American Auto

‐ I've removed features, tweaked designs,

betrayed every creative bone in my body.

I cannot get the cost down anymore.

‐ We are so close to making this car profitable.

What have you missed? Guys, what did Cyrus miss? Go.

‐ I've pushed every safety regulation

to the absolute limit,

and frankly, revealed the need for quite a few more.

‐ Ooh, barely legal. My kinda ride.

‐ That's gross. ‐ It's a character.

Like, "Imagine I really said that?"

‐ You did just say that.

‐ Can we just hide the last few dollars in some sort of fee

and give it, like, an obscure name people won't question?

‐ The dealers are not gonna like that, okay?

It's basically their entire business model.

‐ What about if we use less paint?

‐ We're at the minimum. ‐ I might have something.

‐ Great. Lay it on us.

"Out of the mouth of babes," or something, something.

‐ It's probably nothing.

But when I was on the transmission line

for the Hydra,

we had to shelve 100,000 locking pawls

'cause they weren't rated for the weight of an SUV.

But the Pika's so light.

Why couldn't we just use those pawls now?

‐ Cyrus? Nerd it. Do your nerd thing.

‐ I mean, I see how you got there.

That is cute, you know. It's a really cute idea.

both: And?

‐ And it might, might, I'm saying might theoretically,

also technically, work.

‐ We're in the black, baby. ‐ Haha!

‐ Jack saved the car!

‐ Yep, he came in and found

the last bit of savings after my months of‐‐

‐ It's crazy that the handsomest guy

in the office is also the smartest.

‐ Well, no, no, no, no.

Looks are subjective, so you can't really‐‐

‐ Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!

‐ Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus.

all: Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. Jack.

‐ Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus.

all: Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.

‐ Cyrus, Cy‐‐

‐ To Jack, who stepped up

and knocked one right out of the park.

‐ Yep, right after I loaded up the first 2,600 bases,

Jack just came in and just‐‐

‐ Oh, we should celebrate tonight.

There's this new place you can go to

where you get wasted and then throw an axe.

‐ Is it the woods? ‐ No, I think it's Chop Stop.

‐ I actually can't make it tonight.

‐ Chop Shop maybe. ‐ Oh, why not?

You're the hero of the day.

‐ I just have concert tickets, that's all.

‐ Plans with your real friends. We get it. We get it.

‐ No, no, no, no.

‐ Sounds like somebody got a date.

‐ Oh, busted.

Who is she? ‐ No, no, it's just‐‐

‐ Does she work here?

‐ Yeah, c'mon, Jacky, stop being a coy boy.

‐ Eww. ‐ Ugh.

‐ It's just that lady I sat next to

in the commercial, the actress.

‐ Yes. ‐ Oh, yeah. She was cute.

‐ She seemed nice. Yeah.

‐ Uh‐oh. Hands off Sadie's man.

‐ What? I said she seemed nice.

‐ Overcompensating much?

‐ We were all saying stuff.

‐ Yeah, making excuses much?

‐ I love the much thing.

‐ Well, I might as well celebrate a little more now.

Dori, could you get the good bottles?

‐ Yep, the good bottles‐‐ ‐ The champagne.

The ones that I put on your desk last week.

‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah. Uh‐huh.

‐ Little treat for when we got the car down to cost.

Or to, you know, drown myself with if we didn't.

‐ Yeah.

‐ Is Cyrus in here?

‐ Am I the thing finder today?

‐ Yes, Robin, I'm here.

‐ Hey.

We checked on that inventory you asked for and...

Mm.

‐ Let's go. ‐ Okay.

‐ There's gotta be some champagne in here somewhere.

‐ So you just drank all of Catherine's

fancy high‐end champagne on your own?

‐ Well, she put it on my desk and said, "Here you go."

I thought it was a gift.

I was popping bottles at the Lakers in 2002.

Does anybody here have any champagne?

‐ Does it have to be champagne, or is sparkling wine okay?

‐ Whoo! My girl.

No, sparkling wine is great. How many bottles do you have?

