The Nest

# Ae fond kiss, and then we sever

# Ae fareweel, alas, for ever

# Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee. #

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello. What about Gordon? Gordon?

Are you actually suggesting Gordon?

Well, it's better than Hamish.

Yes, no, it's good. You've nailed that, especially if it's a girl.

We're going to need to agree on something.

I think I'm lost. Where are you going?

Student recital in Bishopbriggs.

Where's Bishopbriggs? I'm not telling you. Dan.

You're lost, it's late, you might as well just come home.

Right. You are being no help. I'll call you back in a sec.

See you.

# Ae-ae-ae

# Fare-thee-weel. #

Shit.

I didn't see you.

It was never going to happen, never! Do not touch me!

Don't you touch me. Kaya. OK, put the bottle down.

We're OK here. You need to stand back.

Just...

Look, just drop the bottle, OK, and you can jump in my car

and we can go and get your knee checked out.

I'll take you. Kaya!

Are you OK?

Right, you can let me out here.

The infirmary's just 10 minutes down the road.

I'm not going to hospital. Stop the car. Stop the car!

Look, if you won't let me take you to A&E,

then you really should go yourself.

Here, take a taxi.

Erm...

And that's to get you home again.

# Hey, baby

# Once again... #

Where were you?

I'm your social worker, not your granny.

Transitions are hard right enough, but it's not a good start, is it?

What did you do?

DOOR SLAMS

Kettle, toaster, toastie machine.

The secret's to butter the bread on the outside so it doesn't singe.

You need to get that looked at.

Right. You'll see us once a week, every week.

Once a week, every week. OK?

And you know where we are if you need us.

ROUGH COUGHING

The world's your oyster.

SHE COUGHS

DOOR CLOSES

Right, I'm off.

See you tonight? Mmm-hmm.

You all right? I hit her.

She ran out in front of you.

I know where your head's going, but just don't.

This is nothing to do with Olivia, all right?

It was an accident. Forget about it.

Her fault, not yours.

I'm off to get the boys. Don't forget Sammy has rugby.

Yep.

# I only lie when I love you

# I only crawl when I hit the ground

# You only cry when I love you

# I only cry... #

Rugby's for dicks, wee man. Posh boys are rubbish at football.

No telling your mum, right? I'll drop you at school straight after.

What the hell kind of a name is Campus Eastside?

Nothing to do with me. They wanted my money, not my ideas.

Gregor, these are my nephews, Jack and Sammy.

If either of you want to get into journalism, stay clear of him!

Mr Souter, no? Hi, boys. All right?

Right, everyone, if I can just take you this way, please.

Welcome to Campus Eastside.

15 hectares of state-of-the-art facilities designed to divert

local at-risk youth away from drugs and serious organised crime,

supported with a generous donation from local businessmen Dan Docherty.

What do you think, boys? Good as you thought it would be?

Amazing. It's amaze.

Yes!

Relaxing into it.

Now bring it down really low.

Start bringing it back up.

Yes. Yes!

Yes!

Yeah, you can smile!

OK, coming towards the end.

Stay in time.

Ready?

Yes! That was brilliant! Come on, you can clap yourselves.

Her knee's blown up. Where there's blame there's a claim.

She ran out in front of me. That's what you say, but what's she saying?

There's this scam that goes on, right.

They chuck eggs at people's windscreen so you can't see a thing,

putting your wipers on just makes it worse, so you have to stop.

Then they've got you.

Come on. I'll take you to hospital.

Did you make up? What?

With the guy you were fighting with.

Is he your boyfriend? My boyfriend?

The state of him? He's like 30 with a face like a ripped flag.

Who is he, then, to you? Fuck all.

You're just a job to these people at the end of the day.

I'm sorry I can't come in. I've got something.

But ask for Hilary Rankin. She's a senior nurse.

She's my sister-in-law.

You should have come in on the night.

That's why you're in agony now.

Cos you've put weight on it.

OK. It could be a good few hours before we get you X-rayed.

Just sit tight and a nurse will call for you.

Shit.

Erm... Somebody'll be back shortly.

It's not broken but what you will need is physio.

And given the waiting list here I recommend you get in touch

with whoever smashed into you and get them to pay for it.

If you just wait there, I'll get you a letter for their insurer.

Hilary Rankin? She works here. She's a senior sister.

Are you a relative? Her brother.

And she's our surrogate, she's carrying our baby.

Come this way, please.

I'm sorry.

You shouldn't be here.

Come here, you.

Was it a boy or a girl?

I don't know.

It was too soon to tell.

Cos it was still so wee.

Will they not have any children now?

I don't know.

Whatever's meant to be will be, eh?

I understand. It wouldn't be fair on the boys. I'm so sorry.

Hilary has decided not to try again.

Her boys were upset and she didn't want to have to explain to them

if it happened again.

So we are where we are, but we've still got one frozen embryo left.

One more roll of the dice. And we've decided to go abroad.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

You can take it, we've got time. Thanks.

I'll just be a minute. I need to get this.

Hello.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think she was relieved. Hilary.

I felt that.

Because it's an extraordinary ask, isn't it?

You know, just extraordinary.

To, erm...

..bear a child for someone.

Sorry.

All right, neighbour?

Kian, but everyone calls me Doddy.

Are you from round here?

Me either. Well, I used to be, but then I went away for a few year.

If you know what I mean.

But all that's behind me now.

So what do you do

when you're not flinging toasters aff the top of buildings?

I'm going to be an entrepreneur.

Cool. Good for you.

You know that lassie that invented that bra, Michelle Mone?

Well, now she's a baroness or some fuck.

That's going to be me. Fucking brilliant. Put it there.

That's impressive. That's really good.

I've got kind of a Moroccan stew

thing on the go downstairs if you're hungry.

Nah, you're all right. I'm training to be a chef.

Well, it's not training. It's more like teaching myself.

Another night?

No.

I'm away.

What are you doing? Fuck.

Did you think I was trying to rob you?

I've got a meeting. I can't stop.

Look, I'm just going to come out with it.

I saw you.

In the hospital.

I saw what happened. I was there.

I just wanted to tell you that...

..I'll do it. Do what?

If that's what you need -

another lassie to carry your baby for you - then that can be me.

What's funny?

No, thank you.

Why?

Why did you knock me down?

Because you ran out in front of my car. No. Why me? Why your car?

I don't know, you tell me. Because I was meant to meet you.

Things happen for a reason. They just do.

It's been a week, OK.

Please don't come to the school again.

Hi, darling. Hi.

Where's Svetlana?

She's on her way back to Kyiv.

She's taken Yulia, Anya and that Nina with her.

She told me every time you walked past her you grilled her,

so they've all gone off to a wee dacha get over it.

A wee dacha?

One of them had a good idea, though. Thanks.

We should sack this off for a bit. Go on holiday.