The Replacement

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- Oh! - Oh, Jesus Christ!

_

Oh!

Congratulations, you pulled it off. 12 million.

12.2.

This is going to transform the practice, do you realise?

New toilets.

New everything. New us.

New you.

Thank you so much for believing in me.

She took you on for a bet.

Out, you!

Thank you.

No, thank you.

Thanks! Whoops!

They're making me a senior associate.

Yes! About time.

Hm.

How much?

I don't know. She wanted to talk to me when I'm sober.

I might have to do a few more hours.

You're going to invent the 30-hour day.

Oh, I love the smell of puke in the morning!

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You measured up the corner office yet?

Hm. No rush.

The client hasn't changed his mind?

You haven't.

Well, give me a clue.

Hairballs?

Oh, my god.

That's what I said.

Really?

Seriously?

Ellen!

It's not yours.

Well, that's a relief.

I can't believe this is happening to us.

It's happening to me. You've got another seven months.

Take your time.

So, are you ready for the next ten years?

I'm pregnant.

Yeah, I am, though.

Pregnant.

Well, that's fantastic!

Wha... It's not a complete accident, though, is it?

- You can't ask that! - Why?

Oh, no, no, I want... I want a baby. I just, um...

I think I could have picked my time a bit better.

Well, I gather the thing about babies is that you don't

get to pick your moment.

But congratulations... that's brilliant news.

It's not totally brilliant for us, is it?

You can't very well put the library on hold, while I change nappies.

No-one's taking anything away from you. The baby's a bonus.

Hey, do we have any of that Champagne left?

And some orange juice for...

You telling anyone?

No!

...someone with a bad hangover.

Yes!

Come here.

_

You waited till you started pouring concrete to tell me.

- Congratulations. - Thank you very much.

She's not going anywhere.

Aye, she better not. She's the one we bought.

This is your baby, eh? Your other baby.

I'm having twins, exactly.

- When are you off? - Eight months. So, four months' time.

But I'll be overlapping my maternity cover

so you won't even notice I'm gone.

- We've already started interviewing. - It'll be seamless.

Bollocks.

You're irreplaceable.

I wouldn't really call it a practice.

It was just me and a friend from Leeds and an intern.

Plus an overdraft.

We only won the Hyatt award

because a couple of the big hitters were disqualified.

Do you remember that ban on curves

the Government brought in at the last moment?

Yes, I remember that now, but I think you're being too modest.

It's a very prestigious piece of furniture, the Hyatt.

How many have you got?

Three. Two are mine, but the other one...

Are you going to pretend it was an easy field that year?

No, I worked my arse off for that.

You were a bit of a prodigy.

Oh, right place, right time.

People are always looking for the next hot young thing.

Not today, I hope.

You're still hot.

Glad someone said that.

Um, you've been working part-time for quite a few years now.

How do you feel about getting properly stuck back in?

I'm absolutely ready. My daughter's ten now.

I just never felt comfortable before. I did think I'd be back way

before now, but I don't believe in fighting what your body tells you.

And what does your body tell you?

I'm ready.

It's only for a couple of months.

She thinks you'll be away a lot longer than that.

Maybe she's right.

I'll fall in love with this baby and realise how boring you are.

Another friend bites the dust.

No, she's different from me. I like that.

Hm. We saw better candidates.

She had a better start than any of us.

If she's willing to pick up where she left off, I don't see a problem.

And she needs a break.

Aw, you're getting all mumsie already.

So, I know it's still months away, but just anything at all you need

just ask and I'll get it sent over, so you can hit the ground running.

Right, thanks. Yeah, I was going to ask, actually,

I'd love to do a day a week at the office,

unpaid, just to find my way around.

I wanted to bring it up in the interview, but I didn't

want to sound too creepy.

It's not creepy. I just... You won't need to do that.

Well, that's fine. I can do it from home,

if you don't want to be too crowded.

Look, we will make sure that you've got plenty of time to shadow me.

Don't worry about it.

Well, this is really outstanding.

You found a client with some taste

or you beat it into him.

Where did you get that?

From Lucy. Was that OK?

Yeah, it's fine. Do you mind if we just don't do it here, though?

Yeah, sorry. I'm a bit over-excited.

No, it's great, it's nice to see.

It's been a while, a project this big.

So, how are you managing your return?

Oh, you know, family, childcare, denial. How about you?

Well, my husband's taking a step back.

Caris had me for the first ten years. Now, I'm all yours.

Wow.

So, are your parents around to help?

Er, just his.

Brothers? Sisters? Sorry, that's really none of my business.

Oh, no, so... I'm sorry. Yeah, I've got a sister.

She's got two young kids, though, so I can't lean on her too much.

That's great. You've had experience.

Yeah, yeah, I've changed nappies, I've done sleep-overs,

I've taken them to A&E,

done everything pretty much, except breast-feed,

which... I know it's not the same when you can't give them back.

No, it's even better.

Honestly, you're about to have the time of your life.

Kay doesn't have kids, so she doesn't get it.

I know I've got you to thank for this.

Everyone loved you.

You'll learn this pretty fast, but, us mothers,

we have to look out for each other, cos no one else will.

Shall we order?

Yeah.

I don't need all this, Rianne. I've got nowhere to put it.

You have no idea what you need.

I used to play with this.

Well, thank you, I will take really good care of it, OK?

And it's only for a loan.

I can't wait for you to turn up on my door,

weeping because you can't take any more.

Who could have too much of this?

Can you babysit this weekend?

We're not babies!

Yeah, no problem. I've got quite a lot of reading to do, anyway.

Before you know it, all you'll be reading is The Cat In The Hat.

- Ow! - That hurt?

Well, why don't you want to know the sex of our baby?

Normally, you want to micromanage every part of a project.

It doesn't mean I'm not excited!

Happy?

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Paula's husband.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Kieran.

- Ellen, nice to meet you. - The new boss, heard all about you.

- You sound too good to be true. - I'm not her boss. Is she OK?

Yeah, she just got held up at the library, so I said I could

come and swing round, I don't want to keep you waiting.

- Which library? - Your one.

- Right. - The construction site.

Yeah, she said she wanted to take some more photos.

Right, OK.

She not supposed to?

I was just going to introduce her to the client.

It's fine, it doesn't matter.

Oh, they've already met.

Oh, right, when?

Last week. Yeah, she's really got the bit between her teeth.

Well, that's great. There you go.

You know, she's really grateful for this opportunity. So am I.

How are you finding being at home?

Um, yeah...

Easier than I thought.

You didn't need to. I said I'd make it.

- Well, I thought it was urgent. - Well, I've hardly been here myself.