South Park

South Park 904 512x384 Xvid 136MB

Best Friends Forever

Mom! Mom! Get up, we have to go!

MOM, GET UP!

Oh, Poopie-kins, it's very early.

Mom, I told you! The new Sony PSP game machines go on sale at seven a.m. today.

I have to be the first to get one! Come on!

Sweetie, can't we go after school?

Everyone's moms are taking their kids after school!

We're outsmarting everyone by getting to the store right when it opens! Let's go!

I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when I show up to school with a PSP!

I wonder if Kyle will cry? Oh PLEASE let Kyle cry!

What the hell?!

Kenny, when did you get here?

Friday?! Aw, Jesus!

I'll just... sort of get in here- in here.

Hey dickhole! What do you think you're doing?

Uh, my friend Kenny was saving my place in line.

There's no saving place, fourthie! Get to the back or we'll beat your face in!

Oh, Goddamnit!

They'd better not sell out!

That thing is pretty cool. What games did you get with it?

It's a game called "Heaven versus Hell." Kenny commands the armies of heaven against the forces of Satan.

- Dude, you see what Kenny got? - YES YES, I KNOW! UP YOURS, KYLE!

- Wuh what'd I do? - JUST SHUT YOUR JEW MOUTH!

"Congratulations! You have reached ...lever nine!"

Wow, level nine already? Dude, you kick ass in "Heaven versus Hell."

Yeah, Kenny finally found something he's really good at.

Kenny? Kenny, are you still playin' with that thing?

Kenny, it's been two weeks and you've done nothin' else!

Who cares if you almost made it to lever sixty?!

You're wastin' your life, Kenny!

If you died tomorrow, what would you have to show for it?!

You'er gonna end up wishin' you'd done more with your life, just like your dead-beat father!

- Hey, I heard that, bitch! - I wasn't talkin' to you, asshole!!

- How about I come in there and kick your teeth in! - I'd like to see you try!

You have reached level sixty!

Oh yeah, lever four, sweet!

Open the gate!

Open the gate!

Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, Kenny. I am Peter.

There isn't much time, Kenny.

You're dead, but, your death was no accident. Heaven needs you.

Come! There is much to discuss

Things are not good in Heaven, Kenny.

Satan is planning a massiva attack and he knows we are too few in number to stop him!

God has changed the rules here. For ages, only Mormons were allowed into Heaven.

- Hello - Hi, dear!

But knowing that Hell was becoming much larger, God decided to let more people cross over

so that he could build an army as well, an army that YOU must command.

The Sony PSP was built by God,

to determine who on Earth had the best skills to defeat the armies of Satan.

You... are the best. YOU, are the only hope for the universe.

Satan's army grows as we speak.

The Dark Lord knows that our armies are few in number, and unorgamized.

So our only hope... is perfect strategy.

A child? This is God's solution?

He beat Satan's army in over three thousand separate simulations.

Archangel Michael, what say you?

The child did something none of us could: Reach lever sixty on the PSP.

Now I don't know if that's luck or perseverence, but it's Goddamned impressive.

All right, Kenny, let me show you what we're up against.

This is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Satan's armies will attack the gate ...here.

They are... ten billion in number. Maybe more.

Our armies are here, here, and here.

Just under... ten thousand strong.

We are outnumbered and in need of someone who can singlehandedly bring the whole Dark Empire down.

Basically, Kenny, you... are Keanu Reeves.

My fellow damned souls!

Now is the time for our assault!

You know no fear! You will drink the blood of angels!

We go now! Nothing can stop us!

Step aside! Step aside, I say!

Satan! God has mocked thee once again!

My spy!

God has found a way to defeat your army.

Impossible! How?!

A young man. Basically, he he's like Keanu Reeves.

Oh Jesus Christ.

My Lord. My Lord, we must attack, now!

What's the point?! They have a Keanu Reeves now.

Do not fear, my Lord. Your army is great!

Very well.

Demon Army, begin your march on Heaven!

Up here, you get the best tactical view to protect the fortress.

It is from here, Kenny, that you shall command the armies of heaven.

Simple. You will use... this.

This golden PSP is king of all PSPs.

Hail the holy PSP.

It works just like the ones we sent to Earth.

All the commands you make will be sent to the troops down on the battlefield.

All you have to do is play the game, Kenny. Only this time, It's for reals.

Gabriel returns with news!

Hell's army is departing! They head now for the Gates of Heaven.

Prepare the troops! We must be ready for them!

The time is at hand, Kenny.

The stage is set and the final battle between Heaven and Hell is about to begin!

The fate of the outcome is in your hands.

Where'd he go?

Doctor! Doctor, we have a pulse!

Then that's it! We brought him back.

Amazing, doctor! You've revived somebody who's been legally dead for almost a day!

Call the parents. They're going to be shocked to find out...

their son is alive.

It's the latest in electro-plastilical science. Your son's organs are all functioning again.

It's a miracle... Kenny, you're alive.

I'm a-fraid he can't respond to you.

You see, being dead for that long, most of Kenny's brain cells died from lack of oxygen.

Your son is alive, but, in what we call a "persistant meditative staute."

Will he ever recover?

I'm afraid no.

Brain cells cannot be repaied once dead.

But his soul is still in here.

Almost... trapped in here, if you will.

Kenny is the same as he ever was.

It's just that, now, he's more like ...a tomato.

He can't more on hiw own-ah how will he eat?

A feeding tube. It pumps a nutrient paste directly into Kenny's stomache.

With it we can actually keep Kenny the tomato alive for years.

A feeding tube?!

Yes. Apparently they're using machines to keep them alive.

But... that's not natural. God intended Kenny to die! What are these people doing?!

The child's soul is now trapped inside his vegetative body.

We have no one to command the troops with the PSP's

And Satan's armies are approaching.

Oh God-damnit

Boys I want to thank you for coming down to my office on such short notice.

Are we in trouble or something?

No. Boys, I'm a laywer.

Your friend Kenny has passed away and I've called you here to read his will.

Kenny had a will?

In the highly liekly event of my death, I, Kenny McCormick, wish to leave all my belongings to my good friends, Stan and Kyle.

Dudes, you were the friends a guy could have.

That's... really touching.

Fag!

To Eric Cartman:

Eric, I never really liked you. But then, nobody does.

You have no ability to feel, and you are going to die alone and miserable.

It is only because I feel so sorry for you that I leave you my Sony PSP.

Oh yeah! Oh yeah, baby! Who the man? Who the man?

There is one more thing I would like to ask you all, as my friends.

If I should ever be in a vegetative state and kept alive on life-support, please,...

Please what?

I don't know. I lost the last page.

Who cares? Kenny's dead! When do I take possession of my PSP, sir?

It's right here, along with Kenny's other belongings. They're all yours.

Yes!

- He's alive! - What?

Kenny McCormick! He's alive at the hospital!

Oh my God!

Your army nears the Kingdon of Heaven, my Lord.

I don't know if we should continue without knowing more about this Keanu Reeves God has.

Satan! I come bearing good news!

The Keanu Reeves boy has been revived on Earth! His soul is no longer in Heaven.

Then God is helping us.