Everyone Says I Love You

# Just you #

# Just me #

# Let's find a cozy spot #

# Where no one can see #

# Just us #

# Just we #

# We've missed an awful lot #

# What bliss it'll be #

# Oh, gee #

# What are your charms for #

# What are my arms for #

# Use your imagination #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# We'll tie a lover's knot #

# Just say you love me #

# Just he #

# Just she #

# And what a perfect plot #

# Just say you love me #

# Oh, gee #

# Oh, my It's finally springtime #

- # Ooo # - # Birds on the wing-time #

# And what a lovely day for love #

- # Just me # - # Just you #

- # Just you # - # Just me #

# A bit of paradise #

# Right here for us two #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# Let's find a cozy spot #

# Where no one can see #

- # Just us # - # Just the two of us #

- # Just we # - # Mighty few of us #

# We've missed an awful lot #

# What bliss it'll be #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# We'll tie a lover's knot #

# Just say you love me ##

That's my sister Skylar and her boyfriend Holden.

And that's me. Well, I'm Djuna. D-J-U-N-A.

Oh, and everyone calls me D.J.

Now, I'm gonna level with ya.

We are not the typical kind of family you'd find in a musical comedy.

For one thing, we got dough.

And we live right here on Park Avenue in a big apartment; a penthouse.

Dad's a lawyer. I mean, I call him "Dad," but actually he's stepdad.

There's original Dad who married Mom and they had me.

And there's stepdad. Well, he had two kids with his first wife when...

Look, maybe this is all getting a little confusing.

You see, there's Lane and Laura.

Those are my half-sisters, and they're really great.

A little twitty at times, but we love each other...

and we have a million laughs together.

And, of course, my stepbrother Scott, who's very smart...

but currently on the outs with the family...

because he's become a conservative Republican...

which has caused my stepfather to have a stroke...

since we're all liberal Democrats.

How can you expect people on welfare...

to develop any sort of incentives if they're getting handouts?

What are you saying? Somebody who can't work for one reason or another has to be discarded?

Welfare does not work. It's the same outmoded liberal fantasy world...

as affirmative action, not allowing school prayer and coddling of criminals.

I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my own flesh and blood.

Unless some large Republican pea pods are in the basement and have taken over your body.

Not pods, Dad. Ideas.

Virile, modern ideas.

A strong America. The right to bear arms.

- Arms? What are you... Guns? - Yes!

Are you crazy? What the hell is the matter with you? I don't understand you anymore.

- Why... Wait a minute. Excuse me. - Relax, Bob.

Steffi, bring down a copy of my will and an eraser, okay?

If Dad's a liberal Democrat,

then you'd have to say Mom is the one thing more extreme.

She's a guilty liberal Democrat.

Well, he grew up poor and he knows what it is to work like a dog.

But Mom came from money and luxury...

and, you know, spends all her time doing volunteer work for everybody.

She's with the American Civil Liberties Union and Save the Whales...

and she raises dough for the Whitney Museum and Lenox Hill Hospital.

She's always got something going,

like throwing some chic soiree to help the New York Philharmonic.

##

##

Lane and Laura go to Nightingale,

which is this ritzy school on East 92nd Street.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, there he is.

- He is so gorgeous. - Who is he?

We don't know, but we always see him around this neighborhood.

- She's in love from afar. - I'm sure we can think of a way to get her to meet him.

Please, no humiliating schemes.

You guys, my mom is in there with a patient.

Claire's their best friend. Her mom's a shrink on Central Park West.

Years ago, Claire drilled a secret hole in the wall,

and we get our kicks after school sometimes kinda tuning in on her clientele.

I've been having these fantasies about... other men,

and, uh... you know,

it makes me feel bad and, um,

you know, guilty.

Oh, I ha... Um, I had that elevator dream... again.

And, um, I'm in the elevator...

and... it just keeps going up...

and up and up.

Now you have to meet Grandpa.

Eighty-eight years old.

Found him at Grand Central Station.

- He thought he was at the Botanical Gardens. - Thanks.

You have to keep your eye on him.

Last year he wandered out of the bathroom in a towel...

and got on line in Times Square.

We had to send Frieda to get him back. Oh, she's our maid.

Personally, I think she was Hitler's maid at Berchtesgaden,

but she's the only one who can handle Grandpa.

