Nobody Nobody But Juan

Where are you now?

I'm here already,

My countrymen,

a little silence please,

Will you please turn off your cellphones

and refrain from talking to each other?

And stop pressing items in the dark,

you might press something else,

And don't forget to support and

patronize Filipino movies, okay?

Projectionist! Start now!

(footsteps tapping)

OK!

(footsteps tapping away)

We need to bust out of this place.

I thought of a way out

you have a way out?

How?

Uhm... I can open this.

You need a hammer?

Alright. Figure a way to hammer that open,

and I'll find a hammer.

Alright.

Here it is.

Whoa!

What's that?

The hammer.

It's too small.

I need something bigger.

A bigger hammer? - Yes

Alright. Keep working on that.

Here it is.

I have a hammer.

What is that?

A bigger hammer!

It's too heavy.

We need to hammer it from the outside.

You're outside!

I'm outside?

I'm outside! - How did you get out?

That means I can escape!

What about me? - Here's the hammer.

What the... you do it!

See you around.

Hey! Hey!

How about me? I can't hammer this!

I can't fit between the bars.

How will I escape?

How indeed?

Aha! I know now! (snickering)

(sounds ofkey turning door unlocking and opening).

Let's go! Alright.

Follow me.

Careful, they might hear you.

And where do you think you're going?

Back.

To the cage, over here.

Back! Back!

I will lock it.

Lock it!

You even got the hammer, huh?

I use this to take my fingernails off.

.

Enemy coming!

Run for your lives!

Right now!

(audience screaming and shouting, footsteps rumbling)

Here... here.

- Tu, did you call everyone upstairs? - -Juan! We might get bombed here, Juan!

You two behave like you're husband and wife,

when you're both men!

What are you, billy boys?

She's mine!

I can't do such a thing to you.

It's Lolay here who says all sorts of things.

Why me?

He's right, Lolay.

You're such a teaser!

Juan...

Juan...

Don't be afraid.

We won't leave each other.

All of you!

We won't leave each other.

We will stick together until we grow old.

(exhales)

Ei, maw'nin' Mr. Juan! Rise and shine!

What?

Rise and shine! You...

you come with me for breakfast, aw'right?

Rise and shine...

Aw'right, come on!

Rise and shine your mama!

I don't understand what the hell you're saying...

rise and shine...

Goodmornin'

Hey, why don't you eat your food?

It makes you strong and healthy.

You should eat your food.

How do you say... uh... uh...

How do you say... egg... in English?

Yes! Egg! How do you say egg in English?

Aaahhh... ha!

English?

You... how do you say... uh...

wake up now... wake up!

Lilian, come! Look it's Juan!

Where?

There! Come on, come on. Come on, let's go!

Hi handsome! Oooohh!

Lilian, look! It's a boy!

Uh...

can I kiss you?

Oh! (spitting sound)

Oh, Lilian, come!

Mr. Juan! You sit over here.

Uh... Randilla!

Whazzup, yo!

Take him. (mumbles)

Yah don't wanna eat?

If yah don't wanna eat, we don't wanna feed yah!

Aw'right!

My egg! Hey! My egg!

Hey, that's my egg! Don't touch my egg!

Hey, that's my egg! My egg!

Uhm... are you okay, Juan?

Hey! I've noticed that... lately... you haven't been...

...talking!

You fell asleep again.

Yeah... pardon me.

It's really hard to have an illness such as epilepsy.

Epilepsy is not your illness!

It's Narcolepsy!

It's when you fall asleep without noticing

...and instantly

That's it! Eclipsy!

You know, Miting,

even if you are the way you are,

you entertain me, you give me joy,

because you're an idiot!

It doesn't matter if I'm an idiot,

as long as I see you happy.

What really seems to be your problem? Huh?

It's hard to explain.

Some other time.

Does your son know about this?

Hi, Dad!

I have two sons here,

but it's like, they're not.

Ahem!

Oh my God!

Oh, He's notjust your God.

He's our God too.

Also, a father-in-law's advice,

don't use the Lord's name for useless expressions.

That's bad!

Ugh! Mario! Mario?

My son has so many possible choices for a wife,

why did he marry a witch?

Hello? I'm still here! I can hear you.

Heller! I'm sorry.

I thought you evaporated in the air!

Juan,

It's better if you stay here, while I watch... - Excuse me, is Ms. Alanna in?

Uh... yeah!

Oh... good morning!

I am Julie,

I am your new caregiver,

and I'll take care of you like a carebear.

Oh my goodness! Is he dead?

Oh, no. He's just sleeping.

Sleeping and standing?

Like a horse?

Exactly! Like a horse.

An old horse. (laughing)

TV!

You go watch TV, I gotta run.

I'm taking a shower.

Hey!

Please don't display your shortcomings! - -Why did you expose that?

That looks like Chinese salted candy!

Troublemaker! Shameful!

Getting naked...

Hello! Hello!

Didn't I tell you our palabok,

bihon and sotanghon is good here?

Yeah! I'm so full!

Isn't it, my American friends?

Yes, it's uh... it's delicious food,

great atmosphere,

wonderful ambiance...

Atmosphere? Ambiance?

I don't think I know those words.

Food is the only word I understood.

Where you buy? Where you buy?

Buy what?

The ambiance and the atmosphere!

Is that available in any... uh...

grocery stores?

Yah! Yah! (laughing)