The Big Bang Theory

What you doing?

You said clean up.

I'm cleaning up.

You can't just throw everything in the closet.

Hey, you can tell me

what to do or you can tell me how to do it,

but you can't do both; this isn't sex.

What if someone looks in there?

They're just coming over for dinner.

No one's gonna look in the closet.

Well, you don't know that.

What if someone's looking for the bathroom

and they open that door?

Could work out.

For all we know,

there's a toilet in there somewhere.

Fine. But after tonight,

we need to get a handle on this mess.

You know what we should do?

We should show the closet to Sheldon.

Why?

Are you kidding?

He's like a savant at organizing.

Everything in his apartment has a label on it.

Including his label maker, which has a label

that says "Label Maker."

And if you look really close at that label maker label,

you'll see a label that says "Label."

He's our guest; we can't just ask him

to straighten our closet.

No, we wouldn't ask him.

We'd just show him the closet

and let the goblins in his head take it from there.

Hey, guys, come on in.

Hi. Hi.

Ooh, it smells good. Thanks.

And, Sheldon, I know tonight's the night you eat Thai food,

so I went to the Asian market, got all the ingredients

and made it from scratch.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

No, you really shouldn't have.

I brought my own.

You stopped and got him takeout?

I had no choice.

He kept kicking the back of my seat.

Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.

Well... now don't you feel silly.

Show him the closet.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

These spring rolls are amazing.

Good job, Bernadette.

That's the takeout that Sheldon brought.

Oh, well, I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted

nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first.

Howard, did you want your clothes arranged

seasonally or by color?

Color's fine.

Wrong, they'll be arranged seasonally.

Sheldon, aren't you gonna spend a little time with Amy?

Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it.

The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an hour

optimizing the cheese aisle.

Yeah, and some thanks I got.

The assistant manager chased me out

with an artisanal salami.

His quirks just make you love him more.

Someone please agree with me.

Sheldon, come on.

It's getting late. Time to go.

Oh, five more minutes.

That's what you said five minutes ago.

Amy and Penny are already in the car.

Let's move it.

How come I never get to do anything I want to do?

You know, if he really wants to stay and finish,

I can give him a ride home.

Please, Leonard! He said it's okay!

Sheldon, it's--

Wait, I can go home without you? Bye!

Howard, I have a few questions.

I found three bowling pins.

Now, do you juggle these, or are you missing seven?

Juggle.

You health nuts kill me.

Oh, my God, it's beautiful!

Look, he found the juggling pins I hid.

Uh, just a couple more items.

Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box.

Now, based on the content,

it could either be filed...

Whoa, you opened this?

Well, I had to find out if it was personal correspondence

or memorabilia. Now, as I was saying,

based on the content... I couldn't be less interested.

Now, come on, I'll take you home.

Howard, don't you want to know what's in the letter?

If I wanted to know, I would've opened it years ago.

The closet looks great.

Let's get out of here.

Wait, can I bring this box

of extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride?

Do whatever you want.

Thanks.

Oh.

Great party.

You know, when I first met Howard,

he would pull his scrotum out of his shorts

and say, "Oh, I sat in gum."

What is your point?

Well, it's just kind of weird how grown up he is now.

Happily married guy throwing dinner parties.

Really? You couldn't just say that?

You had to tell the scrotum story?

Trying to paint a picture.

Yeah, it was a nice change of pace

not eating takeout around a coffee table.

Mm, you know, we could throw a dinner party, too.

Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.

Sure.

Just, when you say "dressed up,"

you mean nice clothes, right?

Not, like, capes and tights and crap?

Yeah.

Although...

No!

Howie, you okay?

Yeah, I just... couldn't sleep.

Told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner.

I know the little cups make you feel big,

but it's not worth it.

It's this stupid letter.

Did you read it?

No.

You must be curious.

Of course I'm curious.

I haven't seen the man since,

oh, I was a little kid.

And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday?

What's that about?

Why don't you read it?

Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left.

He abandoned me and my mother.

Why does he deserve a chance to explain anything?

I get that.

So, what do you want to do with it?

Something I should've done a long time ago.

Really? Are you sure?

Yep.

Feel better?

I do.

Great.

Neither one of us is tall enough to reach that.

I can't believe he set it on fire.

Yeah, just seeing that letter really freaked him out.

And he was already having a tough day

'cause he accidentally wore my pants to work.

I don't know why he was upset.

They were bigger on him than me.

Boy, I'm really curious what's in that letter.

Me, too, but I guess now we'll never know.

Well, you said Sheldon read it.

Why not ask him?

I can't do that.

What kind of wife would I be

if I didn't respect my husband's privacy?

What if I ask Sheldon,

you just happen to be in the room?

That works. Okay.

Blech.

Like cleaning out the entire building's belly button.

Hey, Sheldon.

Oh, hello. What can I do for you ladies?

You have something we want.

Oh, dear.

My mother warned me

this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.

No, we just want information.

Oh.

Oh, I've got that in spades.

Ravage me.

We heard you read the letter from Howard's father.

I did.

What did it say?

Yeah...

I can't tell you that.

I'm bound by closet organizer/ organizee confidentiality.

Sheldon, that's not a real thing.

Well, neither is the rule that you have to

hold your girlfriend's hand at the movies.

You know.

That doesn't stop you from pawing at me

like you're a bear and I'm a trash can full of sweets.

Why do you even care?

Just tell us what it says.

Control over the information contained in that letter

belongs to Howard.

By happenstance,

I came to know it.

That doesn't give me the right to disseminate it freely.