I found your arch supports in the stew! Whatever were they doing in the stew?

- Hi, Grandpa. Hi, Frieda. -

Finally, there's my dad, who lives in Paris but visits a lot.

You see, he and my stepdad are great friends.

And if you ask me, he still has a crush on Mom, although they've been divorced for years.

They're all friends, though, and they come to each other with problems.

I can't believe it. Giselle left me.

Look at this face. She left me with my best friend, suddenly, out of left field.

- She didn't give any warning? - Nothing at all. Look at that.

Did you ever see anything... I'm so distraught over this, I can't tell you.

- I'm gonna kill myself. - Ohhh.

I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead.

In fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier,

which would be perfect.

Or... Wait a minute. With the time change,

I could be alive for six hours in New York, but dead three hours in Paris.

- Sit down. Relax. - I could get things done and I could also be dead.

You didn't hear the signs. She must've given you some signs, Joe.

What do you think I am, an idiot? What kind of signs you think she gave me?

I found this photo in her underwear drawer? She muttered his name when making love?

- I'm not talking about that. - No, that's what happened.

- What? Joe! - I didn't see it. I couldn't put it together.

I'm really glad you didn't marry her. I told you, don't do it.

- I would've been happy to marry her. - I'm really glad.

You want a glass of something? Some wine?

I'll take anything. I gotta have a drink. Know what the sad part is?

- I thought everything was going well. - You always pick the wrong women.

- Hey, I picked you. - Yeah, we got divorced.

- 'Cause you were impossible to live with. - I was impossible to live with?

I love this. You couldn't figure out whether you wanted to be...

a psychoanalyst or a writer.

So, I compromised. I became a writer and a patient.

We're gonna find you somebody. We... We know a lot of people.

- Can't we find somebody? - I've been trying since we got divorced...

to find the right woman for him, somebody to match up with his personality.

But I'm beginning... Honey, bring another glass.

I'm beginning to wonder if the world population of women isn't too limited.

- Thank you. - Well, I mean...

- You've had really bad luck. - No, he hasn't. He's had an unerring sense of poor choice.

And the question is, does he want to spend his golden years with somebody or not?

- What, are you into my golden years suddenly? - Yes.

- You have to think about those things. - Men age differently than women.

- Two more years, I'm gonna look like your son. - Oh, that was so mean.

- - Don't you laugh.

Don't talk about my golden years. She's got me in a home already.

What about Madeline? After me.

Madeline was won... Madeline was an archaeologist. She was fabulous.

Madeline was a nymphomaniac.

Yeah, okay, she had a little problem with fidelity.

- I didn't happen to see it. But she was a brilliant woman. - What about Carol?

Remember Carol what's-her-name?

- Carol was a poet, and a member of MENSA. - She was a heroin addict.

She was also a heroin addict, but I thought it was insulin.

- You know what the problem is? Listen. - This is the problem.

- He's still in love with you. I've always said this. - Oh, honey.

Who can blame him? Of course he is.

- Ah, come here. Come here, my two men. - That's the problem.

Two men. I'm pining after Giselle.

We're gonna get somebody who's nearly normal.

I don't know if we're gonna get somebody. This is the problem.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey. What's all the secrecy about? Why Harry Winstons?

Listen... I want you to help me pick out an engagement ring for Skylar.

- Congratulations. - Thanks.

So, you're looking for an engagement ring?

We're getting married.

Uh, I'm getting married. Not to her.

Now, what size did you have in mind?

- What size? - Uh-huh.

Oh, um... Well, she's not huge.

I mean, she's not bony either. She's got flesh.

Something simple, but elegant?

- That's it. - Simple, but elegant. Exactly.

- Like this one. - Oh, my God, that's beautiful. That is beautiful.

- Look at that. - That's the mos beautiful thing I ever saw. Hello.

So, what is that gonna cost me? I like it.

- Fifty-five thousand. - Fifty-five thousand dollars, you say?

Uh, well, let me take this off then because...

I don't think that... Actually, as I look at it, it's really...

To Skylar's taste, it's kind of... tacky. She's not a mafia bride.

- Will you help me out? - Here's a lovely one.

- That is... That is pretty. - Pretty simple.

Well, I don't...

What is that gonna cost me? About fifteen-hundred, 2,000?

- Eight thousand. - Eight thousand dollars.