Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling.

But I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger.

He is going to take very, very good care of you.

Because if he doesn't, he's going back to the science lab!

P-P-Please, don't worry. Whatever you say.

Yes, ma'am. Aye, aye, sir. Okeydokey.

Why, I'll take care of him like he was my own brother.

Or my own sister. Ow!

Or my brother's sister. Or my second cousin

- who is twice removed. - Gobble. Cookie.

Or my ninth cousin, who is nine times removed from his place outside.

Or like my 15th cousin, who is 16 times removed from my mother's side.

Or like my 27th cousin, who is 37 times...

- Cookie. - Removed from my father's side.

Like my 17th cousin, who is 156 times removed from any side!

Aah!

I'll save you, baby!

Cookie.

Don't burn yourself, baby Herman. Whoa!

Whoa! Ah!

Whoa!

Whoa! Wow!

Whoa!

Who turned out the lights? It's dark in here.

Don't they pay their electricity?

What's happened? I'll find you, baby. Where are you?

- Where are you? - Cookie.

Where'd you go?

Roger: What's that smoke?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Cookie.

Wah!

Cookie.

I'm here, baby... aah!

Wah!

Cookie.

Wah!

Cookie. Ahh.

Man: Cut! Man 2: All right. That's it, guys.

Man: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!

What the hell was wrong with that take?

Nothing with you, baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect.

You were better than perfect. It's Roger! He keeps blowing his lines!

- Roger, what's this? - A tweeting bird?

"A tweeting bird?" Roger, read the script. Look what it says!

It says, "rabbit gets clunked, rabbit sees stars."

Not birds, stars!

Can we lose the playback, please?

- Roger, you're killing me! Killing me! - Cut the playback!

For cryin' out loud, Roger!

How many times do we have to do this damn scene?

Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, takin' a nap!

- Whoa! - Excuse me, toots.

My stomach can't take this. This set is a mess.

Clean this set up! And get him out of there, or sea! Him up in it!

- Lose the lights! And say "lunch"! - Man: Lunch!

That's lunch. We're on a half.

P-Please, raoul. I can give you stars!

Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time!

Roger, I dropped it on your head 23 times already.

- I can take it! Don't worry about me. - I'm not worried about you.

I'm worried about the refrigerator.

I can give you stars. Look. Look!

Look!

Roger: Please, raoul, I can do it, I swear.

Just give me another chance. Oh, come on, raoul.

Toons.

Roger: Look! Look, raoul! Look, raoul!

Come on, raoul!

Mr. Maroon, Mr. Valiant's here to...

He'll be right with you.

No, no, no! Wait until he gets to his feet.

- Then hit him with the Boulder. - Right, r.K.

How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?

Only there's no business like it, no business I know.

Yeah, and there's no business more expensive.

I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest baby Herman cartoon.

You saw the rabbit blowin' his lines.

He can't keep his mind on the work. You know why?

One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?

Nah, he's a toon.

You can drop anything you want on his head. He'll shake it off.

But break his heart, he goes to pieces, just like you or me.

Read that.

"Seen cooing over calamari with not-so-new sugar daddy,

"was Jessica rabbit, wife of maroon cartoon star Roger."

What's this got to do with me?

You're the private detective. You figure it out.

Look, I don't have time for this.

Look, Valiant, his wife's poison, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker.

I want you to follow her,

get me a couple of nice, juicy pictures I can wise the rabbit up with.

- Forget it. I don't work toontown. - What's wrong with toontown?

Every Joe loves toontown.

Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't goin'.

Whoa, fella. You don't want to go to toontown,

you don't have to go to toontown.

Nobody said you had to go to toontown anyway.

Have a seat, Valiant.

The rabbit's wife sings at a joint called the ink and paint club.

"Toon revue." Strictly humans only, okay?

So what do you think, Valiant?

Well?

The job's gonna cost you 100 bucks, plus expenses.

A hundred bucks?

- That's ridiculous! - So's the job.

All right, all right. You got your 100 bucks.

- Have a drink, Eddie. - I don't mind if I do.

- I got it. - Man: Careful, Dave.

- Dave: I got it! - Dave, you're gonna drop it!

Dave: I'm not gonna drop it! Man: You're droppin' it!

Watch it! Oh, no! Jeez!

Come on!

Kind ofjumpy, aren't you, Valiant?

- It's just dumbo. - I know who it is.

I got him on loan from Disney, him and half the cast of fantasia.

The best part is

they work for peanuts.

Well, I don't work for peanuts. Where's the other 50?

Let's call the other 50 a carrot to finish the job.

You've been hanging around rabbits too long.

Hmph!

W-Whoop! Whoop!

W-W-Whoa!

Oh, excuse me!

Oh, oh, oh!

Please, help. Oh, I'm sorry.

Get out of my way!

Oh, taxi? Oh, cab?

Right here! Right here!

What do I look like, a bank?

Wait for me!

- Come on! - Guys, wait up!

- Come on, hurry up! Come on, sig! - Hurry up!

- Hey, mister, ain't you got a car? - Who needs a car in la?

We got the best public transportation system in the world.

- Hey, so long. - See you later!

- So long, mister! - Thanks for the cigarettes.

- You bet. - Anytime.

- Hi, Harry. - Hey, Eddie. How's it going?

Okay. What you got for me?

The usual bills.

Hey, give back my ball!

Hello, fella.

- Hi, Harry. Are you okay? - Hey.

What's with Earl?

- Laid off? - A new outfit bought the red car.

Some big company called cloverleaf.

No kiddin'. They bought the red car?

Yeah, and put the poor guy on two weeks' notice. Cutbacks, they said.

Oh, well.

Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning, huh?

Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?

- Fish special? - My boss checks the books on Friday.

And if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till,

I'm gonna lose my job.

Don't bust a button, Dolores. You've only got one left.

50 bucks?

Where's the rest?

Well, it's only a snoop job away.

You got that camera of yours? Mine's in the shop.

Wouldn't be the pawn shop by any chance, would it?

Oh, come on, Dolores.

You need the other 50. I need the camera.

Any film in there?

Should be.

I haven't had that roll developed since our trip to Catalina.

- That sure was a long time ago. - Yeah, that was a long time ago.

- Let's do that again sometime. - Yeah, sure, Eddie.

- That paper even good? - Just check the scrawl.

R.k. Maroon, as in maroon cartoons?

Man: Maroon cartoons?

Hey. So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-stars?

Chilly Willy? Or screwy squirrel?

- What do you want to drink? - I'll take a beer, doll.

So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnap dinky doodle?

Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know.

You're working for little Bo peep.

She's lost her sheep and you're gonna help her find them.

Hey?

Get this straight, meatball.

I don't work for toons!

So what's his problem?

- A toon killed his brother. - What?

Dropped a piano on his head.

Got the password?

Walt sent me.

- Nice monkey suit. - Wiseass.

All right.

Hey, look at that!

Hey! Hey! Cut it out!

Does anybody understand what this duck is saying?

- Woman: Most amusing. - A little more wine.

I've worked with a lot of wise quackers, But you are despicable.

Donald: Doggone stubborn nitwit!

That did it!

Daffy: This is the last time I work with someone with a speech impediment.