didn't mean anything,

so can we just forget about it and move on?

Wow, why does that sound familiar?

Oh, yeah. That's what you said

when you slept with Liam.

Like mother, like daughter.

Let's just sweep it under the rug.

I'm surprised there's any room left under there.

You're one to talk about secrets.

Okay, what's this?

Oh, it's a check from Max Booker for $250,000.

What's that about, Karma?

- What the hell is going on? - That's a big check.