Superstore

What does it mean to change?

To embrace progress?

To transform?

Cloud 9 is pleased to announce that our in-store brand "Halo"

has now become "SuperCloud."

A new day has dawned.

All right, there you have it.

So it's a big day today.

We start our rebranding.

Does rebranding mean they're redesigning the store?

No, we'll be taking our in-store product "Halo"

and changing it to "SuperCloud."

And how are they different?

That, uh, what I just said.

It used to be called "Halo."

Now it's called SuperCloud.

- Oh. - Maybe I'm not, um, selling

the excitement of what's happening today.

Let's see if this helps.

Wow, that song is a little longer than I thought.

- What was that, 11 minutes? - 12

All right, anyway... 12? Sorry about that.

Uh, moving on, we have buttons

for everybody to wear today,

and there's a VP coming in to oversee this rollout.

A VP of corporate?

I'm gonna need to borrow somebody's lipstick.

Not Amy's... way too slutty.

Who's that lady?

Oh, that's Kelsey, from Cloud 9.

She's the new SuperCloud mascot.

Why is a smiling white lady always the mascot?

'Cause in my experience, usually they're, like, the first to snap.

She's not wrong.

I personally blame all the yogurt white ladies eat.

Why didn't they make it a superhero?

You know, 'cause SuperCloud?

And it could have, like, a cape or something,

and, like, little cloud muscles.

Yeah, wow, that's...

Clean, it's simple, it's visual, that...

is probably what it should've been. Damn.

So all right, let's just move on.

Here are some words

we'd like you guys to pepper in to the conversation today

whenever SuperCloud comes up, obviously, so "cool,"

"millennial," "on fleek..."

Have to go back to the superhero mascot,

I'm so sorry, that's just a home run.

Yeah, and he could be saving people with savings.

, that's good.

- Oh, excuse me. - Yeah?

Where is the Halo toilet paper?

I could only find this stuff.

Yeah, this is our new product line:

the SuperCloud, and I have been ordered to tell you

how excited I am about it.

But I like Halo.

Right, well, apologies, but we've actually shifted

completely to SuperCloud.

This is not a good time in my life for this.

Rachel just broke up with me.

I don't know who that is.

I thought I knew who she was.

You know, I gotta tell ya...

Ooh, look out, ladies.

Here comes a stylish dude.

Yeah, somehow he makes baldness look cute.

Hey, I'm not talking about Jeff.

I'm talking about the other guy.

Yeah, obvs. I was kidding.

Jeff is like the ugliest guy in the world.

So busted.

Like stretched-out Danny DeVito.

Hey, guys, excuse me.

I want you to meet Rex Joshi. He's in from the main office.

Hey, call me Mr. Joshi. Pleasure to meet you.

So good to meet you. So good to meet you guys.

We are so excited

about this SuperCloud.

We think it's going straight up to the sky.

So who's gonna help me get out there

and make this rollout huge?

Big success. Who's with me?

You have a lot of hand gestures.

Always doing something with those hands.

- You betcha. - Oh, okay.

- One of those. - Pshew.

One more time. Stick shift.

We could do that all day.

Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,

but these boxes really need to be uniform.

Thank you, sorry, I just gotta stay on top of them.

Yeah, I'll make sure they fix it.

Please do.

You are management,

so you're most at fault here.

Okay, let's head over to Sporting Goods, Rex.

- Sure, yeah. - Make sure things are in order.

Ooh, that was cold.

Um, have you decided who you're gonna

take this out on later? 'Cause last week it was me...

Elias!

That is not how you climb a ladder,

you turd!

Hey, Cheyenne, can you go wake up this lady

that fell asleep in Electronics?

Last time I tried something like that,

I got punched in the beans.

Um, can I just buy some of this discounted Halo stuff

for my baby first?

It's normally so expensive

I can barely afford her eye shadow.

Okay, but you know you're not supposed to

buy things while you're clocked in, right?

Well, can I set it aside for later before it sells out?

Not supposed to but...

Okay, I'm sorry, no.

You'll have to do it when your shift's over.

_

_

_

_

No, I-I'm telling you, they...

they feel exactly the same

because they are exactly the same.

Well, let me at least try your belly.

I'm not gonna...

Fine, but just be careful. I'm ticklish.

Um, everything okay over here?

Keep moving, I'm a Cloud Club Rewards Member.

- It's not a big deal. - Jonah?

- Rex? - Wait, I'm sorry, you know him?

Yeah, we went to business school together.

Dude, what the hell are you doing here?

Could you pull that up a little bit higher?

- Pull it up higher? - I heard you.

Anyway, I just started driving, and...

and then I saw that they were hiring here

- That's... that's great. - Yeah.

Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that.

I would've figured you were one of those guys who are on

a voyage of self-discovery.

Oh.

You know, backpacking through Asia, rolling cigars in Cuba.

Or, as Jonah would say, "Coo-ba."

- He does that? - Yeah.

Should I be embarrassed that I pronounce

it the way native Coo-banos do, or...?

- You should. - Okay.

Iceman.

I mean, look at you, man. It has been too long.

I'm sorry, we're gonna need to take it back to "Iceman"?

Yeah, that was my nickname in school.

They, uh, you know, ice in the veins, cool and collected.

It's because you were always cold in class. You had that afghan.

That was a blazer. That was a knit blazer.

Oh, my God. You're Iceman.

I'm gonna hear this again, aren't I?

Yes, Iceman, you are, Iceman.

"You're the manager, so you're the most at fault here."

- That guy really sucks. - Total asshat, right?

- I hate his little eyes. - I hate his stupid face.

I literally hope he dies.

What?

Yeah, I... I hope he does. I hope he dies.

I really hope he dies.

Just dead.

Our team formulated a plan that featured WOM marketing,

message-sending, and, of course, fluid branding...

Oh, my God, this is amazing.

Look at that little suit.

- It's like his bar mitzvah. - Aww.

It looks like a normal-size suit to me.

All those words, and you said absolutely nothing.

Oh, Rex, thank you for giving us this gift.

Okay, I think we've seen enough.

Ah!

I need to pull off the veil of secrecy.

What are you doing? What is that?

Is that something you've practiced?

Just a couple times in the mirror, don't worry about it.

Okay, listen. I know you're really

stressed out, but, okay, this isn't you, okay?

People are starting to complain.

Who?

Just, people, okay?

Dina didn't like the way you talked to her in front of everybody.

She called you an asshat.

An asshat? Well, that's hurtful.

Uh, but I will try to do better.

And just since the veil of secrecy is off,

I feel like you've been mentioning your ex-boyfriend a little too much.

Not the time.

Got it.

Veil on.

I love that you and Chad are still close.

Direct WOM management and indirect WOM management...

Garrett, can you please formulate

a global strategy to fold