Jane the Virgin

Okay, where to begin?

After being engaged and then broken up,

Jane and Michael are finally back together.

Not as thrilled? Jane's baby daddy/former boyfriend

Rafael, but that was over.

My feelings changed and that's why we aren't together.

And he did say he'd try to get on board with Michael.

Complicating everything? His ex-wife Petra.

See, she impregnated herself with Rafael's sperm.

And she was expecting twins! Oh, and did I mention

Rafael recently got back in touch with his mother?

You actually have a half brother.

- Oh, and turns out she's a crime lord. - It's her!

So, yeah, tough times for the Rafster.

Also going through tough times... Jane's father,

international telenovela star, Rogelio de la Vega.

See, after he and Xo broke up, he and Jane got into a fight.

I just think I need some space right now.

Even worse, he was kidnapped by his number-one fan/

fan/prison pen pal/new assistant!

No one can ever get out.

I know, bananas!

So let's see what happens next.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 15 years old, she fell hard and fast

for romance novels.

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What the...?

Man, did Jane yearn to know what that black ink was hiding.

It was as if her whole life were leading up to that revelation.

Which brings us to last night,

just after Jane and Michael's romance-novel-worthy kiss.

Jane was ready. The time was right. What were they waiting for?

And so they finally had sex.

Lots and lots of sex.

Just kidding.

Geez, why are you all so obsessed with that anyway?

Here's what really happened.

We got to take a break.

- No, let's have sex. - What?

I mean, I've been thinking about it, and it was

one thing to be a virgin when marriage was on the horizon.

But then we weren't together. And the finish line moved.

- And it seemed so far away! - Closer now.

- Huh? - The finish line.

- Because we're getting married. - Oh...

that's true.

Yeah, and I wouldn't even be waiting that long.

Well, on the other hand, what's the point of waiting

if we're gonna get married anyway, you know?

Well, I mean, I did want to wait.

- Yeah. - And if it's gonna be soon.

Bro! You just blocked yourself!

In that case, get ready to be proposed to, because it's gonna happen soon.

Very soon.

And so Jane and Michael were back together.

And in some ways, it felt just like old times.

They ate Cubanos.

Jane and Michael? You're back together?!

They sent cute texts to each other.

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They caught up on Scandal.

Honestly, I'm glad Olivia's done with Fitz.

Oh, my God, I knew it.

- You kept watching without me. You did! - No, I, no, I didn't...

- Some of the guys from the office... - You're a total Gladiator, admit it.

- Admit it. - (Mateo crying)

But then again, some things were different

- because there was a baby. - (knocking)

And a baby daddy.

This seems like a good time to catch up on what Rafael has been up to

these last ten days.

He has, in fact, been having sex.

Lots and lots of sex

with a lot of different women.

The exact number is not important.

But all six encounters had one thing in common.

Let's talk contraception.

I probably can't have kids, but we still need two different kinds.

I've got the condoms. Then either the pill, an IUD, the patch,

the ring, the shot or the sponge.

Yes, Rafael had decided that instead of no sex and babies,

he would try sex and no babies for a change.

Sorry I'm late. I keep missing that turn onto 3rd.

You'll recall Rafael promised to try with Michael.

Guess I need to give myself some more time.

Yeah, gets confusing.

So here he is, trying.

Don't worry, it took me a while to figure out the neighborhood.

And the traffic on the I-95 is the worst, so it's...

In fact, I think it's safe to say that all three of them

were finding this trying.

So, I'll check in with you later and just tell you how he's doing.

Great, yeah. Have a good time with Daddy.

All right. See you two later.

Mm-hmm.

I just, huh...

Did he seem okay to you?

Yeah, yeah, he seemed, uh, you know, normal.

Like he was trying to be nice.

- Well, let's talk about it. - No. (Stammers) I'm sorry.

- No, if you're, if you're worried. - I'm sure he's fine.

In times like these, Jane couldn't help but imagine what could've been

if she hadn't broken up with Michael all those months ago.

The Sliding Doors version, as it were.

- Raf! Hey! - Hey!

- Oh, come on in. - Hey, come to Daddy.

- Jane, Raf's here. - Oh, my boy!

- Hi, Daddy. - Hi, how are you?

Okay, now that I have you two here,

we need to start planning Mateo's first birthday party.

- Really? Three months early. Come on! - I mean, that's a little early, Jane.

- No way, you two. Don't gang up on me. - (both laughing)

- Okay, it wouldn't be like that. - Maybe not.

But if I hadn't left Michael back then, things would be so much easier.

And tomorrow would be our first wedding anniversary.

- Really? - (phone chimes)

- What? - Dad replied to my text.

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So immature. Did you see his latest tweet?

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I'm getting pissed. I know that I hurt his feelings.

But you don't just detach yourself from your family.

There's no excuse for that!

How about being held hostage by your old prison pen pal,

who disguised herself as your assistant?

- Please, let's talk. - We will.

- Without the shackles! - How can I trust you?

First you stopped writing to me. Then La Miseria stopped airing.

I was your biggest fan!

Okay, if there's any hope of recapturing the magic,

- I can't be shackled. - What are you talking about?

Cesar the Barefoot Bandito kept Estela in a love cage

until she finally developed feelings for him.

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Look, you can't keep me here. I will be missed.

Tiago starts a two-week break tomorrow.

- My family will notice I'm gone. - You asked them for some space.

I'll stay in contact with them for you. Give me your passcode.

No, I will not do it.

No, not the face. Dear God, not the face.

007! It's 007!

Which brings us here now

to the biggest acting challenge of Rogelio's career.

Thank you, dear Lola.

It's so hard to believe I once feared you.

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In some ways, it was working.

Occasionally, she removed his arm shackles.

See?

But not in all ways.

Another text from Jane?

"Dad, it's been two weeks. I know I really hurt you and I'm sorry,

but please stop shutting us out. When do you get back?"

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Please, Lola, she needs more than that.

She's missing her father.

I'll think about it.

- Time for night-night. - Maybe one night without the pill?

I love you, Rogo.

Heard you got a lead on our missing person.

Yep, Derek's ex-girlfriend is back in town.

I know what you're thinking. Who is Derek? Well, Derek is...

Actually, what the hell? Let's Scandal our way through this.

What? Michael's not the only fan.

Derek Ruvelle, son of Rafael's mother, Elena Di Nola.

Rafael's half brother. Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

Here's what we know... rich kid, dropped out of Pepperdine.

- Classic Trustafarian, he travels. - Spends his mother's money.

Here's where it gets exciting... Our buddy Derek disappeared

the day after Mutter's identity was discovered.

Social media accounts remain silent. Last known whereabouts place him

in St. Croix traveling with this woman, Avery Van Allen.

- So find me Avery Van Allen. - Just landed back in Miami.

She was in Ibiza. Want me to pick her up?

Νο. Let's see if we can catch her off-guard.

Before she knows we're looking for her.

No, definitely not. I have no interest in finding my brother.

I know that. I'm just asking you to help us make contact, get information.

Sorry, I'm not getting involved.

Well, looks like Rafael's pretty much killing my investigation.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. This is a Rafael-free zone.

- What is, what is all this? - Well, it's silly, but

today we would've been married one year.

So I thought we might as well celebrate anyway.

Old-school Jane and Michael style.

- Oh, yeah? Old-school? - Mmm, hard-core old-school.

Oh, I had the same thought.

- Happy would've-been-our-anniversary. - Oh...

- Open it, open it, open it. - (laughs) Okay!

No way.

- The new Angelique Harper? - Mm-hmm.