Embrace

35-YEAR-OLD TARYN BRUMFITT IS MAKING WAVES

ONLINE FOR HER SERIES OF POST-BABY BODY PHOTOS.

SHE LEARNED TO LOVE HER OWN BODY,

AND NOW SHE'S ON A MISSION TO HELP OTHERS DO THE SAME.

SHE'S BARING ALL TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN

TO ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE THEIR BODIES.

TARYN POSTED THE PICTURES AS PART OF HER CAMPAIGN

TO TACKLE NEGATIVE BODY IMAGES.

SHE SAYS THAT AFTER THE BIRTH OF HER THIRD CHILD

SHE BECAME OBSESSED WITH GETTING BACK

TO HER PRE-PREGNANCY BODY.

IT WAS JUST THIS ORDINARY SUNDAY

AND I WAS HANGING OUT WITH SOME GIRLFRIENDS

AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OUR BODIES.

AND THEY WERE SAYING THAT THEY WERE STRUGGLING

WITH THEIR CHANGING BODY AND THEIR AGING BODY.

AND AS I WAS DRIVING HOME I WAS THINKING,

WHAT COULD I DO TO HELP THEM?

SO LATER THAT NIGHT, I PUT A BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOGRAPH

ON FACEBOOK.

WELL, TRADITIONAL BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOGRAPHS,

THERE'S A WOMAN BEFORE,

SHE'S HEAVIER THAN THE AFTER PHOTOGRAPH,

AND SHE'S NOT VERY HAPPY, AND THEN SHE LOSES WEIGHT,

AND THEN SHE'S MIRACULOUSLY HAPPY.

SO MY BEFORE, I SWAPPED THEM.

I KNEW AS SOON AS I POSTED IT THAT IT HIT A NOTE,

BECAUSE ALL OF THE COMPUTERS AND THE PHONES IN THE HOUSE

WERE GOING PING PING PING PING PING.

AND MY HUSBAND, MATT, WHO WAS IN THE LOUNGE ROOM,

YELLS OUT, "WHAT'S GOING ON?"

I'M LIKE, "OH, NOTHING. NOTHING'S HAPPENING."

YEAH, THE NEXT MINUTE TARYN'S GOING,

"IT'S GOING VIRAL."

I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GOING VIRAL?"

SO, YEAH, I RAN IN THE OFFICE AND I SAW THE PICTURE,

I'M LIKE, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THAT?"

AND SHE'S LIKE, "OH, WELL, I PUT IT ON FACEBOOK

AND NOW IT'S GONE VIRAL."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PUT IT ON FACEBOOK?

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONE VIRAL?"

THERE WAS THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE LIKING IT

AND SHARING IT AND COMMENTING IT.

I'M LIKE, "YOU SERIOUSLY, YOU PUT THAT--"

BECAUSE ESSENTIALLY IT WAS, I MEAN, TARYN IN STARK.

ESSENTIALLY, LIKE, TASTEFULLY STARK,

BUT STARK NONE THE LESS.

THAT BEFORE AND AFTER PHOTOGRAPH WENT EVERYWHERE.

IT WAS HEADLINE NEWS IN PARIS, IN LONDON,

IT WAS IN LEBANON, IT WAS IN CANADA,

IT WAS IN THE U.S., IT WAS IN KOREA.

IT WAS EVERYWHERE. IT BROKE PEOPLE'S BRAINS

TO THINK THAT A WOMAN COULD LOVE HER BODY AFTERWARDS.

I MEAN, FOR ME, LIVING THIS REALLY NORMAL LIFE

WITH MY THREE KIDS, WORKING AS A PHOTOGRAPHER,

AND THEN HAVING A RUSSIAN FILM CREW

RUCK UP AND SPEND TWO DAYS WITH ME? I MEAN, THAT'S WEIRD.

HI, I'M TARYN BRUMFITT.

[TRANSLATION IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, IT APPEARED LIKE I WAS

IN A MEDIA WHIRLWIND.

WERE YOU SHOCKED AT THE REACTION THAT YOU GOT

-WHEN YOU POSTED THAT BEFORE AND AFTER? -I WAS.

