Always a Bridesmaid

¶¶

By now, you've all read the

headlines.

"Millennials are altering the codes of marriage, and we've

been all warned.

Millennials, dismiss matrimony at your own peril."

I've heard it all, and I call BS.

Look, you can blame our generation for a lot of things,

but if the wedding industry is in a slump, my friends didn't

get the memo.

We are all in, even if we don't know exactly what we're doing.

I should know.

I'm a pro at bridal madness.

No, I'm not a wedding planner.

I'm a real expert, a bridesmaid -- always a

bridesmaid.

Together: Cheers!

Whoo!

Here's to lucky number 13.

Whoo-hoo!

¶¶

Mr. Henry.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, you are.

Okay. Here you go.

Most consistent male presence I have in my life, and you're a

fish.

It figures.

Morning.

Good morning, Ms. James.

Good morning, Chanel.

Love that topknot.

Corina James.

Terrence.

- Want to hear what I dreamed of last night?

- Not if it has anything to do with me, Cardi B, and a 40-ounce.

- Oh, come on, those are a few of my favorite things.

Go somewhere.

Good morning.

Good morning!

Oh, hey, baby.

Look at you.

Oh!

He is waiting for you.

- How are you doing today, Ms. Ruby.

Same as I ever was.

How was that wedding this weekend?

Same as it ever was.

Oh, gosh.

You know, I remember when I was your age.

I was a bridesmaid many a time, too -- never caught a bouquet,

never got a ring.

But I have my health, my worth, my 401(k), and

King Jesus!

Won't he do it?

"Hallelu"!

So I am a-okay.

- Well, I have something for you.

Me?

Happy birthday.

- You remembered.

- Oh, it's not every day that you turn 25. - Well...

- We need to celebrate these things.

I just love you.

I love you.

- Get in there before he starts yelling again.

In my day, it was impolite to

enter an office without knocking, especially one

occupied by the president of the company that you work for.

- Well, my father says life's too short to follow rules.

That's how he built a publishing company from the ground up.

- Largest minority-owned publishing house...

Both: ...in the Midwest.

- Yeah, well, as you just said --

I know, Dad.

You wanted to see me?

Yeah, um, yeah.

Um, this quarter is proving busier than the fall.

We can't piggyback on beach reads.

We have to slide our heavy hitters in while the book-buying

mode is stable.

- Dad, you know I can't oversee all of that.

My new job starts next quarter.

Don't be selfish.

Just tell them that you need more time.

I don't need more time.

- I need an editor, and I need a damn good one, and you're

almost a prodigy.

There's always Carl.

Carl is a twit.

Dad, Carl's your son.

And he's a twit. Okay?

He's book smart, but he's a damn idiot.

That boy is in Brazil right now, trying to find himself again.

Baby, baby.

I just need you to see me

through this period, that's it, and then you can go be, you

know, a, um...

Copy editor, Dad.

You know the title.

- Well, I can give you a better title, and I can give you more

money than the Sun-Times.

Tribune.

Whatever.

Downward dog.

Just follow my lead.

Mm.

So you didn't say yes?

- - Didn't say anything.

I mean, it's not like he listens to me anyway.

- Classic nesting syndrome.

You stay in a safe, unfulfilling job at your father's company so

that you can place the blame on him for being stuck there.

- Okay, can we change the subject and get off of me?

- That's the problem, girl -- you need someone to get up on you.

You crazy.

No, no, no, no, no.

She needs to finally practice radical self-love.

At some point, you have to stop people-pleasing and please

yourself.

- Yeah, girl, when you got a minute to yourself late at

night, run that showerhead full blast.

- Yes. - O-Okay.

Yes, maybe that, but, also, you need to start dating.

And they're right about you.

Even in college, you were on every sorority committee, doing the most.

Mm-hmm.

- Trust me, it's okay to say no sometimes for your own sanity.

- When is wedding number 14, anyway?

- This weekend, and I don't keep count.

Girl, please.

- Pace yourself 'cause my wedding is coming up, and it's

gonna be lit!

Well, show me some of your

poses you gonna be doing at the party.

Oh, okay, I got one for ya.

This right here I call "The Lil' Kim."

A good marriage is dependent

upon many things, but the first prerequisite is a strong bond of

friendship...

- Is it me, or is this dress getting tighter?

I love it.

This fabric's got me snatched.

Snatched?

I can't breathe.

I can't -- I can't -- - Oh, oh!

Oh, sorry.

You okay?

- Just like to make a quick toast.

I have known Kenny for about 10 years -- actually, ever since I

took his starting position on the football team.

My bad, bro.

It's all right.

- Seriously, man, you've done good.

I mean, you couldn't have found a more beautiful and caring

woman to begin your life with.

So, raise your glasses.

Wait.

Don't lift your glass yet.

- We wish you all nothing but happiness.

Salud.

Salud.

Hey, girl, hey.

Hey.

I'm so glad you're okay.

You saw that?

Girl, everybody saw that.

You were kind of on display.

- I just need to catch my breath -- literally.

Good luck in that dress.

- Who's that guy over there, the best man?

Mm. That's Mark Randall.

Fine, ain't he?

- He's just -- He looks so familiar.

You know him.

He went to Hampton with us.

Ohh, really?

He's an accountant now.

Girl, he making much bank -- I'm talking paid.

He moved to Chicago two months ago, and he already lookin' at

lofts, girl, in the Gold Coast area.

Gold Coast!

- Janelle, how do you know that kind of stuff?

- Girl, I believe in fiscal responsibility.

And your boy secures the bag, okay?

- That can't be her. - Yes.

She and Tracy were in the same sorority.

Now, Corina was the queen of the stuck-up crew.

Yeah, but not without reason.

I mean, even almost falling on her ass, she still looked good.

- Ohh, you still nursin' that, uh, that crush, I see.

Negro, please.

I ain't never had no crush on Corina Blakeston.

- Okay, well, I'm-a leave you alone to rewrite history.

Ha!

You hear that?

That's my wife calling.

Don't that sound good?

"Wife."

- Do you want me to reintroduce y'all?