Cold Wallet

You heard it here first, Tulip coin is the future.

I've... I've been following crypto

since that whole GameStop thing.

You can make money too.

I mean, it's practically a dip if you think about it, right?

In two weeks, we're going to look back at this time

and... and think it's practically a sale.

This is the chance for the little man.

It's about time.

Free money, Mark.

I've been reading Reddit forums

and listening to, uh, you know, podcasts.

It's amazing what you can learn from YouTube.

People are buying houses with this shit.

It's... it's transforming lives.

- Cheers, everyone! - Cheers!

Tulip!

To the moon, to the moon!

Yep, 10X. That one right there.

Diamond hands, baby. Diamond hands.

Hold on for dear life right there.

- Happy holidays. - You heard it here first.

And Merry Christmas to those who celebrate.

Oh, my gosh, Dad.

How did you get this?

Mom said there was no way.

This is so cool.

It's all I wanted.

Hey, guess what?

I'm this close to getting us a house.

So next time you visit,

you can have a little sleepover if you want.

Are you serious, Dad?

Yeah.

We're finally gonna be together again.

Isn't that great?

Billy.

What are you doing here?

You have your hour with her next week.

It's a Christmas party.

The whole family's here.

Couldn't be without Dad, right?

Hey, you know what the... what the court said?

I can call the cops if I want.

Okay, we're not calling the cops.

- It's Christmas, Eileen. - I'm not-- Don't--

All right, just get him out of here.

Hey, Billy, come on.

Do us both a favor. Come back tomorrow.

You can have some alone time with Stephanie.

Justin.

Uh, why don't you do us a favor

and go spend Christmas with your own fucking family?

All right, come on.

Let's go, honey.

Billy, you got her the PS5?

They're like 2,000 bucks on eBay right now.

How about a mortgage payment instead?

I paid the last two months on--

Oh, oh, you paid the last two months?

What about the other ten months?

I'm on my fucking own over here, man.

Wow, you see how she treats you, Justin?

- She has no respect for you. - We're fine.

The only time we fight is when you're in our house.

You don't know what you don't know.

My name's still on this deed, after all.

I still own this home.

-Yeah, but you don't pay for it. -Because I'm not liquid.

Yeah, well, you paid for the PS5, big guy.

I paid for that with crypto, okay?

Crypto, oh, my God.

Seriously? Talking about make-believe money.

Can I sit on your lap, tell you what I would

like for Christmas, Santa?

I would like somebody to show up for their fucking daughter.

I would like some money, some real money,

not this fucking make-believe bit gold that you got

floating up in your sled somewhere, and I would like--

Oh, I know, I would like the last

12 years of my life back.

Can you give me the last 12 years of my life back?

Can you? Can you do that for me? You can't?

Then get the fuck out of my house!

-I'm so fucking over you. -No, don't take her away!

She needs to see how her mom treats me.

Come on, let's keep it tranquilo , man.

Oh, wow, this guy, Jesus.

You know, if you had just--

if you had just listened to me about Tulip.

I listened to you for so long!

You want to see how far I'm up right now?

- No. - It's no joke, okay?

None of you know how it works.

None of you are willing to take risks.

Okay? I think outside of the box,

and you shamed me for that.

I'm not shaming you.

I hope to God I can get Steph out

of this heartless fucking house.

Hold on to some fucking hope.

I hate you.

Fuck!

What? No!

No! No!

Fuck!

The fastest-growing cryptocurrency exchange,

TPX, is in hot water, and thousands of clients

have millions of dollars in frozen assets

with little information.

Big news in the crypto world today.

Tulip has crashed and burnt.

Apparently, the CEO of the Tulip Exchange,

Charles Hegel, died in Kenya over the weekend.

What?

Apparently, he was the only one that had access

to the Tulip Exchange to unlock it.

We're all going broke here right now,

and I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

So, Tulip maniacs,

I need you guys to help me out here.

Go in the comments section. Let me know what you think.

This is not financial adv--

What?

Hey, Billy! This is Dana with Layton Brothers Realtors.

Uh, the homeowners are really excited about your offer

and are looking forward to seeing your proof of funds.

We haven't heard from you in a couple of days.

Uh, can you get your bank to send us proof so we can move

towards making the down payment?

Don't want this great opportunity

to slip away from you and your daughter.

What?

Hey, Mr. Batista gave me his blessing

to buy the place.

He accepts me.

That's great, Dom.

Here. Come on.

Just like when we were kids, man.

- Yeah. - I get to be a business owner.

You got to find your " fudoshin ."

-Remember? -Right.

Literally, it means immovable mind, mental calmness.

You defended against this last week.

-Right. -Right?

Here, come at me.

Get it.

Take control. Dig deep.

It's all right, it's all right.

All right, we're going to go for a little ride.

Nice and easy.

There we go.

All right.

Come on, tap it. Tap it.

Hit me with something.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no. That was good. That was good.

- You sure? - Yeah, man.

I'm tearing up. I'm going to bleed.

-Oh, Jesus. -But, uh...

I'm going to go handle this.

That doesn't look good.

Yeah, well, chicks dig scars.

Hazards of the trade.

Hey, did you check your Tulip account today?

Nah.

Come on.

Let's "human chess."

Okay.

Yo, Tulip really dropped yesterday.

Well, that means it's going to go back up, right?

You said diamond hands,

diamond hands, diamond hands, right?

Hold on for dear life.

They're saying it's useless.

Like a... like a scam coin.

A scam coin?

Yeah, and then the guy who created Tulip,

this dude Charles Hegel, all of a sudden he died.

And... and... and...

And now the app is saying that we owe money?

I-- Let me see the phone.

Let me see your phone.

One day it was there and then, you know,

the next day it was just gone, man.

I took out a pers--

Let's go. Go.

I took out a personal loan to buy this place.

He's not telling anyone, but Mr. Batista's sick.

They were going to foreclose on this place without my help.

I was going to adopt a dog, man.

I was becoming the path, Billy.

Where's the money?

Where?

Wait.

How do we owe $67,000?

-How do we owe more? -There's no way man.

-We were-- -Okay, listen.

It was supposed to be free shi--

There's something else going on here.