BUT WHAT NO ONE SAW WAS WHAT WAS HAPPENING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS,

AND THAT WAS ME ON MY EMAIL

UNTIL TWO OR THREE IN THE MORNING

JUST TRYING TO READ THROUGH THE THOUSANDS OF EMAILS

THAT I RECEIVED FROM WOMEN, AND FROM MEN, TOO.

AND THEIR STORIES WERE--

GOSH, THEIR STORIES WERE QUITE HEARTBREAKING.

"I HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND I'VE NEVER SWUM WITH HER,

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WEAR A PAIR OF BATHERS."

"I'VE NOT BEEN INTIMATE WITH MY HUSBAND

FOR THREE YEARS,

BECAUSE I THINK I LOOK DISGUSTING.

HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME,

BUT I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO BE NAKED IN FRONT OF HIM."

"I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD

AND NEVER TOLD ANYONE.

I'VE EATEN AS A WAY TO NUMB THE PAIN,

BUT NOW I'M JUST FAT.

AND NO ONE KNOWS MY STORY

AND EVERYONE JUDGES ME AS IF I'M A LAZY PIG,

AND I'M NOT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE."

SO MANY PEOPLE ASK ME THE QUESTION,

"HOW DID YOU LEARN TO LOVE YOUR BODY

AND WHAT DID YOU DO?"

AND FOR ME, I GUESS IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THAT.

I DIDN'T ALWAYS LOVE MY BODY.

I GREW UP LIKE MOST WOMEN, DIETING, LOSING WEIGHT,

GAINING WEIGHT, THINKING,

"OH, I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE THAT CELLULITE,"

OR, "I WISH I WAS SMALLER HERE,"

WHATEVER IT WAS, BUT IT WAS ALWAYS

A RELATIVELY HEALTHY BODY IMAGE THAT I HAD.

BUT AFTER I HAD MY FIRST CHILD,

IT ALL CHANGED FOR ME.

BEING PREGNANT WAS THE BEST THING EVER.

I LOVED GROWING A BABY.

I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

20 TO THREE?

- IT'S A BOY. - HELLO, BABY.

THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU ARE.

I REMEMBER SHOWERING JUST A FEW HOURS AFTERWARDS,

AND THE BUMP THAT I HAD GROWN TO LOVE FOR ALL THAT TIME,

I LOOKED DOWN, I WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE-- HAS HAPPENED HERE?"

IT WAS JUST THIS JELLY BELLY MESS.

YEAH, WELL, AT FIRST WHEN I SAW IT I THOUGHT,

"TARYN, YOU'VE JUST GIVEN BIRTH.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT FOR NOW,

AND IT'LL GET BETTER."

I EXPECTED IT TO GET BETTER,

BUT I REMEMBER WHEN OLIVER WAS AROUND SIX WEEKS OLD,

I THOUGHT, OKAY, IT'S TIME TO GET MY BODY BACK.

YEAH, I JUMPED ON THE COURT AND PLAYED PRETTY HARD,

AND THEN THERE WAS THIS ONE INTERCEPT THAT I TOOK,

WHERE I FELT SOMETHING WARM RUNNING DOWN MY LEGS.

IT WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."

AND I'D WET MYSELF.

IT WAS DEVASTATING.

OVER THE NEXT THREE YEARS, I HAD ANOTHER TWO BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY CHILDREN,

BUT IN TERMS OF MY BODY, THINGS WENT FROM BAD TO WORSE.

I HAD NIPPLES THE SIZE OF DINNER PLATES.

DURING INTIMATE MOMENTS, MY BREASTS WOULD LEAK.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME I POOED MYSELF

IN FRONT OF MATT BECAUSE MY PELVIC FLOOR WAS SHOT.

I ENDED UP HATING MY BODY.

I FELT LIKE MY BODY WAS BROKEN.

HEADING TO THE SURGEON WAS A REALLY OBVIOUS CHOICE AS A QUICK FIX.

AND WE BOOKED IN THE SURGERY,

AND EVERYTHING I'D BEEN THROUGH,

THE HATING AND THE LOATHING OF MY BODY,

IT WAS ALL GOING TO BE FIXED.

