Nip/Tuck - Second Season

Previously on Nip / Tuck:

Can I help you?

I'd like to test the paternity of my son.

I thought the answer would change my life.

Now I'm not sure that it has to, or that it should.

Just because you know doesn't mean that anybody else has to.

Gina tracked down Wilber's biological father.

A blood test confirmed paternity...

and now he's decided to align himself with her in the custody hearing.

Gina's had 292 sexual partners in the last three years.

She's not fit to be this baby's mother.

Yes.

Wilber, I baptize thee, in the name of the Father...

and the Son...

and the Holy Spirit.

I'd like to hold my son now, James.

He's not your son, Christian.

He's mine.

What are you saying, James? That you're taking Wilber home with you?

- Yes. - I won't let that happen.

I'm sorry, Christian.

Deeply sorry.

- Hey. - Hey, babe. I'm on my way.

We need anything?

I'm buried in the mysteries of the adrenal gland.

Can you pick up takeout for dinner?

I was thinking lime AJ's lime chicken.

Didn't we have lime chicken on Monday?

Then get garlic chicken.

How about the orange chicken?

Sean McNamara.

Oh, my God!

- Are you all right? - I'm fine.

- Is he all right? - Miraculously, yes.

Sean.

This is why I've been nagging at you...

to get a hands-free thing for your car phone.

It wouldn't have made any difference. The guy ran a stop sign.

It doesn't change the fact that you could have died.

Hey. This is my patient.

And he's my partner and best friend.

Why would I leave his mug in your inexperienced hands?

I have pubic hairs that are older than you.

You need to take a few days off.

- I can handle the farm. - Christian, I'm fine.

Is that why you let me put three sutures in without Novocain?

You're in shock.

It's a normal response to sudden trauma.

I know what shock is, Christian, and I'm not in it.

Then where's your other shoe?

Dr. McNamara, I'm Officer Strand.

I need to get a report, when you feel up to it.

We've got plenty of witnesses who say it was the other guy's fault.

- How is the other guy? - He didn't make it.

He died in the O.R. a few minutes ago.

That's a mistake. I saw him walk out of his car, he was fine.

Internal bleeding or something. I'm not a doctor.

Where's my baby, asshole?

I could call the cops.

This is kidnapping!

James has him. He's suing for full custody.

Full custody?

- From me? - Congratulations, Gina.

In your pathetic attempt to screw with me...

you handed Wilber to the one person who can actually take him from us.

He can't do that.

You can't take a baby away from its mother.

Oh, God!

Christian, what are we going to do?

Don't. This is your fault.

You're the selfish prick who didn't have the decency...

to turn the three of us into a real family.

Why aren't you at your lawyer's office fighting this?

It's a little late for that.

As you keep reminding me, I don't have any legal rights...

and I gave James enough dirt on you to have the state tie your tubes.

We're done. He's gone.

So that's it.

You're just packing up his shit and moving on?

Isn't that so typical?

Don't you have any feelings for Wilber?

If I were to stab you in the heart, would I hit ice?

- I love that kid. - Then why aren't you fighting for him?

You're so scared to get your dick lopped off...

that you won't stick it out for your own son.

- Hey. - Hey.

The sound is giving me a headache.

Sorry.

How are you doing?

Good. A few aches and pains.

When Mom told me you got into an accident...

I didn't breathe until I saw you with my own eyes.

If I wasn't wearing a seatbelt, you might've had to see me in a coffin.

That's why I'm always on your ass to buckle up.

What are you reading?

Consumer Reports Auto Safety Guide.

We're gonna have to get a new car.

Let me guess, another Audi, or a Volvo wagon.

There's nothing wrong with a car that's designed to extend your life.

Yes, there is, if that's all it's designed to do.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. We just see things differently, that's all.

You like the family Truckster...

and I like Christian's Ferrari.

Let's face it Dad, not even Christian can get laid in a Volvo wagon.

You think I'm a pussy.

- I didn't say that. - You're wrong.

I'm very bold.

Come on, Dad.

You could write a book on the dangers of mundane situations.

I'm the only kid I know of who never had the carpets...

in his house cleaned because of Yamaha Syndrome.

It's Kawasaki Syndrome and it's a very real issue.

Overly stripped carpet fibers are havens for dust mites.

Children can get very serious lung ailments from them.

Did you e-mail that car company?

Yes. I wanted to thank them.

Their safety features saved my life.

Must have been a pretty good e-mail. They're on the phone.

The car company generally forwards us any consumer feedback...

like that thank-you e-mail that you sent.

One of our guys flagged you as a local plastic surgeon...

and we figured we'd bring you in. We want your expertise.

I'm sorry. For what?

Climb in.

Dr. McNamara...

luxury cars are loaded with safety features.

You could fill this car with eggs...

and crash it at 40 miles per hour without breaking one shell.

- Impressive. - Yes, but not perfect.

That cut on your face, happens all the time.

Blunt force trauma caused by the airbags.

Muslin-skinned dummies can't tell us anymore...

what really happens to people when this safety stuff hits them.

Then what do you use?

The bodies come from a special donor program.

You read those crash-test results before you buy a car?

- Religiously. - So does everyone and their brother.

If we don't get our results in before publication...

we don't get in the report, and then people don't buy our cars.

We've got 10 days before the fall deadline...

and we've just lost our medical expert...

due to work-related stresses.

Okay. There are freak cases, one in a million...

when the bags balloon out in a funny angle...

and decapitate the driver.

It happened to one of the cadavers. Kind of spooked the doc.

What would the job entail?

Examining the bodies after we mash them.

Looking for the hidden bumps and bruises...

so that we can recalibrate our systems...

and make sure that we're treating our paying customers more kindly.

And we'd throw in a free car.

Top-of-the-line model.

Navigation, XM Satellite Radio, hands-free phone.

My wife would certainly love that.

Do you want to hit the B.O.D.?

- The B.O.D.? - Button of Death.

I named it.

You okay?

Brody, go get the doc something from the machine.

No. I'm fine.

But I'm sorry, Mr. Kintner, I'm gonna have to turn down your offer.

What happened? Rental car wouldn't start?

I told you to upgrade to the premium model.

I couldn't drive. I couldn't even put the car in gear.

I was frozen.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.

I didn't go to war, Christian. I had a car accident.

Your brain doesn't care if it was a bullet or a Yugo.

You faced death.

You know the worst part of it? How familiar it all feels.

Being afraid to even move.

I've felt that way most of my life.

- What are you afraid of? - I don't know.

Dying.

Is that all?

What's all that?

Wilber's stuff from my apartment. I'm giving it to charity.

Getting rid of evidence doesn't mean you can eradicate memories, Christian.

Deciding to raise a baby that wasn't my own...

was the worst mistake of my life.

And I have an impressive list.

I just want it all to go away.

Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

229 feet.

That's the distance between the bottom of the Hillary Step...

and the summit at 29,029.

That's where I donated my nose and half my fingers to Chomolungma...

the Mother Goddess of the World.

Mount Everest.

We got pinned down for two hours there in a storm.

Do you have a picture of what your face looked like...

before it suffered frostbite trauma?

Here.

They're what got me off the hill.

Just the thought of a graduation or a wedding dance...

can get you through anything.

Not to be too personal, Mr. Gideon, but with such a large family to support...

why did you risk the climb in the first place?