The Tuxedo

- Come on. - Central Security Agency.

This is Wallace. Operation Big Drip is cresting level two.

I need Devlin. I need him now.

- Hold, please. - Don't put me on hold!

Mother--

Hello, Agent Wallace. I need your nine-digit security code, please.

Hello? Agent Wallace?

Agent Wallace?

Agua la vista , baby.

Hello, my name's Jimmy Tong.

And I was wondering if there's anything I could say

that would convince you to have lunch with me?

Oh, Jimmy, you're so cute.

Let's go back to your apartment and mate like donkey.

- You got me nervous again. - It's just a salesgirl.

To you. But to me...

I dreamed of her before I ever saw her.

Now, that there! That--

That is the line. Go tell her that. That line.

Listen.

Hi, my name is Jimmy Tong.

When I see you, I have a wet dream.

- Is that what I say? - No, no.

Just ask her out to lunch now, and later we'll work out that line.

But hurry up, man. We're wasting time. Come on. We have to drive.

Whatever you do, do not be yourself!

Just joking.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Goodbye.

I can do it.

Hi. My name is Jimmy Tong.

Okay.

- Hi. - Hi.

Pretty colors.

Will you excuse me for just one moment?

Okay.

Just between us guys...

you don't come around here for the art, do you?

- Who would? - Yeah.

Let me, as owner of this gallery,

give you a little bit of friendly advice.

Don't waste any time.

You go over there and you ask Jennifer out.

- You think so? - Yes.

That way, she can say "no" and we can get on with our little lives.

Thank you for your advice.

Hello. My name is Jimmy Tong.

What can I say to convince you to have lunch with me?

I'm sorry. Are you hurt?

Come here, you little runt!

Hi. Hello.

Get back here! Come here!

Where'd you go? Where are you?

Sauerkraut or "sour-crop"? Sauerkraut?

Hey, wait, partner!

I just washed that cab! What the hell is wrong with you, boy?

You want I jam this in your ass and break it?

You want to go, come down here!

Wait, not too fast! Not too fast!

I just want to talk. Hey, you do that there, man. You do that.

You're scared now?

Go ahead and get yourself some training wheels!

Go get a tattoo of a chicken! Go!

I thought all your people know karate.

Not everybody Chinese is Bruce Lee.

Just calm yourself, Jimmy. Calm yourself.

It's just not my day.

Wow.

Do you think you can get me to 70 Fleming Street?

Of course. Wait a second.

- You Jimmy Tong? - That's who I am. Who are you?

The name is Steena. So how come you drive so fast?

More fares.

Is that why you had your license suspended nine times for speeding?

But no accidents.

- Do you remember where I'm going? - 70 Fleming.

Get me there before I finish putting on my makeup, and I'll double the meter.

You serious?

Do I look like I have a sense of humor?

Okay!

Hurry! Open the gate!

You drive too fast!

I got mascara and eyeliner left. You got five blocks.

Don't tell me you're slowing down.

You drive like an old woman.

You're not scared, are you?

Hey, you! What do you think you're doing?

Back off, buddy. She's mine.

It's you, miss.

Well, you lived up to your reputation. The job is yours.

I have a job. A good one.

How much do you make at this good job?

475 a week, plus tips.

How would you like to make 2,000 a week, plus room and board?

- When do I show up? - Tomorrow morning, 7:00 a.m.

- You'll be driving Clark Devlin, Mr. Tong. - Good day, miss.

Now you, out of here!

Good morning, Mr. Tong.

You put your face on without me, huh?

Please, have a seat.

Those are the house rules. Memorize them.

Especially number one.

"Never talk directly to Mr. Devlin."

You have any questions, you'll find all the answers in there.

And if I were you, I'd get rid of the mildew on the chin.

- My soul patch? - Yeah.

You like working for this Devlin guy?

I don't work for him.

I'm not a professional driver,

but I'd always believed that thing you're staring into

is designed for the monitoring of traffic, not passengers.

Am I wrong?

While I'm really enjoying our time together,

shall we try moving?

Wallace has been my partner for years.

Something's happened to him. He wouldn't just disappear.

- Get your job done and find my partner. - So, tell me how.

You're the head of an intelligence agency. Why don't you be intelligent?

I don't understand what you're talking about.

Why don't you call me back when you do understand what I'm talking about?

Did we just take the Balsam Road exit?

Of course. You have to take the surface streets.

- Sorry. - Did you get a copy of the rules?

Did you read them?

Jimmy, let me tell you something, my friend.

I hate the rules.

Take Grand Boulevard all the way. The lights are timed.

Thank you.

- And, Jimmy, crank the music up. - Yes, sir.

Deputy Director Chalmers, ladies, gentlemen,

I present to you Special Agent Wallace.

Deceased two days, 14 hours, five minutes, approximately.

Pretty interesting. Why don't you tell me a little about it?

Well, in the simplest terms, he drowned in his bathtub.

Contusion here suggests he hit his head, fell prone, unconscious.

The man infiltrated a Serbian death squad with not even a scratch.

He goes down in a bathtub?

Life's a bitch. You want to put him back in the fridge?

He didn't drown, sir.

He was murdered.

Does that make life a little less bitchy?

And you would be?

That's Del Blaine, sir.

She's having a filter installed between her brain and mouth next week.

So, you don't think he drowned?

Well, sir, there was water in his lungs.

But the pulmonary vein was filled with collapsed platelets,

indicative of dehydration.

- He died of thirst. - Thirst?

And it wasn't just city tap water.

The mineral profile fit a high-end bottled water.

But what was weird is it contained a strain of bacteria

that I, so far, haven't been able to culture.

Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt.

The woman seems to know a lot about water.

Yeah. She thinks she knows a lot about a lot of things.

You know, we have a special situation in the field.

I think we could use your talents. You interested?

- When do I start? - You ever hear of Clark Devlin?

Rumors and innuendo.

Del, I could tell you a thing or two about Clark Devlin.

You think we can keep our minds out of the gutter for about a second?

Meet me upstairs in an hour.

You might just become Clark Devlin's next partner.

I'm gonna need that Gerris marginatus as soon as possible.

Yes. My contacts in Guatemala have what you're looking for, I'm sure.

Good.

And meanwhile...

I'll take one of these beautiful Eudicella marginatus.

Just gorgeous.

- Now, you're going to call me? - Is your phone number on file?

Having a bit of trouble with the phones at the moment.

It might be better if you dropped it off yourself.

It may take a while.

Why don't you familiarize yourself with the route?

There's a little gathering at my house tonight.

A fundraiser for the Natural History Museum.

I would so love to have you.

"Love to have you."

Should I send a car?

I drive myself.

Admirable.

Eight o'clock.

Try not to wear anything too distracting or no one will get their checkbooks out.

- How did you learn to be so smooth? - I've seen the way you drive.

You have the same instincts I do. It's all about confidence.

The girl in the art gallery is not beyond you, you know.

You know about her?

Every time we leave the house, we go by the art gallery and slow down.

You just need a little polish.

- I'll never be a Clark Devlin. - Don't tell anyone this, Jimmy,

but there's a lot less to Clark Devlin than meets the eye.

I got a couple of good lines and a couple of very expensive suits.

- Apart from that, we're exactly the same. - How about a couple hundred million?

Trust me, 90% of it is the clothes.

The other 10%?

The other 10% is in there. You've got plenty of it.

- Mr. Devlin, can I ask you a big favor? - Yeah?

Can I stop wearing my hat?

- All right. - Thank you.