UnREAL

So this is a setup,

and I'm the old, desperate one?

Adam: Mary -- she took her own life.

This is just a very sad day.

Rachel: What am I prescribed for right now --

borderline or narcissistic personality disorder?

Because I'm, like, constantly getting them confused.

I'll get you into the final two,

And in return? You introduce me to your dad.

Maybe take a minority interest in a pro football team.

You can be everything my father says that you're not.

It's gonna be too much work

disappointing you every day, Ruby.

I may be falling in love with you.

And I want children.

Madison: Rachel, they're taking the car.

Coleman: Two black guys in a Bentley in this town?

That won't end well. -Exactly.

We should just call the cops.

Get out of the car. -All right, look...

-Wait. -Hands behind your back.

You don't know who I am. Listen.

I'm Rachel Goldberg!

I'm the one who called! Don't hurt him!

-Back up! -Don't hurt him!

This is a reality show.

How could this happen?

You don't know the half of it.

Coleman, you're done.

I happen to be -- -The showrunner?

Yeah, not anymore.

Mom?

Rachel.

Take the medicine, sweetheart.

That's how you get better.

I know that this has been a hard time for everyone.

After that ridiculous clip show that we had to air last week,

rumors are flying online.

But all the public knows

is that there was some sort of police incident.

Oh, is that what we're calling it?

Look, I don't like this any more than you do,

but we are not in the news business.

We are in the boobs business.

Okay? -And what about Rachel?

Rachel is fine.

[ Indistinct speaking over P.A. ]

Man: She was experiencing atypical symptoms...

Olive: ...and she doesn't seem to be responding.

...a shift to 450 milligrams of Eskalith.

That's quite aggressive.

Well, not if it works.

Quinn: I am the showrunner now,

and I don't want to hear another word about it.

Loose lips get waterboarded,

and their bodies get dumped in the desert.

Am I clear?

-Yeah. -Crystal.

Good.

Because we are going to have

some serious eyeballs on us this week,

and I want those eyeballs focused on what we do best,

which is romance!

So, we are going to take our love story,

and we are going to shove it down their throats

until they choke.

Let's go! Let's get out there!

Heads in the game!

Good talk, people. Good talk.

The girls are all asking about Darius, Quinn.

They're worried about him.

Yeah. What should we tell them?

Not a damn thing.

He's going to come back,

he's going to take them

on a helicopter ride into San Francisco,

dinner, dancing, and most importantly...

Romance. Romance.

So, go and make sure that the date is perfect.

Thank you.

So, you're just gonna leave Rachel

locked up in the loony bin with her mother, huh?

Her mother is the devil.

So, if Rachel called her,

things must have been pretty bad.

Right, and the devil's gonna make it better, then?

Quinn, you're really gonna leave her in there?

After what she did

and what I had to do for her to make this go away,

maybe she could use a little time off.

For a week, you wouldn't just pick up a phone and help her.

I'm sorry. You've been here for two months.

Rachel's issues go way back,

so you are an expert on absolutely nothing.

Quinn, I'm not saying I'm an expert on anything.

I'm just telling -- -Why are your lips still moving?

Your career as a television producer is over.

You had the chance, and you blew it.

You don't have a job here anymore, Coleman.

You're done.

Gary says that you get a paycheck and an office

until your contract runs out.

Well, that is all that you're going to get.

That is all.

So, why don't you go back to your little hidey-hole,

you privileged little prick?

What are you doing in here?

I'm so sorry.

I just -- It's my mom's birthday,

and I just wanted to send her a quick e-mail.

I'm so sorry.

Bullshit.

You were going through my computer.

What? Why would I do that?

I don't know, Yael. Why would you do that?

I think I should go. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

No, no, no. You're not going anywhere,

not until you tell me what you're doing

in my office on my computer.

You mean the office where they locked you away

because they think you screwed up "Everlasting"?

They're blaming the whole shooting on you.

They blew up your career.

So, why do you care?

Because I'm a reporter.

I'm working on a story called "Reality TV Kills."

-Are you kidding me? -No.

I've uncovered some explosive stuff.

That woman Mary

who jumped off the roof last year --

that was a murder.

Murder?

-Who's your source? -Jeremy.

I've got him on tape.

Jeremy.

Jeremy's a drunk.

He's a disgruntled employee.

He's completely unreli--

Look, you need to drop all of this right now

and just get out.

Or what? Excuse me?

I just saw footage of Romeo getting shot on your laptop,

footage which was supposed to have been

turned over to the cops.

I mean, if you turn me in,

I guess I'd have to turn you in, too...

unless you want to work together.

My editor says if I win this thing,

this piece will be unstoppable, and you could help me.

You can't deny there's a huge story right here.

I think you need to get out of here right now.

Coleman, we have to do something.

This place -- what they do -- it'll blow your mind.

Ugh!

I'm so bored.

I want to play a game.

Cricket. Rugby.

At this point, I don't even care.

How about the news? Romeo got shot.

What are people saying about that?

And you know cops always get a bad rap.

Quinn: All right, let's go, ladies.

Up and at 'em.

I want you shaved, saddled, and ready to ride

because "Everlasting" is back in business.

So let's go. Hip-hop.

-Are you serious? -As cancer.

There is a big date tonight with our boy in the city --

drinks, dancing, the works.

-Yes! Let's do this. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What, as if nothing happened?

I mean, how are people reacting?

They must be going nuts.

What about the footage?

We gave all the footage to the pole.

It's a P.R. nightmare for us and them.

No one wants it getting out, so it's not going to.

I'm sorry. That doesn't sit right with me.

Well, you want to know what sits right with me?

The non-disclosure agreement that you signed for the show.

So let's get back in the game.

-Yep. -Go.

All of you, put something on

that will make men want to have sex with you --

especially you.

Where the hell is Yael?

What are you doing here?

Well, you haven't answered my calls in a week.

Well, um, I have been a little busy.

Or avoiding me.

Look, I understand that my desire for progeny

might be a little unsettling.

Okay. I have just been very deep into it, okay?

It is not easy putting all of this

back together after a shooting.

Quinn, we're doing so well.

Why pretend?

Okay, look.

I mean, if we wanted kids,

we would have already had them by now,