Last Man Standing

Why aren't you dressed?

Well, brunch isn't till 10:00.

Right, but then we go early, we get a table close to the buffet, right?

'Cause you can't sit right at it.

We learned that at Sizzler.

Just call Kristin and ask her to save us a table.

I mean, we have some pull.

She created the whole thing. We created her...

Nah.

Nah, then she's got bigger fish to fry... literally.

This seafood buffet she created is amazing.

It's like the ocean just puked all over a table.

I know why you want to go early.

- The brunch is her baby... - No.

...she's your baby.

You want to make sure everything goes okay.

What are you talking? She's got this all covered.

She's doing a great job.

She was at work last night till 1:00 A.M.

Yeah, and how do you know that?

I was just there, you know, making sure the lobsters don't claw her.

I don't trust those rubber bands.

- Honey... - They're very, very small.

It is okay to admit that you want to protect your daughter.

- It's sweet. - I'm not protecting her.

I just want to make sure the brunch goes okay.

Yeah, that's called protecting.

Oh. Hey, you guys.

Um... I've got this thing.

It's a... sore-throat thing.

Mm-hmm.

So, uh, yeah...

I'm not gonna be able to go to church today.

We're not going to church.

Today is Kristin's first brunch.

Oh, wait. Oh, my God!

Hold on.

I'm all better!

I'm healed! Yes!

Wow, that's a miracle. (Chuckles)

Praise the Lord.

You know, maybe you can go to church next Sunday,

and you can thank him personally.

Okay. I'm gonna go get dressed.

I have the perfect brunch outfit.

It says I'm here to pick up my food, look fabulous, and judge others.

Mandy, hey.

You can't be late for this, okay?

I know you'd like to make an entrance, but today's your sister's big day.

Let her shine.

Okay, fine, but who just got over a really brave battle with illness?

Why do her fake illnesses give me a real headache?

I'm gonna get ready. I'll meet you there.

All right. Doll yourself up.

You're competing with scallops wrapped in bacon.

About time, Mikey.

Yeah, I'm the worst.

Coming in an hour early on my day off.

Thanks for being here.

Hey, no problem.

If I was home, I'd be watching TV.

Here, I'm watching like eight TVs, and I get overtime.

You know, this whole concept of brunch doesn't make any sense to me.

Well...

I mean, you get breakfast and lunch and you charge 'em once.

Who's the genius that came up with that idea?

I think it was Einstein's brother Melvin.

Very creative family.

You got to relax here.

Kris did a lot of research before she pitched this buffet idea to us.

Our customers are gonna love this.

Yeah? Yeah, maybe too much.

If you haven't noticed, they tend to be on the large side.

Well, you know...

They take "all you can eat" as a challenge.

Go in your office, do something to take your mind off it.

When was the last time you checked your ex-wife's Facebook page?

Yesterday.

Yeah, don't worry about this.

Kris has got this all taken care of.

Mikey, please, I'm counting on you to keep an eye on things.

If this is a disaster, we're done with brunch.

I don't need to keep an eye on anything.

Ha! Yeah.

Show me the restaurant.

On it.

Uh, the buffet's all iced and ready to go.

Uh-huh.

There's us looking at the monitors.

That's useless.

I can't... What's Kyle doing on the loading dock?

Enhance that for me.

"Enhance"?

This isn't "CSI" Baxter.

I can make it bigger.

Looks like he's opening a bag of cat food.

Oh, good.

He's feeding stray cats 100 feet from a seafood buffet.

What goes on in that kid's head? I don't know.

If you got close enough, you'd probably hear

a wind-up monkey playing the cymbals.

Hey, Kyle! Kyle! What the hell are you doing?

You said you didn't want stray cats eating out of the Dumpster.

Problem solved.

Now you're luring feral cats to a seafood buffet.

Oh, no. They're not feral anymore.

I named them.

Well, of course you did.

Tell you what...

Get rid of the food and the bowl, close the loading dock door.

Yes, sir.

And you know what?

Think of taking a day off now and then.

You're killing me.

Isabella: Kyle, get your lazy ass over here!

Hang on, Isabella.

Hi, Mom!

Hey!

Hi!

Wow!

Wow, Kristin, this is incredible.

I know. Isn't it?

We have smoked Pacific Coho sal...

Ah, ah! Don't touch it...

Alaskan king crab. Don't touch.

And, my personal favorite, local rainbow tr...

Don't!

But I'm hungry.

Have some ice.

Honey, I know how hard you've been working on this.

I mean, you did an amazing job.

Yeah, she's been practically living here.

Uh, by the way, I'm Ryan, your husband.

And that little guy you were just talking to is your son.

Ha, ha.

Can we talk about this at home?

Sure, but first, let's have the most important brunch in the entire world.

Hey, come on. You guys don't bicker like this.

Something is fishy.

Ryan is upset because he thinks I've been spending too much time at work.

You slept here last night.

I didn't get the room finished until 2:00,

and the food truck's coming at 6:00, okay?

It's not like I was at the spa.

This morning I showered with the sprayer we use to wash the vegetables.

This brunch has been taking over your life.

I mean, we moved into a new house, and you haven't even met the neighbors.

They think I'm a widower.

We are up to our eyeballs in casseroles.

Hey, guys, let's not ruin this special day by being... crabby.

All right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Just, I see food and...

Ha! I made a joke!

Oh!

I've gone too far now.

Hey, your family's here.

Great.

And that shy busboy finally had the guts to ask out that cute waitress.

What?

You watch 'em all day, you can't help but care.

Just keep an eye on Kyle, will ya?

Make sure he doesn't do something else really stupid.

Uh, Baxter...

That didn't take long.

He left the door open.

Oh, great.

Now I have a warehouse full of cats, and I hate cats.

Dogs are right.

Well, don't worry about the cats.

They probably ran away when they saw this guy.

Is that a bear?

Yeah.

You want me to enhance it?

Mike: I got to get my family out of the grill.

And I'll call Parks and Wildlife,

and let them know we have a bear in the warehouse.

A bear?

Oh, shoot! I forgot to close that door!

Well, the good news is I'm not mad at you about the cats anymore.

I want you to go down to the kitchen, get all the staff up here quietly.

You don't want to panic them.

I don't want anybody panicked!

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

I heard yelling.

Is there trouble with the brunch?

No! No! No!

Uh, Chuck was asking for a raise.

Shut that down, Mikey.

That's right. Hey.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

How are things going at the new house?

Uh, pretty good.

Boyd has been helping me with the decorating.

You know what 10-year-old boys suck at?

- Decorating. - Decorating.

Yeah, he did the living room in early American "Star Wars."

Well, I'm sorry, Kristin.

When you move back in, we will change it.

Can you believe him?

Kind of.