IT WAS SO EXCITING.

AND THEN I WAS WATCHING MIKAELA PLAYING

AND I JUST HAD THIS MOMENT OF, "HOW AM I GOING TO HAVE SURGERY?"

LIKE, WHAT-- WHAT MESSAGE WILL THAT SEND MIKAELA?

WHAT WILL THAT DO FOR HER?

MIKAELA!

-HI! -CHEESE.

CHEESE.

I WANTED HER TO EMBRACE AND LOVE HER BODY JUST AS IT WAS.

AND IT ACTUALLY BROKE MY HEART AS A MOTHER

TO THINK THAT MY CHOICE TO CHANGE MY BODY

MAY SET MIKAELA UP TO WANT TO CHANGE HER BODY, TOO.

AND I LOOK AT HER AND I GO, "YOU'RE PERFECT

NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE."

SO I COULDN'T GO AHEAD WITH THE SURGERY.

I COULDN'T DO IT.

I WANTED TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR HER,

BUT I WAS STILL LEFT IN A BODY THAT I HATED.

FROM THAT MOMENT I HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

I'M STUCK IN THIS HIDEOUS BODY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS A PERSONAL TRAINER,

AND I SAID TO HER ONE DAY,

"I JUST CAN'T GET THIS THOUGHT OUT OF MY HEAD.

WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO HAVE THE PERFECT BODY?

WOULD IT CHANGE ME? WOULD IT MAKE ME HAPPY?"

AND SHE SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU TRAIN

AND ENTER A BODY BUILDING COMPETITION?"

I WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

AND THEN BEFORE I KNEW IT, 5 A.M. I WAS AT THE GYM EVERY MORNING

TRAINING, TRAINING, TRAINING.

AND I CHANGED MY WHOLE DIET AND THE WAY I LIVED.

THERE WAS A LOT OF PERSONAL SACRIFICE,

BUT THERE WAS A LOT OF SACRIFICE FROM MATT

AND THE KIDS, TOO.

FOR 15 LONG WEEKS I WATCHED WHAT I ATE

AND I TRAINED HARD.

AND, YOU KNOW WHAT? I MADE IT.

NUMBER FIVE, TARYN BRUMFITT.

SO STANDING THERE ON STAGE, I EXPECTED TO FEEL

LIKE I HAD ARRIVED AT THE PLACE

THAT I HAD WORKED ALL OF MY LIFE TO GET TO.

I HAD THE PERFECT BIKINI BODY.

IT'S WHAT SO MANY WOMEN THINK ABOUT

AND ARE DRIVEN TO HAVE.

AND IN THAT MOMENT, ALL I COULD THINK WAS,

"TO HAVE WHAT I'VE GOT RIGHT NOW

HAS TAKEN TOO MUCH SACRIFICE,

TOO MUCH TIME, TOO MUCH ENERGY,

TOO MUCH OBSESSION, AND IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT."

I REMEMBER BEING BACKSTAGE

AND LISTENING TO THE CONVERSATIONS

THAT OTHER WOMEN WERE HAVING.

"I WISH I HAD MORE OF THIS. I WISH I HAD LESS OF THAT.

THIS BIT'S NOT GREAT." IT WAS SHOCKING.

IT WAS LIKE, "GOSH, YOU GUYS THINK THIS, TOO."

MUSCLE NUTRITION ADELAIDE CLASSIC.

SO I'M STANDING THERE IN MY MOMENT TO SHINE

IN MY PERFECT BODY, AND I'M NOT HAPPY.

AND SOME OF THE WOMEN AROUND ME WEREN'T HAPPY EITHER.

AND IT GOT ME THINKING, "HOW THE HECK IS ANYONE ELSE

GONNA BE HAPPY WITH THEIR BODY?"

THIS WAS A BIG REVELATION FOR ME,

AND A MAJOR TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE.

SO THE NEXT DAY I GOT UP

AND JUST STARTED MY LIFE AGAIN,

BUT WITH THE FLICK OF THE SWITCH INSIDE MY HEAD,