Slow Horses

Get out of the way! Move. Move. Move.

Oi!

What the fuck?

River, you have to do exactly as I say.

- You've got Catherine? - I don't know anything about Catherine.

If you hurt her, you know I'll kill you.

I was just told to come here and give you a message.

- That's bullshit. - Please.

They've just sent me a picture of my sister with her kids at the swings.

- Who did? - I don't fucking know, okay?

But I have to do what they say, or they'll kill the kids in front of their mother.

These are bad people, River-- Please--

Look, I'm a shit and I'm a prick,

and I don't-- I-I-- I don't blame you for hating me, but these are kids, River.

They're gonna kill kids.

Well, they're gonna kill Catherine as well. So, who are they?

How many times-- I don't know. I-- I'm not in the Service. You tell me.

- They want you to get this. - I wrote it down.

The PM's vetting file? You know where that is, right?

Course I know where it is.

Well, then you know I can't get that.

- No, you have to get it. - No, it's impossible.

No one gets into that part of the Park.

- You have to get it. - Even if I could get in, I'd never--

You have to get it by midday.

Mi-- An hour?

Or my nephew, my niece, my sister, Catherine, they are all gonna die.

- No, I need more time. - Oh, come on. You have to try!

- Please-- - Okay.

- Who do I even give it to if I get it? - I don't know.

- Mmm. - I just-- I don't know.

They just said they'd make contact again at midday.

- Why didn't they just get you to get it? - I'm not in the Service anymore.

You know that.

And I'm in Slough House, which you love reminding me of.

Yeah, but you don't belong in Slough House. Everyone knows that.

Maybe they do too.

Maybe they want you because you're-- Fuck's sake--

Because you're special.

That you're the only person who can pull this off.

S--

What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus.

River, please, go. Run. Now.

Please, don't let 'em kill me. Please--

Fuck. All right, fine.

Please. Please.

What are you-- What are you doing?

What are you doing? River!

Oh, fuck.

Mind the gap.

Move, move, move, move!

Thank you. Excuse me. Sorry.

Move. Move. Sorry. Excuse me. Thank you.

- Can you just-- - What's-- What's the hurry, mate?

Sorry.

Move!

Let me in. Let me in. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

I need to speak to your head of security.

There's a queue.

Get him on the phone now.

That doesn't even get you into the building.

God, I've missed you.

Phone off.

I said off!

Yep, one minute.

Off.

He's here, sir.

Thanks.

You fucking me around?

- No. - So, this isn't bullshit?

- Have you got somewhere else to be, River? - Uh, no.

Uh, no, it's not bullshit

and, uh, no, don't have anywhere to be.

I don't want you here any longer than necessary, you fucking Jonah.

- Understood. - Hey!

That seat there is for proper fucking grown-up spies.

Spies who don't crash Stansted or call in fake fucking Code Septembers.

Look, I get the impression sometimes that you don't like me.

I'd like to see you eaten feet first by pigs.

Well, you have a very eclectic bucket list.

But this is not bullshit.

You have the diamond?

You're welcome. See ya.

Wait.

- How did you get it? - What?

There were only three people on that roof.

Standish, Longridge, Guy. Not you.

I mean, look, obviously the person that's taken it,

they've acted impulsively, and they've regretted it.

- Which one was it? - I don't know, Duffy.

It was left on my desk with a note to return it to you.

Did you bring the note?

No. And you can't tell who it is from the note anyway.

No, obviously you can't.

You've got your diamond back. That's what's important, okay?

Wait.

Let's go and see if this one's genuine, shall we?

- Why would it not be genuine? - I don't know, River. You tell me.

- Look, it was handed to me... - Yeah.

...and I handed it to you. That's all I know.

Well, let's go and find out together then, shall we?

Do I need to come for that? Why? Why--

You said that you didn't have anywhere else to be, River.

Yeah, okay, let's go.

River, if you are fucking me around,

I'm gonna punch you so hard you'll shit teeth.

Standish hasn't shown in the morgues or the hospitals.

Mmm. Someone's grabbed her.

She contacted Cartwright, or he said she did before he scarpered.

- Well, where is he? - No idea.

- Well, call him. - I tried.

His phone's off, which means I can't track him either.

Jesus Christ, you lot are about as much use as a paper condom.

Where are Little and Large?

- Do you know what's in that? - Yes.

Ice cream, sauce, whipped cream, marshmallows. It's why I bought it.

There's enough calories in there for a week.

I burn them off. I know it's harder to keep the weight off at your age.

Look, we might not be each other's first choice,

but it is just you and me.

We share an office, is all.

Yeah, and River and Louisa have got the other one.

Ho is his own thing.

And Lamb and Standish are in some twisted codependency.

So, maybe we should team up.

To do what?

Get out of Slough House.

Unless you wanna stay there forever.

Hmm.

I've got time to take stock, consider my options, unlike you.

I'm only five years older than you.

Shh. Lamb.

Has Standish reached out to you or Shirley?

No. We'd have let you know if she had.

I'm not sure you would, seeing how's you slacked off

for an ice cream.

Get back here. She's been kidnapped.

- He said she's been kidnapped. - Who by? What do they want?

He didn't say. He wants us back straightaway.

How did he even know we were here?

Yeah, that's definitely what I'd focus on.

Standish's been kidnapped and what? You just processed that and moved on?

Come on. If he knows we're here,

he probably knows we haven't started moving yet.

God, we're gonna get a triple bollocking.

Ho must have tracked our service phones.

He's probably got cameras in our toilets at home too.

Yeah, I'm gonna need you to slap him again.

- Is this gonna take long? - You said you had nowhere to be.

Well, by nowhere, I meant Slough House, of course.

- Cartwright? - So-- Ma'am.

What are you doing in here?

He's returning the missing diamond, supposedly.

I didn't ask you. I asked him.

I've returned the missing diamond, actually.

And I'm taking him to get it examined and verified.

You can do that by yourself. I need to talk to Cartwright.

Ma'am, technically you no longer have oversight of me or the Dogs.

I still have oversight of the Slow Horses. Lucky me.

Come on, Cartwright.

I want you back in my office when she's done with you.

If I have to come looking, it's not gonna be pretty.

Ma'am.

I don't want you in this building ever.

You are the bane of my career.

When you show up, frogs start raining from the sky

and blood pours from the taps.

- I was returning the missing diamond. - I don't care about the diamond.

The fact that it was missing made Duffy look like a fool,

which I was rather enjoying.

Until you messed that up like you mess everything up.

- Well, I didn't mean to mess anything up. - Oh, shut up.

- Because of your rolling disasters... - Yep.

...I have been put in charge of moving boxes around.

And you and the other quarter-wits at Slough House

are making a meal out of even that.

- Well, it is a lot of boxes, to be fair. - I don't want excuses.

I want you to never have happened.

- Feels like I should go. Yeah. - Yes.

Keep walking until you get to the sea.

And when you get to the sea, keep walking with your mouth open.

You know the way out.

Whoa. Hey, hey.

- Hi? - H-Hey, uh, this is weird, isn't it?

Yeah.

- Um, I am not sure why I stopped. - Me neither.

- Do you wanna grab a drink? - No, thank you.

No, yeah. Fair enough. Well, I'll see you around then.

Unlikely.

Unless I give you my number.

Do you remember that I kicked you out of my flat?

Yeah. I guess I was just hoping we might part on better terms.

Look, I know you think I'm a dick.

I am.

But probably not as much of a dick as you think.

Look, I'm just-- I'm not really in a good place at the moment,