I Propose We Never See Each Other Again After Tonight

Oh, Jeff! Hey.

Uh, yeah.

I think you're mistaking me for someone else.

Oh, there you go.

Ah.

No.

Like, it's Iris, from Clarissa's party.

Yeah. No, I... Yeah, sorry. I don't think you're...-

- Oh, my God. - (laughing)

I'm sorry.

Yeah. No, it's okay.

I thought you were Jeff. Oh, my God.

Awkward.

And you're walking this way, too.

Yeah, I know.

- Great. - I'm Simon.

- Iris. - Yeah. Got that.

Uh, tell me something about yourself, Iris.

Mmm, okay. Well,

my sister Agnes is engaged to

this porn-loving guy named Justin.

She can't see he's such a sleaze ball, but I can.

But no one ever listens to me.

I mean, my opinion

doesn't really count much in my family,

especially when it comes to my sister.

She's just smarter and, like, you know,

more serious than me.

And it just makes me feel, like, stupid,

or almost invisible.

- Yikes. - (chuckling)

That's too much.

No. It...

- Huh. - Hmm.

I have these, uh,

super strict Mennonite parents.

They don't live in the city,

but they're, like, always dropping in

to, like, check in and see what I'm doing.

Yeah?

Mostly it's just super embarrassing.

But, like, it's so clear to me

that they also think

I'm this 10-year-old kid still.

I don't know.

Hold on.

You want to go grab a drink?

Right now?

Yeah.

Uh, yeah.

So, seeing that

I've already overshared and stuff,

I have a proposal.

May I?

- Please. Yep. - Okay.

I propose we never see each other again

after tonight,

so we can say anything we want.

I don't need to know your last name.

You don't need to know mine.

Just reveal whatever secrets

we want to, just for tonight,

and then we'll leave it at that.

Uh...

okay.

Yeah?

Yeah. I'm very nervous right now. Should I be?

You got a lot of secrets?

Ooh, you do.

- We'll find out. We're going to find out. - Okay.

And we're cheers-ing on it.

Here goes.

That's legally binding.

Okay.

You first.

I just tell you a secret?

Yeah. Anything. Random.

Uh, I have a fear.

You have a fear?

I have a fear.

I'm, um, scared of horses.

Why?

Uh, I don't... They're for... Okay.

Um, they're... I don't know.

- I honestly do not know. - Is it just the way they look?

- Is it the sound? - Yes. Their weird looks.

It feels like maybe they know how you feel.

Maybe. I don't know.

Wow.

I don't trust them at all.

I mean, sure.

Fully afraid.

And I wish I had, like, a cool story

where I was, like, caught in a horse stampede, but no.

Yeah. You know, like... Or something like

you were on a horse and then you fell off.

Not even that. Never even got on a horse.

Good start.

Uh, I keep a bullshit journal.

I do this thing where I have a blank agenda,

plan some dates and events

and trips, write it in pen,

but I don't actually do them.

It's just for show.

I kind of like it.

There's something... There's something to that.

- Interesting. - Yeah, right.

- Yeah, yeah. - You'd be, like...

No, no. You got... There's something.

It's, uh, layers. I'm, like, scared of horses.

You got a whole... You got a whole thing.

Weird.

I've only been here for three... Three years.

- I came from Morden. - Oh!

- You know it? - I've never been.

- Oh, my God. You're missing out. - Am I?

City of dreams, yeah.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Anyways, so I came here. - Yeah... yeah, came here.

And I didn't know anyone.

The first time I went to a bar in this city,

I got in a fight.

Wow. You don't...

Not, like, a fight.

Like, I just got, like, the shit kicked out of me.

Oh, yeah. You don't strike me as a punchy...

Probably, like, the accurate... Scrapper, yeah. No.

Yeah, okay.

And I couldn't stop thinking about it,

and I kept playing it over and over in my head.

And then I found the guy, online.

And, uh, ever since that happened,

I follow him on Facebook.

And I just constantly check his page,

because I'm hoping one time I log in

and something, like, really horrible has happened to him,

like house burned down, fell down a flight of stairs.

Anything. Like, I check it a lot.

That's fucked up.

I know. I know.

I was born with...

a congenital heart disease.

Like, my heart has this tiny little hole.

And if they weren't going to fix it, I was going to die.

My parents always tell me this,

how they looked at

the entire operation through a window,

so they've literally

seen my heart.

So, I can't really hide anything from them.

I, uh...

I never...

do this. You know what I mean?

- I can't, uh... I feel like... - Talk to people?

Well, no. I can talk to people.

I just sort of feel like

I usually... I never let anyone close.

When things get intense, I walk.

I literally walk out the door.

So, it's easier just to wear this mask,

and I can't let anybody past that,

'cause then it's just me after that, and I don't know.

I don't want to give that to anyone.

Hmm.

I always wished that I was that girl,

the one that makes the wild choices.

Like, I've only ever had one guy

that I slept with,

and that was a while ago.

I don't feel like

anyone could want me.

Like, I'm just this unlovable girl.

You seem like the opposite of unlovable.

Well...

it's getting late. I got to go.

Oh, seriously?

Thanks for the...

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Okay. Yeah.

Bye-bye.

You ever been in a three-way?

No.

You want to?

Uh, with you?

Well, yeah, probably.

So, this dude, he's talking to me, right?

He's asking me all these questions, and then he's, like,

"How would you like to make a thousand dollars

"to be in a porno? And if you bring your friend,

he can make a thousand dollars, too."

You want to do a porno?

You want me to be in a porno, with you?

Why not? Yeah.

What? It's not weird.

- It is weird. - It's not weird.

Yeah. It's ridiculously weird.

I cannot believe we're having this conversation.

Look.

You don't have to look at it.