MASH - Sixth Season (M*A*S*H)

Get her down right over there.

Hawkeye? Yeah?

Take a look at this. Oh, dear.

What do you think? You'd better dress those burns stat.

Get Winchester to cover for you out here. Get her into pre‐op.

Start a saline I. V.

Pierce. There's a child in that car with a dislocated clavicle.

Get him inside and have him x‐rayed right away. I'll check him in a second.

Just get him inside. Colonel, the principle of triage...

is to take the neediest first, not the best dressed.

What's the problem? What makes her think I have to take a clavicle before something else?

She didn't. I told you.

I got a busted femur here. When do I take her?

What are you getting so cranky about? You do the femur first, then do the clavicle.

Just get to the kid as soon as you can.

Pierce?

You called, mon Colonel?

Madame Min's mother's back at her estate. She needs medical attention.

‐This is all pretty light stuff. I think we can spare you. ‐Mm‐hmm.

Well, possibly I could stop by around 6:00‐ish on my way to the club for a sherry.

I'll explain to you later what an ass you're making of yourself.

Park your carcass in that car. Thank you.

If Scott and Zelda drop by, have them wait by the pool.

Nice wheels.

I guess this heap must've set you back quite a bundle, huh?

You don't talk much, do you?

I know it's very lower class of me to get upset, but when the local countess...

butts in on a line of sick people, I get a fast case of rising gorge.

When a person you love is in pain, it is very hard to wait.

‐ They're all in pain, lady. ‐

This is it? This is the estate?

Yes. As you can see, many artillery shells fall short of the mark.

Tell her I have a diploma and everything.

She wants me to change into my everyday clothes. I'll be right back.

Okay. Let's see what we got here.

Look. I'm a doctor. See?

This is Lieutenant Gleason. She's just been transferred from Tokyo.

Hi. I'm Peggy. I'm Bobbie. Why don't you help change this?

I'll show you your tent later. Yes, Major.

Come on over here and put one of these on. No use getting dirty.

Ooh. Things really move fast around here.

Five o'clock this morning, I was dancing down the Ginza...

with a lieutenant colonel under one arm and a bottle of hot sake in the other.

A farewell party, huh? Yeah.

Must've been tough leaving Tokyo to come here. Well, I'll tell you,

I was glad to get away from that dimwit colonel.

All hands and no brains. Let's hold down the chat, Lieutenant.

Major, that is the last you'll hear from me about old Donald Dimwit.

Old Donald? Yeah. What a cluck.

‐ What? ‐ Major, I'm sure it couldn't have been your Donald.

Well, of course not! What was his last name?

Uh, well, we didn't actually get to know each other on a last‐name basis.

Ohh. But he was a cluck?

Uh, well, in an amusing sort of way. Uh‐huh.

Major, don't you think we oughta change this dressing? Right. And later on,

you can tell us all about Donald Cluck.

What'll I do now? Just keep away from her for a couple of days.

Gleason, you're at my table. And watch out for the scalpels.

I think your mother may have pneumonia. I gave her some medication,

but there's really not much to do but let it take its course.

I'll come back tomorrow to see how she's doing. Thank you, Doctor.

That your daughter?

No. She and her mother lost their home in an air raid.

Her father died a year ago in the war.

We had some room, so I just asked them to stay with us.

What about the others here? The same? Yes. The same.

Eight people stay with us.

How do you manage? Not so bad.

We have some chickens for eggs. We grow vegetables in the garden.

There's a well about a mile away where we get water.

You haul water from a mile away? How can you do that?

That's where the water is.

I guess I owe you an apology, huh? For what?

Can I help with anything? Can I get you some medicine, some clothing, some food?

I wanna make up for some of those wonderful things I said before.

Do you speak any French? Just a petit peu.

You need something translated? No.

I just want to hear it again. I studied in Paris when I was young.

And then there was the very intelligent man from our village,

a doctor, used to come to the house.

We would talk in French about art, literature.

He's gone now, huh?

All the men in the village are gone, except the very old and the very young.

These people are very dear to me,

but no one here know La Rochefoucauld.

Isn't he the one who said, "Evil to him who evil thinks"?

"Honi soit qui mal y pense"? Yeah.

No. No. Well, then, I don't know who he is either.

You know, you have a fantastic attitude. That you can go...

through all of this and still smile is wonderful.

I guess nothing is all that bad unless you think it is.

You do know La Rochefoucauld. I do?

That's from one of his poems. Oh.

"One is only as happy or unhappy as one imagines."

You know, uh‐‐

Je suis poulet á la poetry.

What? What did you mean to say?

That I'm pulled toward poetry.

What did I say? You said you was a chicken.

Nice‐looking taxi driver. That's a fantastic woman.

You know, she's taken in a bunch of widows and kids to live with her?

That's why I put her at the head of the line. Why didn't you tell me?

Because when they make you a colonel,

they take the bone out of your head that makes you explain orders.

We're gonna drink your whiskey. You wanna join us? As long as you're buying.

You think she'd be willing to see me again and again and again and again?

Is this your heart going thumpity‐thumpity‐thump? Oh, do yourself a favor.

Don't fall in love during a war. Why shouldn't he?

Because war is cruel. For every hello, there are two good‐byes.

I wonder if she'd go out to dinner with me? Love and war don't mix.

The rockets' red glare is no candlelit supper.

You realize you're talking to the post?

I might as well. I ain't gettin' anywhere with him.

Aha! Mm.

Your hands are for surgery.

Would you have dinner with me?

Would you like to share our evening meal with us? No. I mean, let's have dinner.

Let's go out.

Where? Uncle Ho's. We can eat by candlelight.

Uncle Ho has been bombed out for six months.

I know. You can always get a table there now.

[ Both Speaking Korean ] No. It's all right.

We're finished. We're done. Tell her we're done.

Okay. Rest up. Rest up.

Come on. What do you say? We can take our own food.

We'll get a break from the war. I'll pick you up tomorrow night around 7:00, okay?

Okay.

If you touch one of my artichoke hearts, I will cut out yours.

Charles, I met somebody who means a great deal to me, and I want this to be special.

Please? All right.

Here. With my compliments.

And have a really romantic evening, Pierce.

Wild boar goulash? That s‐‐ sounds really, uh, interesting.

Oh, mm‐mmm. The can's a bit swollen. You better have her taste it first.

I think I'll try the Mess Tent.

I hope our table's ready. I hate waiting at the bar.

You'll love this place. It's so informal.

Designed by the famous Italian architect, Al Fresco.

Candlelight. Violin music.

What is that? Beethoven.

It's the only violin music I had. Nice.

I brought some kimchi and some dried fish.

I hope you like dried fish. I love dried fish.

I hope you love pork and beans.

‐ What's the matter? ‐ I'm afraid.

‐ Of what? ‐ That this will go too far.

That I will feel something I haven't felt in a long time.

Kyung Soon, I'm touched by you.

By the way you sit in a bombed‐out house and make jokes in French.

Even by the way you yank vegetables out of the ground and carry water from a mile away.

And I like the way you pat the chickens when you take their eggs away.

And your eyes have shot their arrows into my heart.

‐ That's from Dante. ‐ I know. I got that out of...

a Classic Comics edition of The Divine Comedy.

I thought it wouldn't hurt to throw it in. So how about me? You think I'm cute?

I'm touched by you, too, because you care about my people,