Festival of the Living Dead

I mean, I still can't believe it, you know.

It's Harvard.

I mean, just promise me

you won't turn into some privileged snob.

Oh, well, if I do,

I give you full permission to kidnap and rehabilitate me.

Well, rehab is a long, torturous process.

I mean, you'll be exposed to music, like...

No!

Downstairs.

You did not say they were coming.

They're my friends and it's my birthday.

They're Kevin's friends.

Kevin's my boyfriend.

Iris, please!

Come on. Not today.

I just thought we have a tradition, you know,

milkshakes, our birthday hike, the blackthorn.

Dude, we're not 14 anymore.

Things, they have to evolve

and I swear they're really not that bad.

Just give 'em a chance.

Ash.

Ash?

Ash?

Maybe we're early.

Oh my God, this is so awkward.

What the fuck? Hello?

Oh my gosh.

What the fuck!

Hi, Destiny. Hi Lindsay.

Where's your fucking sister?

Downstairs.

You're the bitch!

Hey!

Urgh! Ashley, your brother needs to chill.

Yeah.

Ugh! I swear.

He just has to be the center of attention all the time.

Hey, I thought you said this was a party.

Like, no one is here.

Oh, well, I'm on babysitting duty

until my folks get back from their second honeymoon.

It's kind of crazy, but, I don't know,

I just figured we'd do something more low key.

Well, Kevin just showed up with his brother.

He brought a keg.

I told him a cake.

- Okay. - Great.

- Over here. Hello. - Hello.

Happy birthday, babe. Hi.

- Fucking knackers. - You look pretty pretty.

Thank you.

- I try. - Oh, I got you something.

Ooh, gimme.

- Ah. - Hmm. What's this?

Living Death.

New on the market?

Yeah. So we're hoping you'll share.

Guys, come on. We talked about this.

Not in my house.

My little brother is here.

And if my parents found out, they'd literally kill me.

Okay. Okay.

All good points, but hear me out.

Okay.

How are you gonna enjoy tonight's festivities

without a little buzz?

Mm hmm.

What?

Guys spill, what?

The Festival of the Living Dead

is back for it's 55th year.

Join us this weekend to celebrate life

and commemorate those who died in the tragedy of '68.

We've got a killer lineup of over 50 acts,

including headliner Shaftbuster,

Pinky Swear, and Godesszilla.

And don't forget the burn.

Live it up at the Festival of the Living Dead 2023.

Festival of the Living Dead!

Oh my gosh.

Are you serious?

Guys, No. Aren't these like a grand apiece?

So?

Your boy over here paid big bucks for these?

Wait, oh my God, isn't Goddesszilla playing this year?

- Who? - Goddesszilla?

Goddesszilla!

That's like Iris and I's favorite band of all time.

They're post-punk.

I mean, I never thought I would see them live, ever,

but, oh my gosh!

Mmm. Thank you.

Seriously, this is the coolest gift ever, but...

I can't go.

I promised my dad I'd watch Luke.

What?

Wait, seriously?

Yeah.

Can we at least do a keg chug before the rest of us do?

Yeah. Just, just take it downstairs.

Cool.

- Huh? - Sick.

Okay.

Oh my God.

Oh.

You know your girlfriend is a downer.

She doesn't even party.

Bro. Shut up, all right?

She's chill.

Oh damn!

Alright, we're here at Festival of the Livings Dead.

55 years.

Start our challenge. You know you want it.

Snorting meteors for the win.

This is lame.

You should go to the Festival of the Living Dead.

I can't. I have to... I'll watch Luke.

Your dad will never know.

Yeah, but I can't just

What kind of friend would I be

if I let you reject free tickets to see Goddesszilla alive?

Iris.

Oh my God. Are you sure?

I know you'd do the same for me. So.

Yeah, I would do anything for you.

Oh my gosh.

Don't worry, folks.

I'll protect you from any of the wandering demons

- in this house. - Oh my God.

I won't let 'em get you.

Kevin, what the hell? Put that down.

Relax.

Can't even figure out his own locker combination,

let alone how to shoot a gun.

Oh, yeah?

Thank you.

Once I save your lives from the Succubus,

then you'll be thanking me.

Kevin, no!

Damn! Cool moves, babe.

This isn't funny.

Kevin, this shit is real.

My grandfather shot actual living corpses with it,

so you can't just point it at people.

You know you're really sexy when you're all serious.

Stop. You're ignorant.

Look, I wasn't gonna shoot your brother.

Luke what are you even doing down here?

You promised to stay in your freaking room.

I ran out of chips.

You ran out of chips, huh?

Mm.

Go!

Gee. Don't have to be such a bitch about it.

Don't be mad, okay? Come on.

I'm not mad. It's fine.

And I did look pretty hot.

Like if there was undead assholes running around,

I'd smoke those motherfuckers.

Hey, speaking of the undead.

Yeah?

I'm going to the festival.

What?

Let's go! Let's go!

What are you doing?

What? I don't want you playing with it while I'm not here.

Okay. Not everyone's as dumb as your idiot boyfriend.

And I don't need a babysitter.

Iris isn't babysitting.

She's just watching the house and er, chilling.

So why can't I come with you?

Seriously?

You'll have fun.

Just be good and watch your blood sugar. Okay?

Byeee!

So glad you're coming.

Okay it has no carbs, no sugar, no fat

and then you just add a tablespoon of cinnamon.

And it gives you all the nutrients you need.

You don't even need to eat anymore. You just drink that.

We're going to the Festival of the Living Dead fuckers!

- Go on baby! - Come on!

Oh shit.

Okay. Well, there goes the rest of our day.

Nah!

Where are you going?

I know a back entrance. All right.

Don't worry about it.

My boy, Tommy, he's gonna let us in the staff entrance.

No lines, no hassle.

We do it every year.

- Cool. - Hmm.

That's the shit.

Stop. Please.

You want me to drive?

Nah. No, no.

Nah, I'm all right. Don't worry.

Hey, do you actually,