Todd and the Book of Pure Evil

You want to destroy the Book Of Pure Evil?!

No offense, Mr. Kolinsky, but you've been

in a semi-coma for the past year

and take it from us, the Book is bad news.

Yeah. It's like a wild mistress.

It can't be tamed.

It's true.

Todd almost became the Pure Evil One,

Curtis' demonic arm almost killed Todd,

and the homunculus almost killed Jenny.

I think what the Gang is trying to say, dad,

is the Book has to be destroyed, it's evil...

I've devoted my life to this thing!

The Book is just one part of the Prophecy.

Why don't you just tell us what the Prophecy is?

The Prophecy is...so complex that your immature minds

couldn't possibly understand it!

Now, as the only adult in this Gang...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

Who said that you're in the Gang?

I say I am!

You all need me.

You, Todd, especially. I'm the only one

that can help with this Pure Evil One business.

You know what? I don't need anyone.

Know why? 'Cause I'm my own dude.

Hold on, maybe my Dad...

Jennifer, what did I teach you about not interrupting?!

Don't call me Jennifer! Nobody calls me that!

Jennifer...

Jenny is short for Jennifer?

Hannah, you're an intelligent, strong young woman.

Talk some sense into them, sweetcheeks.

I respect your credentials, Mr. Kolinsky,

but it seems your perspective on the Book

runs opposite to ours.

And I'm uncomfortable with you calling me sweetcheeks.

Dude! That's my girlfriend!

Not cool!

No offense, but you're kind of super old.

Hey, my Dad's not that old!

Uh, yeah he is.

Look at how high he wears his pants.

AND he's got a cane.

The last thing this Gang needs is a cripple.

Not to mention, he's always going on about buffets.

Hey! Buffet is a respectable amount of food

for a reasonable price. If you kids can't even

understand that, then there's no hope for you!!!

You don't want me in your Gang? FINE!

You'll regret this, you idiots!

Dad, wait!

Douche!

Excuse me.

Ugh! Ugh!

God damn kidney stones...

Destroy the Book? Those idiots!

If only I could find a way to convince them otherwise...

Ugh...

Psst... Hey, Grandpa.

My friends and I are trying to have a romantic moment here.

Could you masturbate somewhere else?

Thanks, man.

Planto mihi... tener virile... quod connubialis... iterum!

Bye!

Oh, that's right. I'm cool.

Oh yes, you are.

Todd & The Book Of Pure Evil S02E03 "Daddy Tissues"

Do you guys think, that, like, maybe

we were too hard on my Dad?

Are you kidding? No offense, Jenny,

but your Dad's kind of an asshole.

I gotta go with Todd on this one.

I have to concur, Jenny.

I think he has very questionable intentions.

You guys don't know him like I know him.

He yelled at you.

He doesn't listen to anything you say.

He called you a name you hate.

But that's what all Dads do, guys!

Hey Gang. What's shaking?

Uh, who are you?

Rufus Newman. You're a dogtwat.

What'd I ever do to you?

Yesterday you asked Hannah and I to have

a three-way with you in the bathroom!

Dude!

That's my girlfriend! Not cool!

So not cool!

You stay away from our women, dude!

Shit!

Mmmm! Mmmhhmmm!

Listen up...

If I'm going to become the Pure Evil One,

I need to know more about this Prophecy.

So, let me guess, none of you know

anything about the Prophecy?

Your father did. But he's...

Dead. Yes. Very helpful.

The reporter. Pat Kolinsky.

He knows about the Prophecy.

That's why we kidnapped him.

Good, now we're getting somewhere.

Unfortunately we thought we used truth serum on him

but it was actually rat poison and he fell into a semi-coma.

Why do we keep them on the same shelf?

We have to re-kidnap Pat Kolinsky.

"We," meaning "I."

Because you useless farts can't do anything

and I have to do everything by myself.

Stupid geezers!

He likes to nap a lot in the afternoons...

'Cause he's old...

He's not old...

He's old!

Look how high he wears his pants.

Hey, Gang.

What's shaken?

Who are you?

Warren Chopra!

How dare you show your face, after what you did!

What did I do?

Don't act like you don't remember!

Grade 9! Science Fair!

I was on the cusp of creating a new form of bacterial life!

And you sabotaged it!

Did I?

Dude! That's my girlfriend!

Not cool!

Yeah! So not cool!

You stay away from our women, dude.

Whoa, Hannah. You're really angry.

Warren Chopra brings out the worst in me.

This isn't gonna be as easy as I thought.

Re-Elect Devon for Student Council President!

Hey, guys!

Who are you?

Devon Morrow!

You're that guy!

I hope I can count on your support on election day.

Especially you, Jenny.

Oh, Devon!

Vote for Devon!

Time to be impeached, Mr. President!

By impeached, I mean...

SKINNED!

Hi, Daddy! Where are you?

It's Jenny. Your daughter.

Usually it takes calling my dad

six or seven times before he calls me back.

It's no big deal.

Maybe he's ignoring you. 'Cause he's a giant douche.

You're talking about the guy who took me

out for ice cream when I was little.

Even though I'm lactose intolerant.

What do you want, dickbag?

Dickbag...

Tell me, do you just take random obscenities

and pair them up with equally random nouns?

"Cock Lamp"...

"Ass Taxi"...

"Shit Rooster".

Is that the way it works?

Pffft, no, we can do way better than that.

Call somebody a "Shit Rooster".

What do you want anyway, Atticus?

I want to know where your father is.

And you're going to tell me.

Stay the hell away from my Dad!

If you don't tell me where he is I'll have you all expelled.

And then I'll have you institutionalized.

Mr. Murphy...

I couldn't help but overhearing you

threatening these fine students for no good reason.

Go away, Devon...

You realize that as student council president,

I have lunch with the Principal twice a week.

Yeah, so do I... Twice a year.

I'm sure he'd love to hear all about

your questionable guidance counselling behavior.

Well, I never did that.

Whatever it is you're implying.

Who do you think the Principal's going to believe?

His sniveling weasel of a guidance counsellor

or me, a young, dynamic, attractive student president?

Wow. Well said, Devon.

No wonder you're school president.

Guys, we have to find my dad before Atticus does.

Don't worry, Jenny.

We'll find him.

"We?"

First, I'd just like to say I'm a big fan of you guys

and the good work you're doing at this school.

We don't know what you're talking about.

Sure you don't. Sweetcheeks...

You think I haven't noticed that whenever

something not dope goes on around here,

you guys are in the middle of it?

I think it's cool!

Cool like how I wear my pants so low, see?