Six Feet Under

Tad? Is that you?

You're early.

Time to kiss your sweet ass goodbye, cupcake.

Seriously, several people told me that my scene...

is really the only one that's even remotely scary.

Becky, you make a major impact in this movie.

Somebody even said that Angelica's scene, it wasn't even scary at all.

Like, it was funny, and not in a good way.

We have to make sure you don't get pigeon-holed now...

which is why I think you shouldn't show your tits anymore.

What a piece of shit!

I know, it makes fucking Blair Witch 2 look like Titanic.

It's just so fucking gratuitous!

I think that what makes this movie different...

is that the violence isn't so gratuitous.

It's more like the whole movie is about...

the whole psychological nature of fear.

I totally maxed out his Visa card paying for it.

Then somebody in Joe Roth's office saw it and said it was genius.

And now we have three meetings.

Seriously, you could write it. I've read your poetry and it's really good.

I think I should direct it, too.

Yeah, and we should have this really hot sex scene, all gritty and real.

You know, like, European.

I'm not showing my ass. My manager says I need to stop showing my ass.

You have a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

Shut up! Where?

Honey, it's not working. What?

No, no. It's not gonna happen for me.

It's not. It's not gonna happen for me.

I'm sorry.

What's wrong? Nothing. Don't take it personally.

Don't make this about me.

What? Am I not allowed to not have sex for once?

Is that what our relationship is now?

Wait a minute. You woke me up by going down on me.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe that car accident we had...

gave me some weird, Oliver-Sacks-blow-to-the-head disease.

Sorry. My whole life seems like a bad dream.

It's like somebody else's life.

I can't face it.

You know...

sometimes you just got to force yourself to be active.

When you're, you know.... Like what?

When you're what?

You think I'm depressed?

Are you? Yeah.

Doesn't mean I wanna talk about it.

Okay.

This is my sister-in-law, Angie.

Angelica. It's nice to meet you.

Likewise. And this is Brody Farrell.

Are you the next of kin? No.

Becky's parents died when she was two.

She was raised by her grandmother, who also died.

She didn't really have anybody, except us.

I see. Can I ask who will be... The cast of the movie.

We're all pitching in to pay for it.

We're going to need one person to be designated as the...

Brody will do that. Yeah.

She was sort of my girlfriend.

Do you know what kind of service you'd like?

Cheap.

We provide a variety of services for the more budget-conscious client.

Sorry. Just let me turn this off. Take it.

I can handle it.

Please excuse me.

David Fisher. Hi, David. It's Kevin Miller.

You answered my personal ad in the LA Weekly. I'm the fireman.

Yes, hi. Of course.

We can start with the most simple of traditional funerals...

which would include our American Eagle casket here.

I don't think we should bury her.

Becky was totally terrified of the dark.

We can still have a viewing...

during which the casket will never be closed, followed by a cremation.

That's good. And then we could scatter her ashes some place she really liked.

Like Griffith Park, or the Lava Lounge on La Brea.

I mean, I think we can skip the casket.

You sound like a really nice guy, too.

I am a really nice guy. So, do you want to meet for coffee later this afternoon?

This afternoon? Sure. I have something at 3:00, but I can meet you after that.

Great, let's say at 4:00, at the Up All Night Coffee House.

I'll be wearing a red baseball cap.

Great, I love red. It's one of my favorite colors...

of which I have several. Okay, see you then.

This is a beautiful and unusual cremains vessel.

The ashes actually fill these dolphins, which are carved out inside.

She wasn't really into dolphins.

I remember somebody suggesting she boycott tuna...

because of the whole dolphins-getting-caught-in-the-net thing.

And she said:

"Fuck dolphins. I want a Nicoise salad. "

What are these? Those are keepsake miniature urns.

Sort of like lockets, if you will.

So everybody can get a piece of her.

Yes, it's an old custom from Thailand.

Becky loved Thai food. So what did I miss?

I'm sorry I'm late.

Why weren't you at school today?

I was in school today. I just wasn't in American History.

I mean, who needs to know that shit anyways, right?

Somebody who wants to have a concept of how the world works...

so they can have a fucking chance in life.

What crawled up your ass?

It's all lies anyways.

Where were you?

Andy and I skipped out after lunch. We went to the car museum.

Did you get high?

I'm 18 years old, living in fucking California. I'm not allowed to get high?

I'm worried about you, Gabe.

In case you don't remember, I have good reason to be.

I'm sorry, okay?

But you don't have to worry about me, I swear.

Just please don't lie to me.

I'm not.

I'm okay...

and I'm gonna stay okay...

as long as I have you.

Let's take a look at your test results.

Well, I have some very good news. You tested negative for the HIV antibody.

Thank God.

You need to be tested again in six months, just to be safe.

Let's see, negative for chlamydia, all hepatitises, syphilis.

Positive for gonorrhea.

What? Yeah.

Have you had any pain or difficulty urinating?

No. Any penile or anal discharge?

No.

Gonorrhea can be completely asymptomatic...

but if it's left untreated, it can lead to severe problems down the line.

I'm gonna give you some Cipro. It usually knocks it right out.

Well, this is certainly embarrassing.

Did you engage in unprotected sex?

Yes.

Bad boy.

How was school? Dull and depressing.

What are you reading?

Now That You Know.

Now that you know what?

That David is gay.

I take it you knew already.

How do you feel about it?

Are you hurt? Angry?

Do you wish he wasn't gay? No.

Those are all valid feelings, you know.

I don't care if he's gay, just as long as he's happy.

According to this book...

we should all be very open to how we feel...

and we should try to express those feelings...

because the foundation of intimacy is truth.

Okay.

Have you ever had any feelings of same-sex attraction?

What? No, Mom.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. I know.

When I was your age...

I actually had a little crush on Jane Fonda.

She's single again, so now's your chance.

I just never got into that whole promiscuous thing, you know.

First guy I had sex with...

I ended up in a relationship with for four years.

One-man kind of guy. Always have been. What about you?

Definitely.

Sex just for the sake of having sex, what is that?

Don't get me wrong. I love sex. I'm a very sexual being.

I just think it's better when there's something emotional going on behind it.

I credit my parents for that.

My mom and dad have been together for almost 40 years.

They're still hot for each other.

And they've never been anything but 100%% supportive of me.

Wow.

I gotta get to work. Listen, it's been great meeting you.

This was fun. Would you like to do it again?

I don't think so.

You seem like a really nice guy, but I gotta be honest.

I didn't feel much of a spark.

Can't make it happen if it's not there, right?

It definitely looks like AVM.

Fuck.

So now what?

Well, that depends. Remind me what your symptoms have been.

Headaches. All the time?

No, just occasionally. Mostly on the left side of my head.

Any seizures? Impairment of vision? Sense of smell?

Once I had a flutter, just on the edge of my vision.

I'm as blind as a bat.

Once I woke up, I could see perfectly out of my left eye.

Lasted for a day and then it went away. Who knows what the hell that was?

So what next?

Well, let's see.

It's in a not overly-eloquent brain area.

You left-handed? No.

That's not good. Why not?

And it's a little larger than I'd like it to be.

Yeah, it's a little larger than I'd like it to be.

Okay.

You want options, I'll give you the big three:

Cranial surgery. Not a picnic.

Embolization.