Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown

Somebody asks you, "Where are you from?"

And you answer, "I'm from Chicago,"

nobody's gonna give you a patronizing response like,

"Oh, Chicago's charming."

Hey, Chicago!

More likely, it'll be, "Wow, Chicago,"

or "Oh, Chicago."

They'll be impressed.

Chicago's a town, a city that doesn't ever

have to measure itself against any other city.

Other places have to measure themselves against it.

It's big, it's outgoing, it's tough, it's opinionated,

and everybody's got a story.

I have been coming to the Ale House...

What can the Ale House tell you about Chicago?

As late afternoon gives way to evening

in Chicago's Old Town, it's time to drink.

Though, to be fair, almost any time is time for a drink

at the Old Town Ale House.

Another favorite of mine is... The difficult ones

are the people who... The chorus assembles

to give their opinions on matters of the day,

subjects of great import to this city on the lake,

this city of broad shoulders, this true metropolis.

But there's... there's no shortage of characters in here.

You know, I've lost a couple really great ones...

John Fox the comic died a few years ago.

We just lost Ruben "Four Toes,"

this 400-pound Mexican guy.

We just called him Ruben, and then when he had

his big toe cut off, then he became Ruben "Nine Toes."

Then when he had his other big toe cut off, he became

Ruben "Eight Toes,"

and then when he had his leg cut off, it changed down

to Ruben "Four Toes."

He blames all his problems on the fact his mother didn't

give him any titty milk.

I mean, these guys, there's nobody coming through the door

to replace 'em.

The Old Town Ale House opened in 1958...

and has been serving beer and other intoxicating

beverages ever since, unless you're on the "no shot" list,

in which case your drinking options have been, for the good

of the community, limited.

There's a "no shot" list?

There is.

The only guy that ever got off it is down there now,

and it was just 'cause he's a peer, and yeah,

we have a fairly extensive "no shot" list.

Fair... extensive, meaning you can drink here,

but no shots for you.

No shots.

'Cause just... that will lead to no good?

History has shown us that these people

should not drink a shot.

Well, now, of course, what they do is

they go to another bar and drink shots,

and then they come over and we get the remnants of...

Right.

Right.

Bruce Cameron Elliott and his ex-wife are the proprietors

of the Old Town Ale House.

Bruce likes to brag that he's never had an honest job,

but he's a writer, legendary blogger, and artist.

So who comes here?

I mean generally.

Who are your regulars?

I think the most interesting thing about this bar...

On an average night, if you look down this bar

at 10:00 or 11:00, I would say the average age

is certainly over 40... - Right.

Which is very unusual.

It's really what's missing in my life.

I need an old man bar.

Is there a common thread to the... your regulars?

The common thread is... Of our hard-core regulars?

Yeah.

They're basically alcoholics.

Well, I mean, I was dancing around that.

I wouldn't... we don't dance here.

There's no dancing.

The late John Fox, who was my all-time favorite funny man,

he came up with the Ale House handshake.

The secret Ale House handshake was like... in the morning,

which was that.

Right, what do you have to do to get barred here?

You know, punch somebody, probably more than once.

More than once?

The walls of the bar are covered with his portraits

of Ale House regulars, which he mostly paints

in the basement, next to the beer cooler.

More notorious are his paintings of well-known

political figures who have, for one reason or another,

raised Bruce's ire.

They are inevitably depicted in an unflattering, let's say

non-family-friendly light.

Putin has been behaving very poorly,

let me put it that way.

I mean, but he also intrigues me.

Plus I also have the extra satisfaction

of knowing he would not like what I'm gonna do,

and that... that's... you know, that gives you

a lot of pleasure.

There is no shortage of opinions at the Ale House bar,

and Bruce's opinions and the scope of his work extends

far beyond Chicago's borders.

I'm working on... my latest painting is Putin.

Oh, say no more, I want to see.

I would like some advice, because I was thinking

of the classic "Catherine the Great hoists stallions,"

but let me show you... - There's ponies involved?

I love ponies.

Well, let me show you what I've come up with,

because... simply because of the size constraints.

This is... of course, that's our beer cooler and everything.

This is where the magic happens.

Well, this is where... Yeah, this is where

Sarah Palin was painted.

Whoa!

And... Originally I was thinking...

And I'd be very interested in your input.

Originally what I thought was Catherine the Great,

the horses, and he in the receptive position.

But then on the other hand, when I put him in a tutu,

I thought, "I think that I've really uncovered"

the true Putin."

Ballet's very important in Russia.

Right.

And if I painted him naked, that would almost be macho.

Yeah, you don't need the... I mean,

presumably tiny genitals.

Well, I don't think there's any doubt about that.

Um, I mean, look, he's got his shirt off, so already...

That's the important part.

He's universally identifiable, because he really likes

to take his shirt off.

No, he does, and I took his shirt off.

He loves... I think this is an iconic image as is.

- I really do. - I think it says it all.

I was waiting... I'm glad you told me that,

because I think I can go full-steam-ahead now.

I'm thinking pastel... I've gotten pretty good with pastels,

but this might be...

All fans of... the people who follow your blog

and know so much about... You know, I know who fixes

your walk-in refrigerator, I know who fixes the bathroom,

I know who comes in and cleans the floors, and I know

the entire morning routine between Fancypants and...

Street Jimmy.

And Jimmy, and I know so much about all of these people

and just the little... the day-to-day workings,

but do you think there's something to be said

that, like, you know, the trajectory

of your clientele is not... No, it's-

- Does not tend to be... - It's not ascending.

It's not... it's not ascending.

It's not in ascendance, it's... yes, and I've lost

a couple really... I mean, we've really lost some beauties.

I mean, it's the perils of being a saloon keeper, you...

Here's my take on that, bar people do not live

as long as vegan joggers.

However... however, they have more fun.

In a city of factions... of neighborhoods... black, white,

North side, South, Cubs or White Sox... everybody

at one point or another seems to agree on this place,

Valois in Hyde Park.

Gotta grab your tray.

That's part of the rule here.

Um, I think meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, please.

There you go.

Thank you.

I'll have the white fish, the mashed potatoes, and corn.

I'm very happy about this.

Two of my guilty pleasures on one plastic tray.

Wow, they sure gave us a lot of fish.

So what is... where am I?

What is this neighborhood?

This is Hyde Park.

This is the heart and soul of Hyde Park.

So, if you were running for office,

why would you use this place as your staging area?

What's the social importance of it?

You will see every politician, black and white,

running for city office will

come through here at some point.

Why?

It's just kind of a hangout.

You'd see Harold Washington here a lot.

I mean, Barack... I used to see Barack here all the time,

mostly for breakfast.

The machine that is Chicago politics goes straight back

to emperor Richard Daley... The father, then the son...

With a diverse cast of scoundrels in between.

How are things in Chicago?

I mean, on the arc of the trajectory... The problem was