Xtro 3: Watch the Skies

Men, hold on to your hats.

Ladies, hold on to your husbands.

This is 22-year-old Melissa meed of Brooklyn, New York.

The president of premiere pictures, Walter shapiro,

says that the only other actress around with this kind

of atomic star quality is Marilyn Monroe herself.

And how does miss meed feel about her big break?

Oh, well, I don't know.

We hear you loud and clear, miss meed,

and we're sure you'll be around for a long time.

Dateline bignada, Arizona.

Attention all would-be martian hunters.

What you're looking at are home movies

shot by nine-year-old biff atkins of bignada, Arizona.

Several weeks ago, young biff sold these movies

to this newsreel agency, claiming that the object

you're looking at right now was a flying saucer.

Well it looks like we've all been bamboozled.

Just listen to what our junior Cecil b. Demille

has finally confessed.

There was no flying saucer.

It was a prank I was pulling on my friends.

We've explained to biff that his prank

made a lot of people very scared

and he said he was just having fun.

He didn't mean to get the whole country in an uproar.

He's been thoroughly punished, we can assure you all.

Don't be too hard on him, mom.

After all if uncle Sam is willing to let bygones be bygones,

shouldn't we all?

Biff atkins is to be commended for his honesty.

Like all true Americans, he was willing to admit a mistake,

when he had to.

Mr. Paige!

Mr. Paige, it's Erica stern from the daily news.

You sent me some photographs.

Are you alone?

Yeah, I, oh my gosh.

I'm sorry, miss, miss stern, please.

Please, I'm unarmed, please, come in.

I need to...

- Okay, all right, okay. - We need to talk.

You're my only chance, please, come in.

I mean no harm.

Step, yeah, thanks, just.

You're safe.

Close the door.

Sit down, please.

Looks like you need a doctor.

Not until the story comes out.

I know once it's out in the open that nobody will

dare fuck with me then.

Who do you thinks looking for you?

You name it, they're looking.

But enough with George Paige.

That's just a name that I made up.

That's who I really am.

Lieutenant Martin kirn.

Explosives expert, United States marine corps,

at least until a few weeks ago.

Lieutenant, sit down for a moment.

I'm just trying to find this.

How's your wife?

We divorced, sir, or we should be soon.

Yes, of course, my memories not what it used to be.

The reason I asked you to come and, yes, here it is.

I got a call from the Pentagon.

They've lined you up for a bomb disposal operation.

Oh.

This is classified.

And what we say now does not leave

the perimeter of this desk.

It seems there is an island,

about 200 miles off shore, unchartered.

During world war il it was used as an internment camp

for Japanese Americans, after that for gunnery practice,

and then apparently everyone simply forgot it existed.

It was lost in the files until finally,

some pencil pusher unearthed the file,

and they decided to make use of it.

They want to build a refueling station, and the catch is

they're convinced there's still live ammo there

just sitting around.

They need a team to go in, find what's there,

and get rid of it.

What kind of target range are we talking about, sir?

I don't exactly want to end up with webbed fingers.

No, that was my first question to them.

There are no nuclear weapons involved and nothing chemical.

I hope this sounds promising to you,

because they've already decided you're the man.

Actually it does, sir.

I could use a break from the classroom.

Well, it won't be much of a break.

They've assembled a team from your former students.

The list is there, I think it's that blue page.

Is something wrong, lieutenant?

This is quite some list.

Corporal dermot Reilly, sir, is a raving psychopath.

And Hendricks, I wouldn't trust Hendricks

with a cigarette lighter, let alone an assignment like this.

Well once these Pentagon boys

have their minds made. I understand that, sir,

but they don't know my students like I do.

Let me see if I can make some headway.

The crew is set.

Lieutenant, they are absolutely committed.

Well, that was an attitude

I knew something about.

It's what wrecked my marriage.

She wanted me to quit the military but I wouldn't.

She couldn't take living on bases anymore.

When it came down to it,

I chose the marine corps over her.

I was in that deep.

Anyway two days later, the Pentagon flew their guy out.

Fetterman, a spook military intelligence, not CIA,

but a spook through and through

with that typical spook arrogance,

like there wasn't one thing happening in the world

he didn't know about.

Captain fetterman reporting, sir.

Captain, this is lieutenant Martin kirn.

My assistant, j.G. Watkins.

Colonel, sir, may we proceed with the debriefing?

Well, captain, the lieutenant would like

to take you to lunch first,

his way of welcoming you to California.

J the shadow, the shadow of doubt

j still lingers, but the sound is vague

j as each day, as each day goes by

I quit, I've had enough.

Oh, what the fuck was that?

That was not the fucking shot you called.

The fuck it isn't, leave him the fuck alone.

I'm no good at this stuff anyway.

You can't quit now, freak man.

He said he quit, so leave him alone, asshole!

Since when did you become his mommy?

Fuckin' prick!

Goddamn it, asshole!

Oh, oh, oh!

- They're rowdy. - Shut the fuck up!

Who's in charge of these men?

- Excuse me. - Come on!

Come on, baby girl, get out of my way.

Get the fuck out of the way!

Banta, banta, put that cue down!

Right now!

- Prick! - Reilly!

Reilly, everybody, fall in line!

Hustle!

Hustle, hustle it up.

Sir, I'd like you to meet the people you selected

for your assignment.

Private dermot Reilly.

Wipe the smile off your face, Reilly.

Corporal banta.

Banta.

Private Hendricks.

Hendricks, show the captain your finger.

How did you lose that finger, Hendricks?

Sir, failure to follow your instructions, sir.

And last but not least, captain, private Friedman.

How do you do?

Just thought you'd like to meet the people

first hand, captain.

Are you a team player, kirn?

I believe my record speaks for itself.

The crew stays as it is.

Watkins!

I'll see you outside. Yes, sir.

And I'll see you at 0600.

By the way, she's off limits.

Say hello to your new co, boys.

Hey, banta, I'm your relief,

and, oh, what a relief I am.

Lieutenant tight ass is calling some sort of meeting.

Hey, banta, that Watkins, kinda pretty, huh?

Fuck you, Reilly.

Whoa, banta, slow down, slow down, we have to talk.

How'd you end up in the corps, banta?

Well, uh, I used to be an ice skater,

and there was this other ice skater, this bitch,

and I couldn't stand her,

so I hired somebody to break her fuckin' leg,

so the judge he gave me two options,

three years in the military or a year behind bars.

So we're the lucky ones?

Yes, sir.

Actually, of all the those people on this assignment,

you're the only one that I halfway trust.

Fetterman agrees.

He's gonna be setting up a base camp,

we'll be splitting up into two teams.

I'll be heading one, you'll be heading the other.

Thank you, sir.

No, don't thank us, just don't prove us wrong.

So, Friedman, Hendricks, or Reilly, which one do you want?

Ah, anybody, so long as it's not Reilly.