One Cut Two Cut

Dear Gopi,

My son!

For me, in my life, I desired just two things.

One, you get a good job,

the other one is for you to get married.

In college, you took arts and crafts,

and you ruined both my desires.

Thanks!

In everyone's life there will be difficulties.

But someone seeking pain voluntarily,

I'm seeing it for the first time.

God gave you a good heart

but if he gave you a brain,

it would have been so much better.

Anyways, I hope you make the cut.

God bless.

-That show was horrible. -Yeah, dude, don't ask about it.

Hey, macha, macha.

Ay, Gopi.

With your paper and scissors you can make one Bullet for yourself, no, da?

Leave ra, macha, in his horoscope it's written,

his b** will never touch a Bullet.

See how he is going.

Go, go.

Who is this?

Shorty? There's no Shorty here.

What do you want?

Is it open or what?

Greetings to you, Madam, myself is an Gopi.

I am the new professor of Arts and Crafts,

reporting for work to teach the children

the joys of arts and crafts.

How you'll give joy?

Hello? Yes, khulla. Open.

Wow. Are you an Hindi Teacher?

Madam, is the Principal not in today?

He comes only when he’s in the mood.

So, doesn’t he have mood today?

Come, I'll show you your class.

Oh! Madam, no one comes for classes?

No one is sending their children to school.

All the children who come, we put them in one room.

Moreover, there are no other teachers.

Just the two of us have been managing.

Come.

Silence.

Stop shouting.

Stay quiet.

Look... Please come this side.

This is your 'hearts' and crafts teacher.

-Arts and Crafts. -Just say that only.

Greetings to one and all.

Myself is an Gopi,

and I am your Arts and Crafts professor.

Good luck to you. Don't take any tension.

Hey, you as well.

Don't take any tension.

Hey, kids.

Students.

Young learners.

Young thespians.

Future of our country.

Wow!

An solar cooker.

Hey, Siddu, look there.

Shh!

Sir, can you give me that paper bird?

Oh!

You want

this bird?

Or...

You want this flower?

Wow!

This is the reason I've come here

to teach you all about arts and crafts.

So, students...

-Silence. -Shh!

One cut, two cut,

an flower is came,

Three cut, four cut,

What is became?

One cut, two cut,

an flower is came,

-Three cut, four cut... -Three cut, four cut...

-What is became? -What is became?

You haven’t left as yet?

Come on, I'm asking you.

I have quit my job.

What?

Why?

Oh, in these times,

who listens to the radio?

That, too...

That too, the late night shows.

Even if anyone was listening or not

you were getting a salary, right?

I'm talking to you.

Come on, this is the digital age, Parvathi.

In the analog age,

only anal people live.

Look,

the Supreme court has given comedian Kunal Kumar a notice.

Now,

the whole world knows him.

Nobody knows me.

I'm just a voice.

Everyone knows you at the radio station, right?

Getting a job in that radio station

was the worst thing that happened in my life.

You're just saying anything now.

You know who else applied for that job?

Yes, yes, I've heard it a thousand times.

Amitabh Bachchan had applied

and the people at the radio station rejected him and selected you instead.

On that day

if they had rejected me

and selected Amitabh Bachchan instead,

all these posters would have had my name.

Pruthviraj in Don,

Pruthviraj in Coolie,

Pruthviraj in Deewaar,

Pruthviraj in Mard.

What Coolie?

You can't even manage the responsibilities of this house.

And you can't even speak Hindi properly.

Now, if it was Telugu--

You know Telugu?

Do you know? Tell me?

Don't bring up this topic again, I've told you.

It's time to take destiny into my hands.

How are you going to do that?

What plans do you have?

This tweet.

A few hours ago,

one of my tweets went viral.

Now my followers will grow.

Tomorrow, I've called for a protest.

All the world's media will be there.

And the entire country will be watching me.

I'll become a real star.

Till now on television

He kept asking questions.

Now I will answer,

at the box office.

Hey Komala, where are you going?

Good morning, sir.

There's a protest going on near town hall.

We are going there to cover it.

Protest? I didn’t know there was one.

Yes, sir, I just got news.

We should be first to break the news.

Okay, go and come back.

Madam,

off late, why does Murthy sir keep banging his hands?

Oh, that?

That's tapping. It's called EFT.

Emotional freedom technique.

The poor guy is trying to quit smoking.

Freedom.

Ban plastic.

Save the turtles.

Freedom.

Freedom.

Freedom.

Freedom.

Ban plastic.

Save the turtles.