‐ Oh, I don't drink. Just clarifying.

‐ That's a great question, Janine.

‐ Sometimes inventory's off by a few dozen units.

But this time?

80,000.

Crazy, right? That's so many.

‐ Yeah, but it says they're in the system.

It says we have 100,000 pawls.

Is it possible they were stolen or...

‐ Yeah, they probably had a whole crew.

Demolitions expert, little guy in a box.

Maybe we put 'em in the Hydra after all.

Uh‐oh. Dun, dun, dun!

‐ That would be bad.

‐ Oh.

Eatin' your feelings, huh? Been there.

‐ I have no idea what you're talking about.

‐ Captain Obvious to Sadie. You're jealous of Jack's date.

‐ Not how Captain Obvious works. Also, not true.

‐ Hey, look, look, all the science says

when you're holding back feelings, you get cancer.

And we all get it eventually, but sooner.

‐ I prefer that to this.

‐ Just pretend I'm Jack, okay?

Say whatever you wanna get off your chest.

‐ Not gonna do that. ‐ Yo, what's up, girl?

‐ Wow.

‐ Oh, damn, you're looking fine as hell.

‐ Very much no, sir.

‐ Gotta huddle up.

‐ Yo, we gotta huddle up, girl. That is spot‐on.

‐ Now, this is what I call turning chardonnay

into chardon‐yay.

Right.

Oh!

‐ You're not supposed to put white wine in the soda machine.

‐ Janine, baby, I swear to God.

‐ So there's a chance that there may or may not be

up to 80,000 cars out there

whose weight exceeds the maximum capacity

of their locking pawls.

‐ Gleep‐glop‐gloop‐gloop. Cars.

That's what that all sounded like to me.

‐ Well, the pawl's the pin that keeps cars in park.

If they break, cars can roll out of park.

‐ Whatever‐‐it sounds bad but it's not, like, a disaster.

‐ It is when the place it rolls

is downhill over a bunch of other people and stuff.

‐ Ah, okay, well, that kinda gives me disaster vibes.

What do we do in a situation like this?

‐ Well, legally speaking, we need to inform NHTSA

and then issue a very expensive recall‐‐

with the emphasis on very and also expensive.

‐ If this happened, wouldn't we be hearing

that people's cars are rolling out of park?

‐ I think someone would complain.

People love bitching about stuff.

‐ So what are you doing?

‐ Oh, looking to see if anyone's

had issues with Hydras rolling out of park.

‐ No, no, no, no, no. ‐ What are you doing?

‐ No. So, look, the problem is,

right, you know, if there is a problem,

then obviously we are legally obligated

to take some very big, very impactful actions.

So if we don't want to take those actions, then, well,

it would probably best serve us

if we didn't know about the problem in the first place.

Do you understand?

‐ We shouldn't Google it because we wanna be able

to claim deniability in the event

that we decide to engage in a massive cover‐up.

‐ Give the lady a prize.

‐ Hey, c'mon, is this your first rodeo?

Pop open a private browser, go to town.

‐ Private browser?

Those only exist to make cheating husbands sleep better.

There's still a record of everything.

‐ What? That's not true, right?

‐ Okay, guys, we are officially in crisis mode.

No one leaves until we figure out what we're gonna do.

‐ Or not do.

Let's not forget our good friend, not do.

He's served many corporations faithfully over the years.

‐ Sorry, Jack, you're gonna have to cancel your date.

That must make you happy.

‐ Why would I be ha‐‐ ‐ Wait.

Is looking at hacked celeb nudes legal or illegal?

‐ Legal. ‐ But disgusting.

‐ Oh, thank God. New lease on life, guys.

Not gonna lie. I was very concerned.

‐ All right. Here we go. I thought I'd let it breathe a little bit.

‐ W‐w‐what is that?

‐ It's the champagne.

‐ Not really in the mood to celebrate, Dori.

We're kind of in the middle of a crisis here.

‐ Some of our cars might be defective.

We're just debating whether or not to engage