Alex, Inc.

Relationships are constantly being tested.

Alex, let me do the peeling. I don't want blood in my food.

Blood's a good source of iron.

- Both old ones... - Soraya, finish your homework.

Put that game down.

And in London, they call it the tube,

but here, we call it the subway.

And new ones.

Also, they call a truck a lorry.

And guess what they call an elevator.

They call it a lift, Lauren.

By the way, should we be looking out for your mom?

When did you say she's picking you up?

Uh, aren't we staying for dinner?

Oh.

I didn't realize Lauren was part of the "we."

- I am. - Fun.

Fun stuff.

Hey, Mom, can Lauren stay for dinner, too?

If there isn't enough food, I totally understand.

You know what? I'll just tell her it's a no-go.

Why? I thought you guys were homies.

I mean, friends.

Lauren's cramping his style.

Ah, the classic "third wheel." Doesn't understand social cues.

I knew I felt a kinship with Lauren.

Well, have you told Emily how you feel?

He's too much of a wimp.

He's been trying to say it with body language.

Oh, great.

One double-stick Popsicle left.

Lauren called dibs.

Guess I'll take this half-opened orange sherbet Push-Pop

from the bottom of the freezer.

November 2015.

Oof.

Ugh.

Eddie just sent me a list of potential podcasts

for our company to produce.

There's over 200 submissions.

Everyone wants to be our next big thing.

- Anything good? - Some are okay,

some are horrible, none are right for us.

The problem is that everyone and their mother

thinks they have a good idea for a podcast.

You know, I actually have a great idea for a podcast.

Right? That's exactly what they all sound like.

No, I'm serious.

Do you remember the Flannery murder?

Oh, God, this is happening?

I was fresh out of law school, clerking for that judge.

The defendant got off,

but the real killer was never found,

and it's been haunting me ever since.

Babe, I know you're trying to help, but it's not that simple.

It takes more than a kernel of an idea to make a great podcast.

There's a certain alchemy...

Dare I say magic to it.

Did that sound pretentious?

Dare I say yeah, it totally did.

Was it the hand gesture?

No, it was the whole thing.

As the podcast search continued,

our options were looking bleak.

They ranged from "just okay", to, well, this.

It is a show about interspecies friendship.

Like if a baby bird falls out of its nest

but lands near a turtle, so the turtle adopts it.

Or maybe a bulldog falls in love with a horse.

Okay, but what would we be hearing?

The sounds of animal friendship.

Is this what we're down to?

Unlikely animal friendships?

I know.

I was really hoping that guy Jeremy's idea

would be decent so I could be his unlikely animal friend.

Well, why can't you be?

Nobody thought a horse could ride a whale,

but he proved them wrong.

Wouldn't that be unprofessional?

I mean, he just pitched to us.

It seems like it would be an abuse of my position

to now make him take me to Cafe Renaldo

and then on a carriage ride I still have a Groupon for.

See, you got it all planned out.

You have to call him, Deirdre.

- What do you got to lose? - I don't know.

It's tempting, but it's...

- What are you doing? - I'm not doing anything.

You're asking him out.

Oh, my God. I am so mad at you.

Give that back to me.

Somebody's going out for drinks on Wednesday.

Oh, I can't believe you.

Unless you're too mad.

I might get over it by then.

I was thinking we should ride a tandem bike sometime.

What? Why?

Or, really, any activity for two people...

Uh, paddle boat, checkers,

dressing up in one of those horse costumes.

Ben, what is going on?

Do you not like Lauren?

Whaaaat?!

Come on.

I can read your shoulders.

Ugh.

My mouth can lie, but these fellas

always tell the truth.

Okay, fine. I don't like her.

Look, I get it. She can be a little annoying.

It'd just be great if we could spend some time together,

- you know, just us two. - I know.

But I can't think of any way to get rid of her.

You know...

the principal owes me a favor.

Maybe we could work out a transfer?

You're weird.

Runs in the family.

Oh, hey, babe.

Hey. How'd it go? Did you find your new show?

Uh, I don't think so.

The best thing we had today was an oral history

of the history of oral histories.

So... probably not.

Well, then, it is your lucky day.

- What's that? - It's a little teaser

Ben and I cut together so you can hear

what my true-crime podcast might sound like.

It's probably not any good, but, you know, give it a chance.

Well, awesome. I can't wait to listen.

Oh, whoops. You almost forgot it.

Oh, can't do that.

That would be the real true crime.

Hope you like it. You're gonna like it.

Is this really the best one we got?

Rolling blackouts of the Midwest?

Yeah, I stayed awake for three quarters

of The Darkness in Des Moines.

What's that?

Oh, Rooni had an idea for a podcast, too.

She and Ben made a little teaser.

- Is it any good? - I don't know.

I'm afraid to listen to it.

If it's bad, I'll have to hurt her feelings,

and if it's good, I'll have to work with her.

- You don't want to work with her? - Oh, I love Rooni,

but "Home Rooni" and "Work Rooni" are totally different.

Sounds like my first marriage.

There was "Sober Deb"

and then there was "Face-Down Sundays Deb."

I'm not gonna sit here and say I don't miss her, though.

"Work Rooni" has to control everything.

In college, we worked together at a sub shop

called I Need a Hero.

I get it. I like that.

Yeah, well, I was the shift manager, right?

And one night, we got slammed.

Now, to me, food was an art form.

Every single sandwich was special.

But Rooni, to her, it was just food,

an assembly line, crank it out.

So we got in a huge fight, and she threw a gabagool at my head.

It was during my kosher phase.

I had a rash until Shabbat.

After that, I vowed to never work with her again.

You know, uh, I hear all that,

and it sounds really hard for you,

especially the gabagool part,

but, uh, we got nothing, so, here, pop that in.

Let's just give it a chance.

On the night of October 26th, in the year 2004,

Wilson Flannery went for a jog and never came home.

Ooh-hoo, I'm teased.

And so the question remains... Who killed Wilson Flannery?

His ex-girlfriend? His former employee?

The man in the green van who no one ever questioned?

If you're like me, you want answers.

Over the next 10 weeks, we intend to find them.

Wow.

Whoa. We gotta do this.

Okay, but, come on, are we really giving

the rolling-blackouts one a fair shake?

Okay, fine.

I think we found our next podcast.

I knew we needed Rooni's show,

but there had to be a way to avoid working with her.

I needed a little time to figure that out.

What'd you think? Did you listen?

Good, right? Great, maybe?

Tell me everything. Be honest.

But kind. I'll shut up.

Babe, I didn't want to tell you this, but...

- it's great. - Oh, my God. You're such a jerk.

Really? You liked it?

I like it so much that we're gonna do it.

Oh, this is so exciting.

We're gonna be partners!

Totally.

In life, for sure.