Coffee Cat Mama (Mao Si Ma Ma / 貓屎媽媽)

Mommy, you promised me a birthday present.

Now I have decided I want an astronomical telescope.

What? So expensive.

Cheap ones can only help you see the hunk next door working out.

This one is a refractor telescope that can show you the planets.

One that gives all.

Astrology has gone to your head?

20 grand for an astronomical telescope?

Mommy, you sure have heard, a hobby can be turned into a career.

Maybe I'll become an astronomer because of this,

or end up working for the Observatory.

The answer is "no"-

The most I can do is buy you a binocular.

But you said I could get whatever I liked for my 18th birthday.

You're going back on your word?

It's just a hobby, right?

Should I get you an airplane if you want one?

Take a look, no difference, see?

Stop sighing, alright?

You've been sighing all morning, you are sighing my mood away.

I don't want to, but this is really bothering me.

So many offers all of a sudden:

law, philosophy, architecture music and even cinema.

How am I to choose?

You know I have decidophobia and

that's why I applied to every department, hoping that they would reject me.

Tough luck! I got accepted by all!

Now the ball is back in my court.

I'd say those admission officers are the ones with decidophobia.

My DSE results are still an unknown.

I have to worry about getting no offers from JUPAS.

Are you flaunting it to my face?

Should I call Mommy and tell her you have got so many offers!

Please don't! If she knows I have so many offers,

she will make me pick the one she likes best.

Just kidding, don't look so terrified.

Let's skate!

Mommy?

How come she's learning to skate?

I got it! She saw our skating pic with So Mei in my room.

She asked me if we would skate together all the time.

I said "yes" and we have other pastimes together as well.

Percy said Mommy had been working hard on re-bonding with us.

If it's as what you've said, she must have envied So Mei like crazy!

She wants to win our affection back from So Mei.

You say it's "envy", I'd say "jealousy".

Are you alright?

Let's do it again...

Marcia, are you OK?

I'm fine. Let's do it again.

Are you really OK? Here we go...

So Mei is not the cause of the gap between us,

but Mommy won't be convinced.

She's silly. She will do anything to beat So Mei.

I totally agree...

Really, So Mei? You really will buy me the astronomical telescope?

How very nice of you!

You know, Mommy is so mean!

She wouldn't budge however hard I begged.

I love you so much!

I look forward to it. Bye!

Mommy, you've been back for long?

I just got in.

I was using the computer for my assignment.

You can have it back now.

You must be very tired.

It's so expensive...

What I am presenting is a simulated love game.

It's based on the idea of a secret crush in one's younger days.

At each level, the player is to knit articles of various degrees of difficulty

to win the affection of his target.

Hold it! I have not scolded you hard enough

Or only legal warning can make you see?

I asked you to present Almost All Golden Lotus today,

the game with skimpy outfits.

Now you are talking about knitting?

Give me five minutes, five minutes.

Go ahead.

Level 1, basic skills for knitting

The player learns to cast on.

Because of his crush for the girl,

the boy picks up knitting though he has no interest in it.

It's the girl who first asked him to join the course with her,

but she loses interest half way.

But knitting grows on the boy and there's no turning back.

Seeing that the boy is so good at it,

the girl begins to give him orders to knit.

The following levels are about the boy knitting stuff for the girl:

scarves, shawls, hats or gloves

at increasing levels of difficulty.

The girl's affection for him grows with the completion of each assignment.

At this level, other people's disapproval becomes the boy's obstacle.

In order to complete the assignment as fast as he can,

he has to ignore how others see him and keep knitting.

Level 10 is much more difficult.

He has to crochet various articles for the girl.

A wrong stitch and he has to redo it all over again.

The more intricate the pattern, the greater the affection from the girl.

Whenever an article is completed,

the girl will give him a treat to help him pass.

The value of the treat is tied to the difficulty of the article.

In the following stage, the boy will keep on knitting articles for the girl.

But in love, you don't necessarily reap what you sow.

In the courting process, the girl may fall in love with another man,

and she will care less about the boy.

He will have to knit more to win her affection back.

This is what playing games is about.

You think you have opened the door to a treasure vault

but it turns out to be a trap.

It's the same in real life with relationships.

You don't necessarily reap what you sow.

The player can keep on knitting for the girl, she may still not care.

The player doesn't know when the girl will be touched.

What actually is the outcome?

The player can keep on knitting to gain affection.

When a certain level of affection is reached, he can declare his love.

He can choose to gain more affection first or take a chance.

I'll take a chance.

The girl may say she knows you have a crush on her all along,

but she has never loved you.

What if I keep mum and keep knitting for affection?

Will I win the girl in the end?

As I said, in love, you don't necessarily reap what you sow.

When you are knitting hard for affection,

the girl may marry someone else before you have declared your love.

So Mei, get out!

But why? I thought you bought it!

Tell me where it comes short and I'll change it.

It's not about banning your plot.

I just don't want to let you see me cry.

I can't take it anymore.

It's tragic for the boy.

But, if I were the boy, if I met that witch of a girl,

I would kill her!

Why call her a witch?

You can love her,

she doesn't have to love you back.

But she knows the boy has a crush on her and she says not a word.

She treats him like a fool!

She uses him like a serf!

That has never crossed her mind.

Because you are a woman!

It's well-known that sex and power are a man's core values.

They are tied to his pride.

A man can lose in his judgement, lose his career or his fortune, even his life,

but he can't be fooled by a woman!

What are you doing?

You hate my game. Why should I stay?

Of course not! I am totally sold.

So Mei, let me tell you,

I had not cried for years.

I had forgotten how tears taste like.

Yes, many games have made me feel high, made me laugh or happy,

but none has made me cry like Knit Me Something.

Your game reminds me of days when I held a torch for someone.

So is it good or bad to you?

If the boy in the game really exists,

it sure is bad to him.

Mei.

Don't go in, come with me.

What?

What kind of game is this?

I'd understand if it's to take off a sweater from a girl,

but knitting her one?

I know, it may be boring.

But other than that, does it touch a chord?

Let's say, does it feel familiar?

No. None.

Yes !

But let me tell you, next time you need to betray people for your game,

don't use me or Tri-fork,

I won't cut you any slack.

What do you mean?

The boy in the game is the man up there, right?

It really is so obvious?

Since when did you know he has a crush on you?

In Form 7.

Ten years ago?

So all these years you have been aware that he's in love with you.

You have been playing ignorant.

How could you? That's outrageous!

No wonder it's said a woman's heart is unfathomable.

How could you do that?

So Mei, it seems I don't know you at all.

You're exaggerating it!

I played ignorant to spare us the embarrassment.

Other girls would do the same.

Mom and Fung agreed with me.

Of course, women side with women.

But the one up there is not a woman.

OK...save it.

My boss is a man and he just called me a witch.

But you men care for face.

I've played ignorant so as not to hurt him.

And I want to keep this friend.

He has never declared his love to me.

I couldn't just go to him and say, "Sorry, I don't love you".

Save it...How wicked of you!

I know, you sees him as a serf.

He's at your beck and call, and you order him around.