The Ranch

- Hey, morning. - Hey.

Hey... is that my jacket?

I left that at Heather's.

All right, Officer Sherlock.

Yeah, I slept at Mary's the other night.

Heather told me to give you this.

She also told me to give you this.

What the hell you do that for?

Well, now it's awkward 'cause I kissed you,

not 'cause I'm banging

your girlfriend's mom.

You know what, I ain't gonna be super-interested

in joking about this for a while.

Look, Colt... Sorry if it's awkward for you,

but I'm really into Mary.

That being said, you are my brother,

and if you want me to stop datin' her...

just say it.

I want you to stop datin' her.

All right, bluff called.

Seriously though, man,

if you want me to give up my chance

at a happy relationship and die alone

just 'cause it makes you a little uncomfortable...

you just say so.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Shit, bluff called again.

All right, look...

if you're serious about Mary,

and you promise not to screw things up

with me and Heather...

it's your life, I'm not gonna be an asshole about it.

Cool.

And for the record,

I give you my blessing to date her daughter.

Oh, hey, uh...

I heard old Kenny proposed to Abby.

Yeah. Why, you wanna date her, too?

Been there, done that.

So... them getting engaged, that mess you up?

No... I'm fine with it.

You should've seen the ring though, too big.

Yeah...

Women hate when things are too big.

Yeah, and he proposed to her at the Cracker Barrel.

I mean, who does that?

Uh, lots of people.

Rich Weiner proposed to Allie there,

Jeff proposed to Leslie.

I proposed a threesome to the Flet sisters.

They proposed I go fuck myself.

Later that night, I took 'em up on that proposal.

Let me ask you a question...

I texted Mary a couple of times last night,

she never hit me back.

Check this out. Uh, 1:12...

"'Sup, girl? You up?"

Nothing. 1:27...

"You down to clown? I'm around."

Nothing.

1:45, I pull out the big guns, right?

I sent her this video of a cat

who's scared of a cucumber.

I mean, how is that not worth at least one "LOL"?

Apparently, we got different ideas

about what the "big gun" is.

- Mornin', Dad. - Mornin'.

Hey, what time is that buyer comin'?

He's not. I called him off.

- We're not sellin'. - What?

Cattle prices are at rock bottom...

Anderson sold last week. They didn't even turn a profit.

We're not gonna sell right now.

We're gonna hold out.

Are you serious? I... When were you plannin' on tellin' us?

To be honest...

If I'm not looking right at you, I try to forget you're here.

Dad, we don't have any electricity!

We gotta sell. You ever see The Shining?

Jack Nicholson killed his entire family

with an ax. You know why?

They didn't have a TV!

Look, we can't afford to keep the calves.

We can't even afford to keep the lights on.

What are we gonna do for the winter, huh? I mean...

me and you, we can eat Colt. What are the cows gonna eat?

I didn't work my ass off all year,

so I could go in the hole.

We can hold on a little while, things will turn.

And what if they don't?

Maybe you two can get a second job.

Ugh.

There aren't enough hours in the day

to take on more work.

We should take what we can get now

and keep our heads above water.

All right, look, I don't normally say this,

but Rooster's right.

You know, I don't normally say this,

but I don't give a shit what you think.

You say that all the time!

Damn it.

We both saw that. Colt did it.

Beau, you in there?

If I say no, will you go away?

I see you're as chipper as ever.

What are you doin' here, Dale?

I heard that you might be thinkin' about not sellin'.

- How'd you hear that? - Huh?

Said, "How'd you hear that?"

I hear everything.

I think you're makin' a big mistake.

Look, Dale, don't tell me how to run my business.

I don't tell you how to run yours.

Well, that's all you do! The last time I was out here,

you tried to tell me how to castrate a bull.

I'm not gonna sell, Dale.

Look... we're getting up in age, both of us.

Now I'm 73 years old,

and I don't know if you knew it or not,

but I'm beginning to lose my hearing.

Really? I had no idea.

Yeah, it's just a Timex, but thank you.

And look, at your age,

do you really want to take on this fight?

You know, what they're offering is criminal.

I'm not sayin' you're wrong.

Look, you deserve a lot more,

but a little is better than nothing.

For all you know, the market might keep going down.

You don't think I know that?

What are you gonna tell me next?

Sky is blue? Water's wet?

Next thing out of your mouth is gonna be "What?"

What?

Look, just make the sale.

Go inside, turn your power on, enjoy your family.

If this is your last winter on Earth...

do you want to spend it without television?

I'm not selling. Say hi to Charlene for me.

Well, suit yourself.

You know, your gate's busted.

Colt did it.

Mmm-hmm. He also clipped your mailbox on the way in.

Hey, Ab.

Hey.

You still got time to take a look at my truck?

Yeah.

What was that noise it's making, again?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember.

I just wanted to hear you

do that bad impression again.

Why don't you do an impression of a guy who's not a jackass

and just fixes my truck?

So, what's going on with you?

Well, Dad decided he didn't want to sell the calves.

Why?

Said he wanted to hold out for better prices.

Same thing he used to say when I used to

bring over the Girl Scout cookies.

Well, let's take a look at that truck, huh?

Yeah.

Look at that rock. Whoo!

Guess that's what Kenny's Marriott money gets you, huh?

Yeah, he went to Jared.

You know, about the other night,

that wasn't how I wanted it to happen.

What's that?

Me finding out or you getting proposed to

at a Cracker Barrel?

It was actually sweet.

And they gave us 20 bucks to spend in the general store.

We got a big bag of those sour rolls.

So good.

Anyway, if it was awkward for you...

I'm sorry.

Why would it be awkward?

Well, it was weird for me.

I mean, I didn't expect to get engaged

in front of my ex-boyfriend.

Although I do have this dream

that I get married to Channing Tatum

in front of every guy who ever dumped me.

Kenny's a good guy.

He's smart, he's got a great job.

I'm sure he's got one of them 400k's.

It's 401k.

Even better.

Look, you guys are great together.

I think you'll have a long, happy life here in Garrison.

Unless Channing Tatum shows up

to shoot the Colt Bennett story.

Peter Dinklage is gonna play Rooster.

Oh, hey, Mary.

Nice hog.

Hey, Colt. You cheatin' on my daughter?

'Cause I will murder you.

No, no. No, no... No, no. This is, uh, Abby.

She's my ex-girlfriend. We hang out sometimes.

That does not sound better, does it?