The Simpsons

Stick close by, kids, and I'll explain everything

you need to know about the briny deep.

I want to see a giant squid attack a sperm whale

and battle to the death.

I want to swim free with the fishes.

I brought my lucky red swim trunks.

All right, can the chatter and listen up.

Here we have the hideous moray eel.

And over here, we have the tasty but repulsive sea bass.

Yuck! What the hell is that?

- Bart! - Come on in.

The water's fine.

Boy, you come out of that tank right now!

Do some tricks, Bart.

- Oh! - Stop that.

It only encourages him.

Ah!

Dad, you got to see this!

Oh, not again!

I nailed it.

I have tears in my eyes,

like when I saw David Attenborough's Blue Planet.

Did you really watch them all?

Well, most of the first one.

- Lisa? - Yes, Mr. Largo?

- I just want to say... - And I just want to listen.

I'm a tuna!

You really should give up the saxophone.

What?!

Oh, I know. I know. You're fabulous.

Well, then I shouldn't give it up.

I mean, what would you say if I said

you had to give up teaching music?

I'd say, "Hallelujah!"

I could go back to my first love: Not teaching music.

We can't do the couch gag. When is Lisa gonna get here?

Worry about yourself.

Why would you ask me to give up the saxophone?

Lisa, sweetie, I'm afraid

this world is filled with Lisa Simpsons.

- Huh? - Bright, talented

and doomed to disappointment.

What you're saying is horrible.

It's horrible.

Mr. Largo, what is going on here?

I'm trying to encourage a student

to give up on her dreams!

You're crushing it as always, Dewey.

I'll take it from here.

Now, Lisa, this is for your own good.

For every Yo-Yo Ma, there's a million Ma-Ma Yos.

And for every Shaun White,

there are a million White Shauns.

And for every Albert Einstein,

there are a million Herman Schmidbergs.

Okay, so maybe I'll never be great,

but shouldn't I try?

No.

Sleeping people are my canvas.

That's some cutting satire, Simpson.

Yeah. Check out Bill Maher over here.

Ay, caramba!

Let's see. Little Bo Peep?

That'll traumatize him good.

Oh, I got it, the perfect one.

No, not that. Anything but that!

Oh, thanks for your input.

I'll try to come up with an alternative.

Put it on.

Get in there.

Sing like we rehearsed!

More pep!

Sing until food fills your mouth!

Now get the Wite-Out.

Leapin' lizards!

He's right.

I know it's true. I always have.

Honey, ignore everyone,

and listen to someone objective: Your mother.

You're great!

It's too late. I'm quitting music.

There's a microscope in there, too.

You can sell it.

Don't give up your dream.

When I was little, I dreamed about marrying a dashing prince,

and it actually happened!

You were married before Dad?

No! I mean your father.

My father. So that's Homer, or...

There's no "or"!

You can't let someone else's opinion tear you down.

I want to hear your sweet music,

so suck it in and get downstairs right now!

You're the best. You're the best.

Herman Schmidberg!

For the love of jazz?

I can't play! I just can't!

It's in my head, but my hands won't do it!

What's with her?

Woo-hoo! Whoa!

I'm suffering from beer-tigo!

Whoa!

You don't have to worry about what's wrong with you.

Just find out whatever it is, and you can fix it.

ADHD? No, that's Bart.

OCD? No, that's Mom.

This one's Dad. This one's Dad.

This one's Dad. This one's Dad.

What is the name when you can't perform something

that you've practiced four times a week since you were three?!

The yips, named for Dr. Augustus Yip.

A mysterious psychological condition

where well-rehearsed skills suddenly become impossible.

Like all mental disorders, the yips are likely incurable.

Oh, for God sake.

The yips. I have the yips!

Bart, what happened to your pupils?

They're Annie'd, okay?

Lisa, you want to play some more?

No!

Lisa, honey, are you okay?

You barely touched your green disgustos.

Some nights, there's isn't enough kale in the world

to brighten a girl's mood.

Oh, that's a good one!

- Don't you dare. - Okay.

I have some news.

My great half step-aunt Eunice Bouvier

is turning 100 years old, and she wants us there.

Is this the aunt who lives in Florida?

It's not just Florida. It's Gainesville!

I only have two weeks vacation,

and I have to spend 'em in Dullsville?

Gainesville. If we have time,

we'll take a day trip to Dullsville.

HOMER, LISA AND BART: Oh!

It's my turn to pick the vacation!

Also, she loves music,

so I'm sure she'd like Lisa to play for her.

Stop it!

Fine. The Simpsons are going to...

Oh, I can't say it.

Gainesville.

Uh, takeoff is

the most perilous phase of air travel.

If you're gonna crash, that's when it happens.

Wait. Am I on mic?

Yes, Frank.

Uh, folks, you were just listening

to a new play I wrote... Death at 600 Feet.

Yeah.

I don't think that's making it better.

Well, thank you for the

I'm sorry to announce that all our TVs are out.

Oh!

But you're welcome to read our in-flight magazine,

featuring an interview with our CEO Hanuki Atanawa.

Oh!

Maybe we'll have one of those passenger riots

that seem to occur every other day on U.S. airlines.

- Could I get another seat? - No, absolutely not!

You chose an economy modest ticket.

Please! They're both farting!

All it would take is a single spark

to set this powder keg off.

Hey, hey, TWA!

How many flights did you cancel today?!

Hey, hey, TWA!

Folks, I'm afraid due to turbulence

among the passengers, we are gonna have to land immediately.

Looks like we will not be going to Gainesville.

It is pretty great, isn't it?

Our new destination is, uh... let's see.

New Orleans!

It's a miracle! Everyone wins!

Look, Lisa! Isn't that nice?

The sign's telling you to celebrate!

What are you celebrating?

Humidity at a 98%.

Don't they sound great?

Yep. More musicians better than me.

Oh, boy.

You're good at cheering her up. I'll take Bart.

Whoop-de-do.

Hmm.

Well, I appreciate you choosing me, Dad,

but I don't know how much fun I'll be.

I think I can cheer my princess up.

- I don't think you can. - Oh, I think I can.

I'm a pretty tough nut.

Well, if you're a nut, I will crack you up.

Not with puns, I'm afraid.

- Yes, I can. - No, really.

- You like puns. - No, I don't.

I said cheer up!

That kind of scares me.

- Scary "eek" or scary "ha ha"? - Why would you say that?

There is no scary "ha ha."

- Yes, there is. - No, there isn't.

- What about scary clowns? - Nobody likes scary clowns!