Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, here's where we stand.

This nightclub is the home base

for the Maric crime syndicate.

I've been tracking the club owner,

Vladimir Drogic, aka The Dragon,

aka my first perp with a cool nickname.

What about El Baboso, The Dagger?

Yeah, turns out Rosa was lying about that.

El Baboso actually means "the slug."

Ha ha, tonto. That means "dumb-dumb."

It was very cruel.

I referred to myself as El Baboso

to several beautiful Latina ladies.

Oh, that's your type, isn't it, Jakey?

Like Sophia and Sa...

Anyway, The Dragon is involved

in several counts of human trafficking

as well as...

I'm sorry, what's going on? Who are you?

Drexel with the Organized Crime unit.

I'm here for the Maric case materials.

Oh, are you?

Well, we'll see what my captain has to say about this.

Thank you for taking the materials.

Make sure you also pick up the files

that are on Peralta's desk.

Wow, that is not how I saw it playing out.

Sir, I thought you said this was my case.

I gave you two weeks.

I'm done fending off the Organized Crime unit.

Squad, since Peralta's briefing was cut short,

you can all use this time to clean up your desks.

half-eaten food,

crumpled tissues, pictures of your families.

What's wrong with pictures?

If you love someone,

you'll remember what they look like.

- What is this? - Rubber band ball.

Keep your bands in a box or a bag.

Since you all apparently have time to play throw,

I'm canceling overtime for the month,

effective immediately.

Get to work! And de-ball these bands.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - 02x16 The Wednesday

What is going on?

Holt's been in a bad mood all week.

Did somebody do something to set him off?

Jake, are you seriously asking why Captain Holt is mad?

- What do you mean? - The Wednesday incident.

Hey, hey, just closed my tenth felony of the month,

and I thought we could celebrate.

Might I remind you that this is a police precinct

and it's 10:00 in the morning?

Thought you might say that.

That's why this is nonalcoholic sparkling cider.

There's absolutely nothing you could be mad about.

Uh-oh.

No, no, no, look, I was the first one in on Wednesday.

This story's already full of holes.

He was in a bad mood before those sprinklers went off.

Something must have happened at home.

Dude, just admit that you ruined everything

and you turned our lives into a living hell.

- No biggie. - You guys, this is not my fault.

Boyle, you believe me, right?

Don't make me do this, Jake.

Betrayed!

All right, you know what? Fine.

I'm gonna prove to all of you that something else is responsible for his bad mood.

It's probably Boyle.

Don't worry about it. Don't open it.

No personal calls.

What the hell? That was Marcus.

He's gonna think I hung up on him.

Leave him wanting more.

That's basic seduction stuff, Diaz.

Captain Holt has been in a bad mood,

and I'm not letting it get any worse on my watch.

I need overtime back.

Ladies and gentlemen,

six banks robbed in three weeks,

$250,000 stolen, citizens trembling in fear.

Well, no more.

Boyle, you got your bank robber.

Went home last night... no overtime.

Just me and some brie, and I cracked it.

So here he is,

the thug that's been terrorizing the city.

Say hello, Marvin.

Hello.

Oh, my God, he's so old.

He's not that old. His nurse isn't even full-time.

He couldn't pull off a bank job.

He couldn't pull off the cap on his medicine.

I can hear you.

Sorry.

Hey, this guy is a ruthless criminal.

I'm sorry, sir. Is this gonna take long?

'Cause I was hoping to buy some slacks this afternoon.

I like corduroy. You like corduroy?

- I love corduroy. - He likes corduroy.

You sure you have the right guy? Wasn't the robber strong and fast?

- And able to eat solid foods? - Nobody saw him eat.

The guy wore a rubber mask,

and his voice was disguised.

My system is a little unsettled.

Could I trouble you for a ginger ale?

Oh, of course, sir.

We'll get that and a comfy chair for you to sit in.

Yeah.

I robbed those banks.

I don't even need the money,

but I like to see the tellers squirm.

- I get off on violence. - Oh, my God.

- Here you go. - Oh, thank you so much.

You're such a doll. I must pay you.

No, no, no, I insist. I insist.

Right here.

You remind me of my granddaughter.

Oh, you are so sweet.

I haven't got a granddaughter.

What are you doing here?

You're not scheduled to work today, and overtime is canceled.

Yeah, well, remember about a week ago

when I came in here with a bottle of sparkling cider?

Setting off my sprinklers, drenching my office,

destroying a paper crane folded for me by Kevin.

Right, I forgot how that ended.

The point is, that was all just

regular cop stuff.

There's no way that can be the reason

you've been in such a bad mood.

Bad mood... I'm sorry, haven't I been bursting

into song enough for you lately?

Would you like me to click my heels together

or skip like a schoolchild?

Yes to all of that.

But for reals, what non-me thing

is bothering you?

Is there trouble at home?

Peralta, I'm not gonna discuss my home life with you.

We're not friends. We're not family.

You're not my husband.

Oh, that's hurtful.

I thought we had a special bond.

I was your secret Santa last year.

And I already thanked you for the "Who Farted?" baseball cap.

But you never wear it.

So Holt won't tell me if something happened at home

because I'm not his husband.

But you know who is his husband?

- His husband. - His husband.

I was just a little slow.

Yeah, Kevin's not gonna talk to you

'cause he can't stand detectives.

Yes, but he can stand yous.

Nuh-uh, I spent a lot of time cultivating

a good relationship with Kevin.

He finally calls me Gina instead of Ms. Linetti.

All right, fine. Then I'm calling in my chit.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

- No, ch-it. - What?

Remember when I got you this job?

You said, "OMG, Jake. I owe you one."

I said "OMG"?

That was before other people started saying it.

I was an originator.

You said I could ask for anything,

and for six years, I've been sitting on that chit.

Well, now I'm cashing it in.

A receipt for almonds?

Yeah, I just thought it would be more dramatic

to slide something across the table.

It wasn't, but since I made that promise, fine.

Hey, Kevin. Gina, good to see you.

- Jake's here too. - Yo.

Gina, I know you like champagne with a drop of pomegranate juice.

I like to say it's nature's classiest alcohol

mixed with its narst-iest fruit.

And, Peralta, I hope this will do.

It's a can of orange soda

from when some other children visited.

It's perfect. Thank you for inviting us in.

Yes, I invited Gina in. You were with her.

Okay.

Look, everyone's blaming me for the captain's horrible mood

because of a small thing that happened Wednesday morning.

When you flooded his office with cider?

Well, the water actually flooded it.

The cider just caused it.

But I swear he was already upset when he got to work.

He was anger articulating.

Coat, coat, jacket, coat.

Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar?

Mm, yes, I dread those annunciated denunciations.

Yeah, I hate those de-bunce-ebations...

But so my question is,

could something have happened at home

before he left for work?

Well, I remember that morning.