She Wolf Rising

Don't.

There's no place for you in the human world.

I beg to differ, sister.

There is.

- Gina, darling, listen to me.

I'm not talk to you as an agent.

I'm talking to you as a friend.

It's not the right project for you.

It's not what you do best.

- And you have no idea what I'm capable of.

Just give me the goddamn Scorsese audition

and I'll show you.

- You don't have to show me anything.

I know you're a good actress.

The best in your field.

- Yeah well, maybe I'm better to move on

to a bigger and better field.

Darling, I believe you

and I believe in you,

but there's no way I can get you into that audition.

- Why? Because I'm a fucking scream queen?

- What do you want me to say, Gina?

- I want you to say that you'll do your job

and get me the audition.

Excuse me.

Do you even have a photo of yourself

that doesn't have you dripping in blood?

I have a perfect shot.

Ugh, God help me.

Okay, put your picture in an envelope.

Oh shit.

- Tape it to your door.

If Pete doesn't see it when he drives by,

you know he won't stop.

Shit.

Sorry darling,

you know he's a pain in the ass.

- No, it's 'cause I just cut my finger

'cause you got me aggravated!

B-blood alive.

Oh, shut the hell up.

You know.

Just need a new goddamn agent.

Stupid bullshit.

New agent is what I have to do.

Then I'll get good parts.

Shit. Fuck. Fuck.

God damn it.

Fuck.

Say hello to your boss for me.

It's like I told ya,

you can run but you cannot hide.

Rufus gon' cut you

side to side.

No!

What the fuck'd you do that for?

Fuck!

Hahaha.

No!

Fuck you!

You dumb twat.

What the fuck'd you have to go and do that for?

Anyway, it's okay.

It's okay.

No, it's alright, everything gon' be,

everything gon' be just fine.

I can still carve you up.

Why Rufus, you are one sick, mother fuckin' puppy,

you know that?

Thank you, Professor.

Hahahaha.

Oww! Shit!

Oh shit!

Ah, shit!

What the fuck are you?

You're a fuckin' zombie!

You're a fuckin' cunt!

I know you! You're a fuckin' zombie, right?

- Oh, I'm part of Amy, Professor.

Hahaha, fuck!

Ow, shit!

- Dude, that was so totally fucking awesome.

I mean, that fucking rocks.

What'd you think of her?

- Do you really need to ask me that question?

If she was vomiting and had explosive diarrhea,

I still wouldn't kick her outta bed.

I would climb up into her ass.

I would build a summer home

and I would vacation there on the weekends.

How the hell did you get your hands on this DVD?

The movie's not even out yet.

I know, right?

Tell me, you fuck!

Trust me, I wish I could.

But...

- Do you need me to punch you in the dick?

Is that what you need?

- Alright, you ever had one of those things

where you're not really sure if you're dreaming

or if it's real?

Mmhmm.

You're gonna think I'm nuts.

- Dude, I've known you since kindergarten.

There's no doubt in my mind that you're

a big ol' fuckin' bag of crazy.

Tell me!

You know you want to.

Alright, I'll tell you

but you gotta promise not to tell anybody.

Alright, so I was in the magazine store, right?

And I was tryin' to distract myself,

get my mind off Allison.

Then, I saw it.

Saw what?

The latest issue of Dude On Dude?

You're a dick. No.

The latest issue of Scream Sirens

with none other than

Gina Skylar on the cover.

Dude, I have that issue.

I love that issue.

Like, that issue could be the ultimate homo test.

If you don't catch wood lookin' at that picture,

Bing, you're a frickin' homo.

- Did you read the article on the inside?

- No. What for? I looked at the picture.

- The magazine was just the overture.

Continue.

- As I read the article, I realized

that there was a lot more to this princess of darkness

than meets the eye.

True, her curvacious body was the cause

for the petrified forest in my pants,

but her eyes?

Her eyes as beautiful as they were

seemed to be crying out for me to help.

I clung to every word as I read her intimate story.

My heart's rhythm changed. My breathing changed.

Suddenly, the world seemed different.

I felt lighter and more alive than ever before.

Something was happening to me.

It was frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

I wanted and thirsted for more.

I eternally ached for this euphoric sensation

my entire life.

And now the doors have opened

letting in a fantasmagoric feeling

that I surrender to completely.

Oops.

Thank you.

Do you want me to sign that?

That would be awesome.

Awesome.

Do you have a pen?

Umm, hold on.

Hey, can I borrow a pen?

No.

What do you think this is, a charity center?

If you want a pen, you gotta buy it.

If you're gonna write in that magazine,

you gotta buy that shit too.

This ain't a fuckin' library.

Thank you.

What's your name?

Jake.

Turn around, Jake.

What?

There you go.

Thank you.

- Maybe I'll see you around, Jake.

- Hey asshole, this isn't enough money.

You still owe me 30 cents.

Dipshit.

No fucking way.

Way.

I never went home that night because I lost the magazine.

The magazine in which Gina Skylar wrote,

"I'm sure we'll meet again."

Those words vibrated up and down my spine.

I kept thinking about her and wondering

would I ever see her again?

How are you, young man?

You're Jake, right?

This was unbelievable.

Robert Lonzo, the biggest producer

of horror films in the world

was calling my name.

He's the man responsible for discovering Gina Skylar.

Yeah, I am.

Come here!

I hear you're a gentleman and a real fan.

I guess.

- Don't guess, ya either are or you're not.

No, I am, sir.

Good! Would ya like to get in?

It's been a long time since I've

spoken to a real fan.

Don't worry. I'm not queer.

Besides, Gina's in here too.