Cam

Hey, guys.

Sorry, I had to pee.

As per usual.

Huh. I do? No, I don't.

-I do? -

No, I don't know how to do my makeup,

because, uh, I literally stabbed myself in the eye

like three times today when I was trying to put my mascara on.

So... whoops.

Giggle, I would love for you to do my makeup.

We could play.

FireMANdy, dragon, cut it out.

Come on, you guys are so annoying. I hate your inside jokes.

You know, if you guys don't get to the cumshow,

I'm just gonna have to go off cam

and I'm gonna do it without you, so...

-Nobody wants that, right? -

But really?

I need it, so hurry up.

Uh! Diggy, thank you.

All right.

Spanks.

- Um... - -

One... Oof.

-Two... -

-Three. Oh, my God, my butt's gonna hurt. -

Four.

And five.

And one for good luck.

Cut it out.

No more jokes.

Come on, guys. We are so close to the cumshow, Tinker,

I'm waiting patiently.

- -Barney!

Yellow log gets you bounces.

-Ready? -

-Huh, huh, huh... -

What is that?

-Nice, Dumpy. -

All right, two more.

For you, Tiny.

Oh, thank you, Carpie, you're so sweet.

-Oh, I love this song. -

Oh, yes, Barney!

Finally. Okay. It's time to vote.

You guys get to pick which one will fit me just right.

We have...

little baby bear, which is ten tokens.

He looks like a bear.

And then we have Momma Bear for 20 tokens.

And then Big Papa Bear.

Bye, Can. Big Papa Bear is 50 tokens,

and I don't know what this thing is gonna do, but...

We'll figure it out. Thank you, dumpty.

Okay, vote.

Who will it be?

Hm.

Come on guys, choose one.

Get it together.

Okay, seriously, dude, fuck off.

-Goodbye. Anyway... -

What the hell?

All right, dude, does this turn you on while you jack it in your mom's basement?

Do you guys see this?

Carpy, come on.

Fine.

Is this what you want?

Hm?

Is it?

I'll fucking do it.

Gotcha.

Amazing. I think we really got 'em.

Look! We're 53.

We've worked so hard.

Aren't you excited?

Okay, you don't care.

- -Have a great night.

Have a great night.

Have a great night.

Zombie girl says goodnight.

Zombie girl says goodnight.

Hey, Tink.

How you feeling?

This chickadee's at 53.

-Yes, she is. -Yeah.

I think asking you to cut up your pussy was a nice touch.

Oh, my gosh, yeah, you really got the room riled up.

-You make such a good anonymous visitor. -Thank you.

-BarnacleBob seems to like it. -I know!

I think I finally caught my whale.

I hope so. I just worry you might be trying to make another girl jealous.

I don't care. He's a huge tipper.

Tink, don't you want us to make number one this year?

Of course!

Sixty-five to 53, that has to be a record.

-You wanna take a nice bath, relax? -Sure.

Oh, tonight went so well! I told you people are craving crazy shows.

They are! Those guys get so nasty.

Yeah. What the fuck was that?

Are you kidding me? It was amazing. It felt so real.

Anyway, how was the job hunt?

Oh... you know.

Well, you're in IT. I'm sure you'll find something.

No, yeah, I guess you're right. I've been looking

into maybe moving out of the state, actually.

-There's more opportunity, I guess. -Fuck.

Everyone's still online. I should get back on.

-Give them a chance to miss you. -

Food!

Thank you.

Oh! What's that?

-Looks fancy. -Sushi.

You know what, Tink? Um...

-I think I'm gonna go. -Why, my chickadee?

-Don't you wanna try the bubble bath? -No, I do, I do.

-I, um... -

I'm just really tired.

You know, next time, I promise. Sorry, Tink.

-Hey, sweetheart. -Barney!

Hi!

Did you like the show? Number one, here I come!

You're pretty wild, aren't you?

-Oh, you know it. -

-But seriously, thank you. -Don't worry about it.

Princess X has been slacking off. You snooze, you lose.

I bet she's missing you right now, huh?

You look beautiful, even covered in blood.

Mm!

You know, I was thinking about getting in this bath.

Don't let me stop you.

-Aww, thanks, Barney. -Any time.

Let's have some fun.

- -

-Ow. -Do you want a unibrow for your date?

I just don't understand why you won't tell me his name.

Because you would just go chasing after him yourself.

-You kidding? - Mom?

I have no idea what hot knocks is, so I just grabbed all of these.

Okay. What do you think?

Is my daughter a sweetheart,

or a red vixen?

Can I go now?

Sure.

-Thank you. -Don't forget to pick up the folding table

-on your way home. -Ugh. Fine.

It's for your birthday.

A little enthusiasm wouldn't kill you.

You're gonna be there, right, Alice?

-Alice. -What?

-Saturday. -Yeah. No, Jordan, I'll get it off.

That looks nice.

When can I see your new place?

I don't know. When I'm less busy.

I really wish you wouldn't do that. It's not a good look.

Come on.

-Hey. -Jordo, come here.

-So, guess what? -What?

I... I slit my throat last night.

-Holy shit. -

-That's actually kinda cool. -Thanks.

-Oh, it was fucking awesome. -Dude.

Seriously, everybody in my room loved it. It was just like...

I'm like this fucking close to breaking top 50. I can taste it.

Nice.

Thanks, Jordan.

Ahem.

Shut up. I'm gonna tell her.

Mm, okay.

I will. I just have to...

My ranking needs to be better.

-Sure, okay. -

- Wow, this is fun. - Oh, okay.

Do you wanna see

-all of the dick pics I get? -Oh, God.

Let's look through. Let's look at 'em.

-What are you looking at? -Look at them all.

-They're just-- -She's texting a boy.

-Alice? -Yeah.

Play hard to get.