Robot Chicken

_

It's alive!

Okay, quickly now! No hesitations!

One, two, three!

No!

The senseless slaughter must end.

Each day, we put the lives of our children at risk.

Each day, we lose more and more ...

We could just take the long way around.

Spencer, would you shut the up?

Yeah, shut up, Spencer!

Now, today, we take back our lives!

Hold! Hold!

Now!

For our fallen comrades and our children!

It does not move another inch! Do not let go!

Oh, come on, why won't this open?!

Welcome to the Johto Gym, Ash.

Let's see if you got what it takes.

- Pikachu, I choose you! - Pika, pika!

Henry Kissinger, I choose you!

We should take advantage of the Sino-Soviet split

and open relations with China.

That's... Uh, wai... what?

Uh, uh, Pikachu, thunderbolt attack!

Pika-chu!

Oh!

Henry Kissinger, war crime attack!

We should bomb Cambodia and Laos without telling Congress!

Pika! Pika!

- Ha-ha! - W-What just happened?

Did I just learn something?

Hey, I'm here for the sex party.

Um...

I've got an everlasting gobstopper for you.

It changes color ... mostly between red and purple.

- Uh, no, thanks. - Well, maybe this will change your mind.

Oh, now we're talking.

_ Oh! Snozzberriiiiiiiiies!

I want people to stop asking me if I skip leg day!

I love being a spy!

Harriet, you promised you'd stop spying on people!

Oh, Sport, you're my best friend,

but you're such a chapped butthole.

Spying is fun as hell!

_

Spying is hard as hell.

Oh, nobody planning another 9/11, Welsch?

Bummer for you. Come on. Let me show you something fun.

Give me a name ... any name.

My best friend, Sport, from grade school ... Simon Rock.

Another day, another sob and dump.

Oh, poor Sport.

- Why would he post this online? - Post it? Nope.

- I tapped into his laptop camera. - Is this legal?

Aww, you're so cute.

I've got to get proof that the U.S. government

is illegally spying on its own people.

And, if I have time, the proof that Taylor Swift

swallowed a live, human baby.

Now for the moment of truth.

Evening, Harriet. Not trying to smuggle out any data, are you?

Noper, doper.

Hey, ever played with one of these?

Yeah! I had one as a kid.

It drove me insane!

What the hell?! Secrets!

Hey, you ever played "Minions Monopoly"?

"Monopoly" with Minions? Yes, please!

_

Harriet Welsch, thank you for joining us today,

live from your exile in Moscow. How are things there?

Well, I have been a little... "snowed in."

That was weird. Now, you've committed

the largest data theft in U.S. history. Was it all worth it?

I believe all citizens have a right to privacy.

Well, what about charges that WikiLeaks is a Russian front,

- led by an alleged sex criminal? - Hey.

Just because the Russkis gave me this baller apartment,

doesn't mean I was tricked in to undermining

American democracy or anything. That's crazy.

That was funny. But I like it, it's beautifull.

Thank you, Harriet the Spy.

Well, it's time for my daily "sob and dump".

Uh, Harriet, your webcam is still ...

The webcam is still ... Harriet?

Hey, happy Monday, right?

- How was your weekend? - Ugh, I'm calling H.R.

Okay, up next, we have Stacy.

What are you going to do for us today?

Well, I'm a sky dancer, so I'll be sky dancing.

Oh, my God! I don't want to die!

Aah!

I mean, talk about "jungle fever".