Party Pirate

Hi, I'm Tommy.

I'm nothing special.

But I've got special needs.

Disfluency, dyslexia, CAPD, ADHD-

LMNOP.

I'm so lucky to have amazing friends-

who support me and keep me alive.

They're doing a great job.

Like Irie.

He's what people call gifted.

He's got a good job.

Makes lots of money.

And he's settled.

He likes to get high.

But his feet are firmly on the ground.

He takes me everywhere, like a brother.

What's that thing?

A whale?

Dude is that a whale fucking bottom?

Wow.

And Jasmine.

She would be perfect for me-

if she only knew.

She's a casting director.

And I said I wanted to be an actor-

so I could be closer to her.

And now I'm screwed-

because I have to read all the time.

Like I'm reading this right now!

Dude you almost tried to get into that tree!

And that's Sweats.

As you can see, self-explanatory.

Man, this is fucking nuts!

I spent a lot of my life waiting for things to change.

But not anymore.

I'm finally ready to buckle up and get serious.

I'm in a good place right now!

Oh-!

Yo, you all right?

Uh, I don't know.

Uh, yeah.

Turn that off.

Yeah dude.

Okay.

I paid for that bike-

on my credit card!

Just relax.

Just relax.

I'm getting you out.

Oh my God!

Now put your hands to support your weight.

Yeah.

And get the other one this way too.

Did you get hurt?

I don't fucking know!

I think you're safe dude.

You hurt?

No!

But look at the fucking wheel though!

Oh my God!

Look at him!

Look at him!

Fuck!

What's wrong with me?

And that's-

a very good question.

Fuck!

That's it, my son!

Get after it!

Man, when I was in the Navy-

I'd be washing dishes-

for the thousands!

Fuck!

Some nights-

I'd just fire the whole works

in the ocean!

All right, my son.

You'll be all right.

You're doing good.

All right b'ys, let's rock and roll!

Let's have some service tonight!

Agghhhhh!

It's 8:45.

Thanks.

Easily, the worst audition-

I've ever had.

You sure?

-The room looked like a casting couch.

-So you might get the part.

Where am I taking you?

Another audition.

-Looks like an abandoned milk factory.

It is.

But Dad.

I want to go to Princeton, not sucky old Hartford.

Harvard.

Harvard?-Harvard.

Spell Harvard.

Harvard.

H-a-r-v-a-r-d.

That's not how it looks at all.

Is that the dish pit?

I changed twice.

There's cologne in the console.

Why do they always bring you out to the boonies-

for these auditions?

I haven't seen a coffee shop in four blocks.

How do your actor friends get out here?

The bus.

Low-income.

You mean no-income.

Jasmine lets me self-tape.

Really?

Yeah.

Let me see that self tape.

Do you imagine yourself driving a luxury vehicle?

I wouldn't let that guy clean my gutters.

Yeah you would.

They're called eavestroughs.

I clean them sometimes.

You'd be surprised at some of the things I see in them.

It looks like a music festival garbage.

Condoms and needless and rubber duckies.

Are they used?

No, new rubber duckies.

Oh, lucky you.

Jasmine still talks to you-

after seeing that?

I am lucky.

You know that dune buggy video got over a million views?

So you want to be famous?

Not for being dumb.

Plus, I didn't monetize it.

Fuck.

Look, if I get this role-

I'll have a couple grand.

And I'll be able to pay you back for that rig.

Oh lucky me.

Do you really think you'd pass

for someone going to an Ivy League school?

Not Ivy League.

It's Princeton.

Okay.

We're early.

Alllll rrrrright.

Hey.

Uh-

There's something I got to tell you.

Break a leg.

I got a job.

Oh sweet!

That's great.

A new job.

Why do you need a new job?

It's not a new job.

It's my old job.

Oh.

But it's in Louisiana.

Oh!

But I have to leave next week.

Oh!

I'm going to be rideless.

Well about our apartment too.

I'm gonna be homeless!

But I'll pay my half of the rent.

Okay, all right, thanks.

But for the first month, and then you're on your own.

Fuck!

-I gotta take this opportunity.

I know, I know!

I've got to leave next week.

I can't afford our bathroom!

Well-

this is a good opportunity for you!

You can get some independence-

and get a job!

I've got a job!

What the fuck?

A job that pays you a living wage.

Can you-

Hey can you shut the door?

-Yeah, just like the way you shut the door on me.

What?

Oh my God.

I'm jinxed!

I'm jinxed!

You ruined the audition!

Break a leg!

You ruined it!

You ruined it!

You ruined the audition!

You ruined this audition.

I can't hear you.

Can't hear you.

Re-wit?

Re-rat?

Re-wit?

Ugh, whatever.

Hey!

What's wrong?