Angie Tribeca

On six.

Mr. Anderson, LAPD. Open up.

Take it down.

How may I help you? Ugh!

Go, go, go, go, go!

I don't know what you're looking for, but it's not here.

Bedroom one... nothing.

Nothing in bedroom two.

Oh, thank God you're here.

Damn it! Nothing in the bathroom.

- Sorry to disturb you sir. - No, no, no!

I've been here for six months.

I told you. There's nothing here.

It's here.

Mr. Anderson, it's illegal to have a pet ferret

in the state of California.

You're going away for a long time.

Let's take out the trash.

You were right about Anderson. He did have an illegal ferret.

Anderson may have had the ferret,

but he definitely didn't bring him into the state.

We got to find out who's running this thing.

I think we've let him sweat long enough.

- How you doing, Ian? - Pretty good.

Wrong answer.

- Fine? - That's more like it.

You're looking at 50 years for possession of a ferret,

unless you're willing to play ball.

We could use another power hitter.

Where'd you get the ferret? Just give me a name.

- Don't you have a name? - Yeah, it's Angie, but I never liked it.

- How about Meegan? - Where'd you get the ferret?

If I tell you his name, he'll kill me.

"If I tell you his name, he'll kill me."

"If I tell you his name, he'll kill me."

No, no, no. It's more like, "he's gonna kill me.

The bad guy, I'm afraid he's gonna kill me."

I got it. I got it. It's like,

"I'm a dead man if I tell you his name.

"Nyah, nyah, nyah." That's really good.

That's really good. Yeah.

Okay. His name is...

Aah!

Aah!

Alan.

- Uh, Oscar. - Arthur.

- Arthur. Arthur? - Ira.

Ira. Ira? Ira?

Oh.

I wish I could fall asleep that fast.

I just toss and turn.

Atkins: Tribeca, Geils! Get out here.

We have a problem.

What are you doing here?

Hello, Meegan. I heard you were thinking about changing your name.

How'd I know that? Because I'm fish and game, and we know everything.

Bless you.

What? Damn it.

This is special agent Laurie Partridge,

Fish and Game Division, rodent task force.

The best of the best of the best.

I believe you have a ferret for me.

That ferret is evidence from our bust, Laurie.

Wait, is there some history here?

As a matter of fact, this building used to be a ball bearing factory.

Aah!

Tribeca and I were roommates in the academy.

We were like brothers, except we were girls and unrelated.

That all ended when we were both up for the same spot in the Fish and Game Division

and Laurie threw me under the bus.

You fell under that bus, and I thought that was water under the bridge.

It was a dry riverbed, and you know it.

- Didn't we bury the hatchet? - You buried the hatchet.

It was my favorite hatchet, and I never found it.

All right, since you have no ax to grind,

I'll be taking that ferret.

Lieutenant, you're gonna let this happen?

Sorry, Tribeca, we have no choice.

It's Fish and Game's game.

Its a multimillion dollar underground ferret operation,

and we could bust the whole thing right now.

Why don't you go back to solving people murders

and leave the real police work to us?

You son of a... It's not worth it, Tribeca!

Oh, you need your partner to bail you out?

You son of a... it's not worth it!

Is this the kind of precinct you run?

You son of a... hey, hey, it's not worth it.

You better watch out, or I'll have to take your partner to animal control.

You son of a...

It's not worth it! Nice try, Missy, you already went.

Back of the line.

LAPD. Hmm. Bunch of animals.

Oh, excuse me.

Without that ferret, we're back to square one.

Oh, you mean this ferret?

How did you...

I'm pausing so you can tell us.

It was simple.

Oh, excuse me.

Nice work, Scholls.

It's okay, sweetie, you're safe now.

Ow! You son of a...

It's not worth it! It's not worth it! It's not worth it!

Dr. Edelweiss will be able to tell us

where this ferret came from.

Computer: What can I do for you, Detectives Tribeca and Julie?

Sorry, Gails.

Sorry, Geles.

Sorry, Gills.

Sorry, Gladstone.

Oh, this isn't more efficient at all.

What can I do for you?

We're hoping you could tell us about our furry little friend.

Oh, very well. Greg!

Yeah?

We were actually talking about the ferret.

Sorry, Greg. Never mind.

Sure, I understand.

We need some help figuring out where this thing is from.

He's not a thing. He's a living creature.

More specifically, it's a rare Himalayan soft belly.

Now, lucky for us, ferrets eat everything in their path,

so all we have to do is look inside its belly,

find out where it's been, and possibly,

that might lead us to the smuggler.

Well, let's cut this bad boy open, then.

You can't cut open this ferret. He's a human being.

Actually, he's a she. You can tell by her teats.

Don't worry, Detective. As the expression goes,

there's more than one way to look inside a ferret.

I spent some time as a veterinary gynecologist.

I don't think that's a thing.

Yes, and a judge agreed with you.

Now, let's see what we have here.

Looks like she ate an apple.

That's good. Apples, apples, apples.

Uh, apples, orchard, farm, Granny Smith,

grandma, nursing home, soft food, applesauce.

Apples, apples, orchard, farm.

Granny Smith?

Grandma, nursing home,

soft food, applesauce, apples, farm.

Granny Smith, grandma, nursing home,

soft foods, applesauce, apples.

Let's just keep looking, shall we?

Hey, that's my badge.

And those are my handcuffs.

Are you guys looking at me?

Ooh, that's interesting.

I thought we had just one valuable ferret.

In fact, we have six. She's pregnant.

- Adorable. - Disgusting.

Six Himalayan soft bellies.

On the black market, in today's economy,

I would say that puts our mystery supplier out

roughly $193,850.

That's a lot of money for a sack of long rats.

It doesn't bring us any closer

- to figuring out who the supplier is. - Hey, what's that?

It appears to be a cufflink.

Zoom in.

F.B.

Looks like we found our first...

Lead.

I don't get it.

This guy runs an animal rights charity.

How could he get caught up in illegal ferrets?

I don't know, but I do know

that I have a lot of questions for Mr. Frontbut.

It is pronounced "Froont boot."

- Thank you for seeing us. - Mm.

Yes, my animal conservation efforts keep me very busy,

but it is my life's passion, or as we say in German...

Es ist eine arbeit der liebe!

Oh, such a beautiful language.

Danke. Mr. Frontbut.

"Froont boot." Fr...

Front? "Froont boot."

"Frountbut."

"Froont boot." "Frount."

"Froont boot." "Froont boot."

"Frount."

Frontbut. No, sir. Sir?

It's "froont boot."

Frontbut.

No, you're not making any effort to change the sounds.

- Mr. "froont boot." - Frontbut.

You wouldn't happen to know anything

about illegal ferret trafficking, would you?

No, no.

No, I have devoted my entire life to protecting animals,

not to exploiting them.

And for the record, I love ferrets.

I believe they deserve much better than to be pets.

That's very admirable, but you are aware that since the ban,

the price of illegal ferrets has skyrocketed.

Oh, yeah, it has...

Which is terrible.

Someone stands to make a lot of money