Workaholics

Go!

Yeah!

Up!

Go!

Yeah!

Both: Oh!

Go!

Hi-yo! Sonic boom!

Go!

Oh!

The Professor!

What? What? What?

Stop him?

You can barely hope to contain him!

Uh-oh.

I got it.

I got my gun, baby.

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Oh, my God, you guys.

Wood.

Yeah. Now let's go.

You don't get it.

It's not just wood. Oh, no.

It's a sick rooftop waterslide baby

that hasn't even been born yet.

- Oh! - Right?

All right.

Okay, Ders bounce-passes the ball to Blake.

Blake catches it midair,

who then passes it back to Ders, catching it midair,

who underhands the ball back to me.

At this junction I will bomb down the slide,

catchin' it midair!

Tomahawk slam dunk starting now.

Go!

Ooh, baby!

Ooh, ah, man!

That tickled.

I got a little bit of a splinter.

I'm gonna go tweeze it out.

Feels like a biggie.

You guys want any bop-pops?

I'm good.

Okay, no bop-pops.

When we're done sanding this sucker,

it's gonna be slick butthole.

It's gonna be like a B.P. oil spill up in this bitch.

But instead of, like, dead seals,

we'll have a lot of Jessica biels...

All oily, just floppin' all down the slide.

- Totally. - Totally, man.

I mean, it's gonna be like a landmark of the neighborhood,

kind of like that old tree that's up the block

that looks like it has, like, a nappy coochie.

Yup, or that doughnut that's on the roof

in the Snoop Dogg video.

- Hey, guys. - Yeah?

I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore.

I know. Okay.

My muscles and my brain hurts.

I vote we forget about the slide,

and we go smoke weed about it

and forget about all of our troubles, starting now.

What if we, uh, post the job online, right?

What is that thing? TaskRabbit?

You just put a job up, and then somebody bids on it.

Somebody could do it on the cheap.

Okay. Yeah.

- I mean, I love that idea. - Right?

I hate workin' to get stuff done.

You know? It's like, um, "this is stupid."

What is brickleberry?

Oh, nice.

Wow.

Who would have known?

Oh, got a bid on the TaskRabbit.

Oh, are you kiddin' me?

Whoa.

$150.

- $150? - Yeah.

What are we, the rockefellers' record company...

Rockafella?

What if we just TaskRabbit a job ourselves?

You know, make some dough,

pass it on to the guy sandin' our slide?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right.

- See what we got. - What else do they have?

Um, clean someone's gutters?

Okay. All right. Uh, walk cats.

That one doesn't even seem real.

Build an Ikea desk.

Can you tell how much I hate that one?

- So that's a no. - I hate this game.

Just give me that.

I bet there's some cool jobs on there.

There's not. I just looked.

Let me see. See? You got to be creative.

You got to think outside the bun.

- - Let's see.

Ah! There! There we go. Look at that.

Entertainment for an eight-year-old's

- birthday party, huh? - Us?

Yeah!

Are you... What would we even do?

We'll be clowns!

I bet I'd be so good at 69-ing.

I know you will be.

Thanks, man.

Want to know how I know?

- No. - I'm not tellin'.

- - Oh, bully.

Okay!

Time to gather around

and watch the tallest clown in the world

hypnotize your parents into doing wacky and wild things.

So perhaps the woman in blue would be so kind as to join me.

Ooh.

Time to be hypnotized.

Now, if you would just take some deep breaths...

Prepare your body.

Nice, and...

She's asleep!

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hey, Nurse Jackie,

you're a nurse, right?

I need you to help me with somethin'.

Well, you can't kill stupid, stupid.

Wait, what?

Who you callin' stupid, dummy?

You're the dummy, dummy.

Oh, ow!

Zoinks!

I love you, Nurse Jackie.

All: Aw!

That was so cute.

You're a tiger!

You're a toad! Ribbit!

Who is this?

He's an owl!

Zoinks!

I'd rather be a dummy than an idiot.

I love you, Jackie!

You love me too, right?

No. I love Jackie.

Okay.

Get off. Get off.

Sit down.

Now, why don't we see if mommy

could wind her body like a snake?

And she's awake!

Whoa!

I'm on stilts.

They think Nurse Jackie's real.

Guess what? I'm real.

I'm a real boy.

- Jeez! - Whoa.

Ew. What's that smell?

We're off the clock, kid.

Go, um, suck your mom's for me.

Jeez.

I thought it was a miniature cop.

Uh, uh...

We ghost ridin'.

We ghost ridin'.

How you like me now?

Pow!

No, no, no, no, what do you mean

this doesn't look like Dimebag Darrell?

Do you even, like, know anything about Pantera?

I'm dying!

Oh, Jackie!

Oh, no!

Maybe it's just your time to go...

Straight to hell!

Is the, uh, hypnotism show gonna start soon?

Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

Um, when I clap my hands,

you're gonna be a loser dad that walks away.

You suck .

Prove it.

And the way you use the puppet,

you were like a modern-day Jeff Dunham.

Yeah.

Were you wearing stilts or not?

- Still haven't figured it out. - Oh, well...

No, the kids were... They were, like, all...

"How... he can't be that tall.

That's not even humanly possible."

Thank you.

And let's not forget big-ballin' Blake over here

with your artwork, dude.

Stop. Stop.

I'm just glad somebody finally appreciates it,

because I think it's horrible.

I'm always tryin' to throw it away,

but it's cool that, like, parents and, like, dumb kids,

like, get it and... and love it.