Sex Education

Mmm!

Hi, I forgot the sock. Sorry.

Oh.

Oh God! Oh yeah! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Oh...

Morning.

- Morning, darling. - Hello, Joy.

You are making a noise this morning.

Hello, hello. What's up?

Bwaaaaah!

Yes, you are.

Waaaah!

Come on. Oh, what's the matter?

Hey, Mum.

- You all right? - I forgot why I opened the fridge.

You're... dressed. You going somewhere today?

I didn't tell you? I've got a job interview.

It's to host a new radio show about sex.

Well, do you think it's a good idea?

- To be going back to work? - Oh...

Oh, it's just cabbage leaves. It's all right.

I, uh...

I've got a blocked duct.

- They help. - Okay, well...

I just think it might be a bit soon.

I had a baby, darling. Not a lobotomy.

My agent thinks it's a good opportunity.

Coffee.

Right.

Oh, bollocks.

Do you mind popping to the shop with Joy while I'm gone and picking some up?

Maybe some... wet wipes, and... I'll send you a list.

Well, actually, Mum, it's my first day at the new school, remember?

- What, today? - Uh-huh.

- I totally forgot. - Yeah, I should get going.

But if you need me to stay...

No, we'll be fine. Don't be silly.

We'll be fine! I'm fine!

We'll be fine.

- Bye. - Bye. Don't worry.

Fuck!

- Morning. - Good morning.

Wow, that's a new one.

- You look amazing. - Thank you... look tired.

What were you up all night doin'?

Hey. Heeeey!

- Uh-huh! - Uh-huh!

- Uh-huh! - Uh-heeeey!

Very profesh.

- So it's my new free... - Uh-huh.

...totally transparent sex therapy clinic.

- Ah! - You were right.

I don't wanna give up helping people.

And I know it sounds silly, but I think therapy is my calling.

Oh-ho-ho!

- Oh, I'm so proud of you. - Thanks, man.

Aww! Come on.

- I am shitting myself. - Why?

Well, what if people think that we're losers again?

We're not.

We're literally different people now. We're confident. We know who we are.

- Mmm. - We're the cool guys.

Mmm.

Oh.

This is my voice six months on testosterone.

List of pros. My eyebrows are bushier.

I have some facial hair coming in, which feels amazing.

Shoulders getting broader.

Cons. Still sweating a lot and have some dry skin patches.

My sex drive is out of control.

Three point five.

Had better.

Ooh!

Aah!

We might...

need to start gettin'...

the bus.

So I was texting Maeve.

- She sent me a nude. - What?

Oatcake! Oh my God! That's huge!

- I haven't responded yet. - Are you mad?

- Stop yelling! - No! You have to send one back.

- There's sexting etiquette! - Yeah...

- You can't leave her hanging. - Okay! I know! I know! I've...

I took a load of pictures.

And I just didn't send any. I hated them.

- I don't like nudes. I... I feel anxious... - Oh my God. I don't get it.

I send dick pics all the time. No big deal.

Who are you sending them to?

Oh, I've been on a couple of dating apps!

But all the hot, interesting people live so far away.

But there's this gay night at the Labour Club.

- You wanna come? Be my wingman? - Sure.

- Yay! - Yeah, I will come.

But what should I wear?

Um, preferably something without baby sick.

Do I have b... Ugh! Why didn't you say anything?

- Because it's very funny. - No, it's not!

It's dripping down my back!

- Wow! - Wow!

Oh my God!

- Hmm! - Aha!

- Hah! - A-hey!

Heh!

- It's like Amsterdam. - But in space.

And everyone seems happy.

- Hi. - Hi.

And queer.

No stopping in the bike lane.

Super queer.

- "No stopping in the bike lane." - "Wah wah wah!"

Come on!

- Oh my God, Aimee! - Hey!

Hiya, crumpets.

- I haven't seen you in... - Oh my gosh!

This is a no-car zone.

- Where am I supposed to park, then? - There's a car park across the road.

Um...

- Uh, she was rude. - Yes!

Are you okay?

- Yes. Yeah. - Yeah?

I mean, thank you for saving my life!

- I'll see you around. - Bye.

Well. Ruby's back.

Aah.

I wonder where Anwar and Olivia are. They usually move as a pack.

I think they went to Taylor's Secondary in Northbury.

Oh.

- Don't you usually have a car? - Yeah, I do.

I let a family of squirrels live in it, and now it's having loads of repairs.

Shall we?

The time has come.

- Come on, Eric. - I know.

- Gonna be late. - I'm coming.

- Whoo! - Well, this is different.

Oh my God! Is that a slide?

Wow!

This is kind of cool.

- Apparently, it's all student-led. - Yes!

Look at that!

- Right. I could say that... - Yeah.

Have you played before?

My God. And all the gays, everywhere.

Starting a new school in the middle of the year is statistically very bad.

That's why me and Eugene called things off.

We need to focus and stay serious about the future.

Can I have all the Moordale students over here, please?

- Okay. Hello, everyone. - Car park's miles away.

- Can't do that every day. Not in heels. - Sh, sh. Don't interrupt the Coven.

Hello. Welcome to Cavendish College. My name is Abbi.

This is Aisha and my boyfriend, Roman.

And we're your sixth form reps.

We have got some tablets to hand out to you all.

Ooh, that's a bit fancy.

You will find your schedule, uh, on our social media platform, Dolly.

It doesn't look like I'm in the top sets. How do you rank your students?

We don't.

We believe if one person does well, then we all do well.

- Aww! - We have mock exams.

That makes zero sense.

- Why don't we talk about it later? - But it doesn't make sense.

Anyway, grab your Cavendish tote bags and your reusable water bottles.

Then I'll take you on a little tour. Follow me!

There's daily meditation, silent discos,

sound baths, and yoga on offer

'cause we believe your mental health matters.

Oh, and Cavendish is a gossip-free zone.

Talking behind each other's backs is not a healthy learning environment.

We encourage students

to help with cleaning, gardening, and community fundraising.

Our motto is, "Why be mean when you could be green?"

Christ.

Our facilities are obviously gender-neutral.

We just want everyone to feel comfortable in themselves.

Awake, and see that people are sleeping.

It's time to bang your drum

and make them open their eyes.

Speakers' Corner is here for students to express themselves freely at any time.