Broad City

This bookshop rules. I get it...

- Paper, not screens. - Yeah.

Oof, I can't stop thinking about this prix-fixe pasta tasting

- at Dobby tonight. - Wait a second.

You're going to Dobby tonight?

- Girl, yah. - Dude, you didn't tell me that.

I saw that chef on "Chef's Table." She's incredible.

I love a restaurant run by women

'cause they don't rape or molest their employees,

- and the food just tastes better. - Yeah.

Also, I told them already that you don't eat beef.

Why?

So there's no beef on your plate?

Ilana, I'm not coming

to your one-year anniversary dinner tonight.

Don't be a bitch. Who's gonna mediate?

Right, it's the anniversary/renegotiation

relationship-check-in.

Dude, this is big. Do you have all your deal points prepared?

You Sade-Baderinwa believe I do!

Dope.

There they are.

That's good placement.

Wow.

Gor-gous!

You took the lemons of being fired from Anthropologie

and turned them into gorgeous, artistic,

bad-bitch-gettin'-shit-done lemonade.

Yeah, I mean, thank God those cards are in here.

I'm exhausted from working on my art all day

and catering every night. I needed this.

Abbi Abrams.

Donna? My God. I haven't seen you since college, dude.

- Hi! - Hi!

- Wait. Is this... - So good to see you!

- You, too. - Smelly Pussy Donna?

Ilana.

I am s... I am so sorry.

I'm truly sorry. That is so rude.

I am... I am so sorry.

Clearly that got relayed from me.

This is my best friend, Ilana.

And she didn't mean to say that out loud.

It's okay. I officially own that nickname,

because I beat my smelly pussy.

It only took probiotics and six years of therapy,

but I'm officially free of malodorous pudenda.

- That's amazing. - Smelly pussy.

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

I've actually used my horrible story to inspire other women.

I just gave a TAD Talk.

You gave a TED Talk about it?

No, TADTalk.

Cool.

What are you up to? Are you still doing your art?

I really loved her art. She was so talented.

Thanks so much. I... Yeah, I mean, I'm trying.

She's not trying. She is succeeding.

She's selling her cards in the store right now!

Okay, these are literally so cute.

I just had the best idea.

I'm a coordinator at MoMA.

Cool? That's amazing.

And we're having an incredible party tonight.

Would you guys please come as my close personal guests?

I have this dinner I have to go to.

That sucks we can't go.

Well, I mean...

Icould still go, like, alone.

Whoa.

I guess you could.

Okay, so you're gonna go. Great. Yeah, I've put you on the list,

and they are excited to meet you.

My gosh.

My Pediphile is here.

What, now?

Pediphile is an app

for people who are obsessed with pedicabs.

I became obsessed with them in college

when I needed to air out my vagina, because...

the smelly pussy thing.

Also, it's so convenient to get around.

You guys should think about getting the app.

I am a co-founder. Full-disclosure.

- All right, I'll see you tonight, Donna. - Don't forget to dress sexy!

I got to see this bitch get into a pedicab.

- Wow. - Wow.

See you tonight!

Smelly Pussy Donna.

I wouldn't notair my pussy out in a pedicab.

Yeah. Me, neither.

Dude, tonight is so cool.

A party at MoMA? Come on!

Yeah, I mean, I have to cancel my catering shift,

but MoMA's, like, so worth it.

So worth it.

I'm a little nervous about going alone.

No, you'll have Smelly Pussy Donna...

- Donna. You'll have Donna. - I mean, I could also ask,

like, another one of my friends.

Yeah!

Like...

I could ask the...

No, I...

You know what? It's cool to go alone.

It iscool, 'cause then I don't have to explain

all the art-world ins and outs to someone. Like, it's a lot.

You know what? I'm gonna call Kevin.

Perfect. I'm gonna pet this dog.

- Okay. Great. - Hi!

Hello! Hi!

Hey! Kevin.

- Who is this? - It's Abbi?

So, listen, this kind of, like, really-big-deal thing

came up tonight, art-wise, and I was wondering

if maybe someone could cover my shift?

Fuck!

Tonight is already gonna be really intense,

and it's too late to find someone to cover you.

But I guess we'll just have to make do without you.

Yes! Okay. Thank you so much, Kevin.

- I owe you one. - You go for it, girl.

Okay.

Hot and heavy over here, Does Lincoln know?

Well, I did have a polyamory clause in my deal tonight,

but now I have to add a bestiality clause.

- I thought it was funny. - Thank you.

Happy anniversary/ renegotiation/check-in.

Yaas!

All right. All right.

Look at that wrapping.

That's for you. That's part of it.

- What is this? - It is your very own

handmade Experience Coupon Book.

Okay.

- "Handjob." - Whoop!

"Dry"?

I prefer wet.

Picnic in the park.

Blowjob, wet.

Zoo day.

Anal!

This is awesome. This is a quantified,

organized list of the stuff we already do.

- I love it. Thank you. - Yay!

All right. My turn.

Okay. Okay.

I mean

I farted, and it went, like, up my dress and up my nose,

and then it dissipated...

Okay. "Jewess"? Yes!

I saw them, and I thought of you.

Why?

Just kidding.

Art.

Asymmetrical hairstyles.

Unabashed confidence.

Helicopter!

Abbi!

Kevin!

Thank God you came after all.

I was actually going to fire you for bailing tonight,

but here you are, in your bizarrely gorgeous

catering ware.

Here I am!

We've got asparagus spears that still need to be trayed up,

and then you can grab a tray of riblets and start passing them.

Did you bring your beret?

I-I forgot the beret.

It's okay. Just meet me in the garden.

I brought an extra one!

This is our first pasta tasting, the bucatini tartufo.

Mushrooms were milled in Hudson,

and they were foraged just this morning.

Nice.

- Gorgeous. - One down.

11 to go. Let's enjoy this food

before we get down to business.

I agree. See, we are already wonderful at negotiating.

Yeah.

My God.

- God damn. - I'm, like, literally, like,

getting, like, buttery wet like the...

- Yeah. - Like the noodles.

I would raw-dog this pasta

even if I knew it had a disease.

I'm a gassy bitch.

I eat shtinky food! Whoo!

Garlic rosemary lamb riblets with a mint compote?

Ab!

- Abbi! Hi! - Dude, what's up?

I'm so sorry.

Hey!

Mwah! Mwah!

Thanks so much for coming.

It means so much to me.

No, thank you for inviting me.

- Of course. - This is awesome.

God.

What?