Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Joe, you hear that?

No. Hear what?

I thought Big Red wasn't scared of anything.

You getting the heebie-jeebies, friend?

I am the heebie-jeebies.

Remind me why Junior G-man's coming along for a ride?

I'm just here to make sure that whatever's in that box

and one pretty lady

make another 600 miles to Fairfield without any trouble.

So what's in the box?

Should I tell him?

A funnel-web spider.

Probably the most deadly arachnid in the world.

Only this one seems to house a plausibly

demonic entity.

You're yanking my chain, right?

That's not the half of it.

There's all manner of bizarre phenomena

associated with this creature.

Temporal, gravitational

I mean things you wouldn't believe.

I barely believe it and I've cataloged the

photographic evidence in detail.

It's been kept sedated

in a state of sensory deprivation

until we can analyze it in a more controlled setting.

Dammit, you're not hearing that?

Hellboy, are you okay?

What's happening?

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh!

-You alright? -Yeah, yeah.

Hey, lay dead a sec.

Ah! Oh fuck!

Oh shit.

Hellboy, Hellboy, look.

I like them better small.

Don't let him get away. Don't let him get away.

It's

Oh crap.

Who builds a tunnel to hell in the middle of the woods?

Some kind of ventilation shaft.

Coal mining country.

Appalachia.

Well that's just swell, we lost the cargo.

After you.

Come on

He, he, he.

Joe?

I'm okay.

Field work, huh?

It's not much like research, is it?

I just don't get it.

Spider what made it go crazy like that?

Something in these hills.

Trees,

and the dirt.

Something haunted.

Evil.

This place has the stink.

I smell pine needles?

Underneath that, Joe.

Madness.

Death,

called out to Daddy Longlegs.

Woke him up.

How do you know that?

Dark things call to dark things.

I heard it too.

We are so screwed.

Screwed, chewed, and tattooed.

We need, we need to find a phone. We need to call this in.

Yeah.

Ma?

Around these parts I'm not sure which one of us stands out more.

It's the devil come up the road.

No it ain't.

Get!

It's that red fella from the United Nations.

I've seen him once on the cover of Life magazine.

United Nations?

Look at you

little oriental doll.

Ain't you a purdy thing.

Um

I'm Special Agent Song, ma'am.

We've been in an accident; do you happen to have a phone?

Sure we do.

It's in back next to the color television

and the chicken that shits out silver dollars

- and the Mercedes Benz. - Alright.

May as well come inside.

Ma'am, get these on some modern rags,

doll, they're all cut up and bloody.

Oh no, that's not necessary.

What happened to him?

He ain't moved a muscle since I found him.

Anyone thought of taking him to the doctor?

You guys have doctors, right?

Or you like him as a rug?

Truck's out.

Anyhow ain't no doctor gonna do him no good.

- Why's that? - Cause he witched, that's why.

Witched?

Child didn't have no sense.

Kept teasing that Cora Fisher.

Throwing rocks at her window,

leaving dead things for her to find.

Told him he better stay away from her.

Everyone knows Cora Fisher be a witch.

You said Cora Fisher?

Tom Ferrell. I will be damned.

I ain't dead yet.

Never thought we'd see you around these parts again.

How many years it been, Tom?

A spell, I reckon.

I found this in the doorstep.

Hmm.

Let's see it.

Ahh.

Yeah.

Witch ball.

Yeah, I've I heard of these.

That's what made that mark there, ma'am.

You said Cora Fisher did this?

Why, you know her?

Used to.

She wasn't a witch back then.

Take off that boy's clothes and boil

them, calling it out Cora Fisher's name.

If she's one that witched him, that'll bust the spell.

You going up there, ain't ya?

Yeah, reckon I will.

First I'm going to stop by and see my mama.

Sorry, Tom.

Figured you knew.

She's, uh

she's dead?

Long time now.

Her brother come up to fetch her. Took her back East.

Oh, ain't that, uh

what about my daddy, then?

Never did see much of him.

Not once since you left.

Guess he finally drunk himself to death.

He weren't ever much good.

Well, friends,

ma'am, I'll be on my way.

Just a second, Mr. Ferrell.

Um, was it?

It's Tom.

Tom,

this witch, Cora

you might say, eh

this sort of thing falls under our

sphere of expertise.

- Do you mind if we come along? - Excuse us. Tom.

Hey. What are you doing?

- Field work. - Field work?

You're lucky to be alive.

I'm taking you back to headquarters,

where you belong,

in the library, spilling coffee on your weird old books.

There's something going on here.

You said it yourself.

'This place has the stink.'

Yeah, it does.

It's exactly why you shouldn't be here.

Look, I I need to understand it.

Okay? And not from some weird old book, but for real.

Like you do.

Besides, are you really in such a

hurry to tell Broom we lost the cargo?

If y'all are coming along you best come along.

Ohh.

Who's that there?

Oh,

look at you

all pie-eyed.

What you come see Grammy Oakum for?

Huh?

What's that?

Oh,

they want to know how to make a witch ball.

Well, I'll tell you.

It's easy peasy,

you dance around,

buck naked

calling out: blood of weasel,

tail a rat,

guts and bladder of a black cat,

buzzard eggs and baby's nails,

foot of toad frog,

brain of bat.

And you put a pot to boil

and it all goes in.