Obsessed

Stop.

This is coming down.

What? Why?

No, I love the idea of the mirror on the ceiling, but that's just ugly.

But the thing is, you look beautiful in it.

Now, see, if we're gonna take it down, we gotta at least try it out...

...christen the new house.

And what do you suggest we use for a bed?

We don't need a bed, because we got this fine carpet right here.

So I guess we'll have fine carpet tattoos all over our asses.

Wait, baby, don't you have to go to work?

I don't want any 30-second nookie.

I told them I'd be late. Now what?

- What about the movers? - The movers?

- Yeah. - They're gonna be here in an hour.

Which is just enough time.

Derek. You are so bad.

Like that isn't why you married me?

What about Kyle?

He'll be all right. That boy will sleep through anything.

Gage Bendix?

Excuse me?

I couldn't help but notice we were both going to 22.

Gage Bendix, yeah. I work there.

I thought that you might.

You have an appointment with us?

Why, do I look like a client?

Actually, you do.

Well, well, I hate to shatter the illusion, but I'm a temp.

You're a temp?

Girl's gotta pay the rent.

I would've never guessed a temp.

Let me help you out.

There you go.

Thanks. I owe you one.

- Good morning. - Morning.

Are you following me?

No, I'm taking these files to Mr. Charles's office.

- Derek Charles? - Yeah, I guess you probably know him.

Yeah, I know who he is and he's an asshole.

Takes himself way too seriously. But don't tell him I said that, okay?

- I could get you in trouble? - Oh, yeah. Big trouble.

My lips are sealed.

- Patrick. - Good morning, Derek.

How is the new house?

Chaos, man, chaos. I got out just as the movers showed up.

Sharon must have loved that.

Yeah, if she calls mad, you tell her I'm in a meeting.

Hey. Remember who used to sit at this desk, huh?

She'll know I'm lying.

Can I help you?

That's Derek Charles?

Yes.

Better watch out, girl, he's married.

- The good ones are always married. - Right. Or straight.

Did you talk to our German friend, Herr Ganz?

Actually, I just got off the phone with him.

- And? - He doesn't like the way...

...the stock market's gyrating, thinks the hedge-fund wave is about to crest.

- You think he's right? - No, no. I don't think he's right.

He's wrong. You know Ganz.

He gets paranoid when anything goes mainstream.

So he makes a lot of noise...

...but I managed to talk him into a private-equity portfolio instead.

To the tune of 155 million.

Ben, I want you to throw Derek your support on this one.

I am just honoured to exist in Derek's world.

Whose legs are those?

- Never seen them before. - I think she's a new temp.

I think you mean temptress.

Always nice to have a girl around the office, isn't it Boys?

Derek married the last eye candy we had, took her off the market.

Yes, sir. Miss us a little Sharon around here.

I don't think you do.

- Patrick, forward my calls. - Will do.

- Okay. Good night, Marge. - Bye, Derek.

D, you cutting out early? I grabbed us a couple tickets to the Lakers tonight.

You're killing me. I'm in a midlle of a moving man.

- I gotta get home. - So?

So do I look like a man who wants to get a divorce?

Why don't I call her and say we got a work emergency?

Come on!

- No, thanks, I'll stay married. - Coward.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Mr. Charles.

- You punked me. - I'm sorry, but you set me up.

I'll get my revenge. You might like to know...

...that everybody disagrees with you. - About what?

About Derek Charles being an asshole.

They say he's the nicest guy in the firm.

Yeah, well, I've got them fooled.

I'm Lisa, by the way.

Hey Lisa By the way Good luck at your next job.

Hold the door, please.

They're keeping me on for a few more days...

...so I might see you on Monday.

Sharon!

Your turn.

No, I think it's your turn!

Don't even try it. It's definitely your turn.

Looks like I'm stuck, huh?

Huh, Kyle?

Come here.

Oh, my God. What is your mom feeding you?

What do you think about giving that magic mirror another test drive?

Sharon, you're so bad.

Like that's not why you married me.

- Morning, Marge. - Morning, Derek.

Hi.

Remember me?

Lisa By The Way, right?

Very good, I'm impressed.

Hey, Marge, where's Patrick?

Out with the flu.

I did some trading with the other temps...

...and I wrangled your desk.

I hope that's okay.

No, that's fine. Why don't you grab a pad and a pen, follow me?

Here's a memo for the Christmas party this Friday.

- Is it that time already? - Yeah.

Sit down.

So why don't they invite spouses?

What?

To the party. It says no spouses.

Yeah, it's Joe Gage's rule. Actually, it's like that at a lot of companies.

I guess they figure you're not gonna kick back and let loose...

...if your spouse is there. The reason of having the party, right?

- So does this party get pretty wild? - Oh, not usually.

Well, that's no fun.

I called Patrick. He said that you like it black with two sugars.

If it's cold, I can go nuke it in the kitchen.

No, actually, it's perfect. Thank you very much. Let's get started.

- Ready when you are. - It's Monday.

- First things first. - Took care of that.

Took care of what?

On Mondays you always send your wife flowers.

This week you sent her a dozen long-stemmed red roses.

I called to confirm they've been delivered.

Thank you.

So how long have you two been married?

Three years in March.

And you still send her flowers every week. Lucky girl.

Yeah, it's kind of a tradition.

Patrick said that you started back when she was your assistant.

sounds you and Patrick had quite a conversation.

- Let's run some calls. - Fire away.

Why don't we start with Phil Trendle?

See if you can get a lunch appointment next week...

...but push for The Water Grill. I like the fish.

- The Water Grill's fantastic. - Terry Mills.

- Am I going too fast? - I'm just waiting on you.

Are you always this efficient?

Does that surprise you?

Yeah. Yeah, most of the temps we get here, they're like...

I think you'll find I'm not your typical temp.

We were at the grocery store, I look over...

...and Kyle is flirting with the checkout girl.

She's about 16, and he's 2.

He was giving her the same look you give when you see a pretty girl.

I think you've been teaching my baby how to flirt. Like father, like son.

So, anyway, on the way home, I stopped by campus today...

... and I pick ed up a catalogue for next semester's curriculum.

Let me tell you, I cannot wait.

Do you need me?

I'm gonna show it to you tonight. I need your opinion on my courses.

Are you listening to me?

Baby.

If I bundle Managerial Economics and Operations Management...

...then I won't take Management Information Systems...

...until next semester, right?

School?

- Derek. - It's like an online degree?

Come on, baby, not tonight. You know this is important to me.

Well, it's important to me too...

...but I was kind of hoping you liked being a mom, staying home with Kyle.

You know I love being a mom.

We got all this room. I make enough money for you and I to...

It's not about the money.

We had an agreement.

You said that you'd work hard, I'd have the baby, you'd get your promotion.

Then I'd get my degree.

- I said that? - Yes, you did.

You have something to talk about when you get home.

I need some things to talk about it too.

- So Kyle's gonna be an only child? - Let's get him a puppy.

A female that looks like your side of the family...

...and tell him it's his sister. - Can we call her Little Sharon?

Hey, Little Sharon. Come here.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

You know what, I wanna see you say that in front of her face.

D? Why didn't you call me back today?

- What time did you call? - Around 4.

- You should leave a message. - I did leave a message.

Oh, Patrick was sick, and, you know, the temp...

We had a temp and she said...

...Shannon called but didn't leave a number.

She? I thought we had an agreement, no female assistants.

Baby, I don't control temp availability.

Is she pretty?

Pretty plain.