Young Sheldon

Previously on Young Sheldon...

What's going on?

Are you Connie Tucker?

A secret casino room?

The cops shut me down.

Well, let's get this going again.I'm listening.

I was thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.

Grown-up people don't-don't gamble to win a teddy bear.

I'm trying to help you.

You think that grown-ups

are gonna gamble for some stuffed animals?

Yeah, that you're buying back from them.

It seems I owe you an apology.

Come on in.

When children reach adolescence,

a cascade of hormones are released,

causing mood swings, impulsive behavior

and an unbelievable amount of eye rolling.

During this time of change, members of the opposite sex

who caught my sister's fancy included:

New Kids on the Block,

Rufio from the movieHook,

and, oddly enough,

our new Sunday school teacher, Pastor Rob.

Was Mary Magdalene Jesus' girlfriend?

No, just one of his followers.

Yeah, Jesus didn't have a girlfriend.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No. No, I don't.

I don't have a girlfriend either.

All right.

You and me, Billy, couple of bachelors.

Are you allowed to have a girlfriend?

In the Baptist church, yes.

Pastor Jeff is married.

And was marriedbefore,

so he's had two wives, but not at the same time,

that's not allowed.

Thank you, Sheldon.

At least not anymore.

In the Old Testament, Abraham had two,

Jacob had four, and Solomon had 1,000,

but those were largely for political alliances.

Fun fact: only 700 of those were wives.

The other 300 were concubines.

I wouldn't count on the Bible for facts, but that was fun.

So boyfriends and girlfriends are okay?

The way I see it, God is love,

so if we love someone else

in a committed relationship,

we're feeling God.

So, holding hands is okay?

Sure.What about kissing?

Maybe at some point, when you're older.

And what exactly is third base?

I'm thinking it might be a good idea

if we gave the kids a talk about the facts of life.

You mean like, S-E-X?

Who are you spelling that for?

G-O-D.

You really think that's an appropriate topic

for kids their age?

Well, they seem to have a lot of questions about...

S-E-X.

Sex, sex, sex. Get over it.

I just think that's a subject

best left up to the parents.

Glad you feel that way,

because it was your daughter who had the most questions.

Even if...

Missy had one or two questions...

It was a lot of questions.

Doesn't matter how many questions.

We can answer them at home.

I'm sureyou can.

I just think this is our chance to get in first

before they learn it on TV.

That is true.

I flipped past MTV the other night,

and a song was on called...

: "I Wanna Sex You Up."

What does that even mean?

I turned it off

before the young man could clarify.

Well, if you ask me, I think it means he wants to...

No one asked you.

See? Even we have questions. Why wouldn't the kids?

I think they deserve honest answers.

You seem to know a lot about children

for someone who has none of their own.

So what's my

title here?

Manager? Supervisor?

Your title is "grandson who can go home now."

What are you talking about? We're in this together.

I'm sorry, did you buy these machines?

No, but it was my idea how to get them up and running again.

And thank you. Now, go home before I tell your mother

you want to work in a secret casino.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe I should tell her you own a secret casino.

Is that the way you want to play this?

Yeah, it is.

Missy

was asking about sex.

What?

You don't think that she's...

No.

But she's clearly interested in the topic.

That's it-- she's grounded till she's 21.George.

Well, maybe it's good this pastor wants to talk about it.

I sure as hell don't.

You're unbelievable.

I had to do it with Georgie, and it was a disaster.

Well, here is a chance to do it right.

I have two words for you: not it.

Fine.

You can be my assistant manager.

Oh, I like the sound of that.

So, it's a deal?

Well, hold on, how much you gonna pay me?

Did I mention that assistant manager

comes with a spiffy nametag?

Does it also come with a spiffy paycheck?

How much did Dale pay you?

Uh, minimum wage plus five percent commission.

I'll give you half of that.

So, two and a half percent commission?

No, half of the minimum wage part.

What about a percentage of these?

: Yeah, right.

I'm serious.

If it wasn't for me, none of this would be happening.

I'm your grandmother. If it weren't for me,

you wouldn't be happening.

How about this: no hourly wage, just a cut.

What kind of cut you thinking?

Five percent.Three percent.

Five.Three.

You're supposed to go in the middle and say four.

Why don't you say four?

Fine, four.

Two.Come on.

I'll tell you what,

we're in the gambling business, why don't we gamble for it?

Okay.

Great. The number

I'm thinking of in my head-- is it odd or even?

How dumb do you think I am?

In my defense, you used to be dumber.

Why don't you two have a seat.

In here?

Did somebody die?

No, I just want to talk to you.

They're getting divorced.

At least they waited until one of us was in college.

We are not getting a divorce. Just sit.

So, you two

are both growing up, and I thought

that maybe it might be time

to have a talk about...

that and some of the things

that go along with... that.

: What is happening?I think she's trying to have

the human reproduction talk.

Oh, God.Uh, speaking of God,

He is very clear about the do's and the don'ts,

especially the don'ts.

I'm not talking about this with you.

I don't think you'll have any new information for me,

but I'm happy to chime in with biology facts.

I don't have any questions. I'm good. Can we be done now?

So, you'll ask Pastor Rob, but you won't ask me?

I didn't ask you 'cause I know what you'll say.

You don't know what I'm gonna say.

"It's a sin." "You're too young."

"Wait till marriage."

Well, it is, you are,

and you should.

You can't be too young if you're an aphid,

some of them are born pregnant.

I didn't do anything wrong. I just asked some questions.

Well, you can ask me.

I'm not asking you anything, ever.

It's just her hormones.

Would you like to learn more?

When children reach adolescence,

a cascade of hormones are released...

[music playing softly through headphones]

What are you doing?

Making sure you don't run away.

Why?Because that's what happened

the last time you and Mom fought.

I'm not going anywhere.

Now, get out of here, creepo.

Why did you get so mad at Mom?

I don't want to talk to her about that stuff.

It's so embarrassing.Why?

If you have to ask, then something's wrong with you.

But the topic was procreation, and she clearly has procreated.