Storage 24

What's going on? It's Rickie, Melvin and Charlie on Kiss FM.

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Get your questions in for this morning's guest.

Let's keep the Kiss tunes rolling. This is for all on their way to college.

Turn it up and keep it Kiss.

# Kiss #

Mm-hm.

- What's going on? - I think there was an earthquake.

Don't be stupid. Since when do they have earthquakes in Battersea?

Oh, my God.

What?

- What? What is it? - Must be a bomb.

Why would terrorists bomb here?

Makes more sense than an earthquake.

Do you have a TV?

Shit.

That's my car.

Wait. It could be dangerous out there.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Oh, my God.

Turn on the TV.

Nick, just do it. Just turn on the TV.

I think there's been a plane crash.

No, no, no, here. I can see smoke coming up from somewhere over by the park.

Nick, just turn on the TV.

Oh, shit. Foxy.

Foxy? Foxy, there you are. Come on. Come here.

What the hell is that?

Foxy. Come back. Foxy.

Foxy?

Foxy, what is it?

Foxy.

What is it?

Foxy!

Foxy.

# You can look but don't touch desire

# Your dreams are dust at dawn

# And now you've got what you've been longing for

# You don't want it anymore

# But this time

# This time

I cleared the dishwasher last night

so your favourite mug's in the top cupboard on the left.

Great, thanks.

# But this time you've gone across that line #

You don't know any reason she might have done this to me, do you?

I'm sorry.

- I just can't believe she did this to me. - Forget her, yeah?

I mean, you're probably better off being on your own for a while.

You're never on your own. You're always either with her or with me.

Yeah.

Would you mind putting your window down? It's wafting fumes.

I've lost my deposit. You know that?

Yeah. You've only told me about 50 times.

Look, Charlie, relationships end. People change. You can't blame yourself.

You must be the only person who still uses matches.

- They're handy. - If you wanna burn down a house, maybe.

Hey, and you know what? You know, I don't blame myself. I blame her.

- I didn't change. Do I look like I changed? - No, you haven't, Charlie. No.

No.

Britain is on high alert...

I'm still the same guy. I'm still loveable, do-it-all-for-his-friends Charlie, so...

At this stage it's not clear what has happened,

but reports tell us there has been a plane crash near Hyde Park in central London.

We haven't been made aware of the size of the aircraft...

You hearing this?

- It may have been a military cargo plane. - I just don't get what I did.

A fucking plane has crashed in the centre of London. Please!

- attack or hijack, claiming probable engine fault.

There's someone else. There has to be someone else.

alleging that the plane was shot down.

A quarantine around central London is in effect, and we've been told to expect...

Why do these things always happen when you're trying to get somewhere?

Oh, look at this. For the love of Chr...

Man.

Try it now.

- Still nothing. - Oh, you're kidding me.

They're supposed to keep people out, not in, for fuck's sake.

You couldn't get a better demonstration of how good the lockdown security is. Heh.

I'll try something else. You know, something new.

Would you look at that? There's a man's coat in here.

Is that Shelley's car?

- That's a man's jacket. A man's jacket! - Calm down.

- Let me go. - Not until you calm down.

I bought this car for us, Mark. I bought this car.

Maybe that's why she dumped you.

Too soon, yeah? Sorry.

- You lousy fucking... - Charlie! Charlie. Leave it out.

- Feel better? - Yeah, a little bit.

You're on my... You know.

- Oh, sorry. Sorry. - Yeah.

So, what if she's here.

You grin and get your stuff, and then we're out. All right?

- Come on, let's get it over with. - Yeah. But if she says one word to me...

- Try it now. - What's going on?

My guess would be the plane crash

has fucked with all the power and phone lines in the area.

It's messing up all the security system.

- Keeps sending everything into lockdown. - There's no rush here

You know, you guys just keep chatting. I don't need to be anywhere.

Let's try this.

Ta-da.

Thank you.

- We're gonna be able to get out of here? - Oh, yeah, yeah, don't worry about that.

Cheers for that, mate. I thought she was gonna kill me.

No, no, no.

Brilliant.

You know what I gotta do now, don't you?

Is reroute the alarm to the emergency power system.

Otherwise you're gonna have this all night. You'll be in a right pickle.

So, where's your basement, kid?

Which one is it?

You don't remember, do you?

You won't start something when you see Shelley?

- Of course I'm not. - You are, aren't you?

Promise me you won't.

- Charlie. - I promise.

Cor.

Stinks, doesn't it?

Well, you let me know if you need anything, yeah?

Hmm.

Eh.

Hello.

Hello?

Someone down here?

Mm-hm.

Hmm.

- What...? - Easy, Granddad.

I could hear you upstairs.

I think you might be looking for that. All right?

Granddad?

Here we go.

Ah. Let's have a look here.

- Why don't we just move in here? - So, who gets the couch?

- Uh, I'm getting it. - How do you know?

I chose it. Charlie doesn't have anywhere to put it. He doesn't like it anyway.

He has nowhere to put it because you kicked him out.

Do you wanna start bringing some stuff down?

- No. I'm very happy helping you up here. - 'Cause you're really helping, aren't you?

Well, hello. Who's this little guy?

I like it, put it in there.

- That's the keep box. Yeah.

It's one of the first things Charlie got me.

- Chris. - It's cute. It's cute.

If someone had bought me this, it wouldn't have taken me five years to dump him.

- Shell. - I'll take that.

- Awkward. - Yeah. Awkward, buddy, yeah.

- You might wanna mind your business. - Leave it, Charlie. Leave it.

- Yeah, don't stop on my account. - Charlie, what are you doing here?

- What am I...? - You shouldn't be here.

I left a message telling you what time I was coming.

So you wanted me to see all of this, then, did you?

Charlie, what do you want?

I wanna know what happened to us. That's what I want.

Charlie, now is not the time.

I don't care that everyone else is here. I wanna know why we're splitting up.

I wanna know why we're standing here with our stuff in boxes...

I meant, what do you want from storage?

What?

You are having a fucking laugh.

Stay.

Oh, you can't be...

I hate my life. I do.

Gotta get a new job. This is just fucking ridiculous.

Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

And I deal with absolute muppets. Honestly.

Work in a storage warehouse. What a ridiculous place to work.

Looking after people's stuff. I mean, what...?

Are you done yet, mate?

I can't hear you.

What the fuck?

What the fuck was that?

Probably just air settling in the pipes or something.

- Charlie, you should go. - Maybe we should all leave.

- If the power's down, we should all go. - It'll be back on.

It's been doing this all day since that plane went down.

I just wanna get everything sorted.

- So you can get me out of your life, right? - Yes, Charlie.

- So I can get you out of my life. - Just fuck off.

- Hey, watch your mouth. - Mark.

Charlie, let's just leave.

- I don't know why we should... - Let's leave. Get out. Come on. Leave.

- Bye-bye, then. - Shut up, Chris, really.

Are you all right, sweetheart?

Chris was lucky I didn't give him a slap.

- You know that was lucky, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was lucky.

The stairs are this way, are they?

Are you sure you don't wanna just go home?

Yes. Please, let's just go home.

No. You go. I just wanna stay and get this done tonight.

All right, then we're not going anywhere. We'll stay and help, yeah?

I'm starving.

There's a vending machine downstairs by the toilets.

Okay, look, I'm gonna go with him because I need the loo.

- You wanna come? - No.

- Oh, bring me back some water, will you? - Yeah.

What the hell happened here?