The Missouri Breaks

The first time I saw this country,

it had buffalo grass and bluejoint up to the stirrups.

By the second year we had 8,000 Texas half-bred cattle

and over 3,500 volumes of English literature in my library.

We just cut out the unbranded stock

and divided 'em up between the outfits.

There was no arguin' over mavericks like today.

You got it good today.

Two per cent annual loss then. Now it's seven from rustling alone,

not to mention winterkill, calving loss, miring down in the spring.

How many are you?

Mr Braxton, did you see they sew old boot tops on the saddle to hold ammunition?

Pete, don't pester him if he doesn't wanna be pestered.

Well, it'd just be awful nice to know the whole story.

Well... it's beautiful country.

Yes, sir. It sure is.

You especially feel that now?

Yeah.

Sh, sh, sh.

I sure hope them sportin' ladies don't get sunburned.

I like 'em white as pastry.

Ladies.

Are we all set here?

All set, Pete.

Shall we start the horse... or will you?

I will, sir.

Well, that's one of them.

His name was Sandy Chase and he came here from Rhode Island with the army.

He was 24 years old.

We lost seven per cent of stock between spring and fall last year, to rustlers.

You always mention the percentage. I wonder why you do that.

This is my fourth frontier and I know how they run.

I was in the California gold fields before I was 18.

I was at the rush at Alder Gulch and I went to South America.

These long ropers in the Missouri Breaks are a mixed bag.

Barbers from Minneapolis,

failed grangers, Scandinavian half-breeds, wolfers and woodcutters,

dishonest apprentices, raftsmen, poisoners.

You give them a chance and they'll waste everything.

You're astonished at my arrogance, at not even having a trial, aren't you?

Then why don't you get over it?

Our situation has become nearly as bad as it could be.

Honey, pull down Tristram Shandy again for me, would you?

Daddy.

Excuse me.

Come on! Giddap! Yah!

Got the gate.

How'd she go, Tom?

Everybody else been back a day.

Brought in about 14 head of the first-class order.

Yeah.

- Hey. - Hey.

How was Wyoming?

It was fine.

Spent a couple of days in KC trying to keep from associating with criminals.

Why, they've hit the Union Pacific down there so many times

the place has begun to look like a lawmen's convention.

They got two Pinkerton in KC

and I do believe one of 'em was the legendary Charlie Siringo.

Did he claim to be a border cowboy?

Can't remember. Said he could talk Mexican.

Yeah, that's him.

How'd you know it was a detective?

Rancher's wife wanting to go to bed with him. He kept givin' her a "no".

Damned if I can understand that.

- Well, I took care of her, Cal. - You did that, huh?

You're damn sure. Had a good time too, thank you.

Did you?

Spent the night in Martinsdale. Couldn't get no credit at the whorehouse,

so I picked up this chubby little girl off some sodbuster's outfit.

Yeah... How was she?

About like a Swiss clock. Same exact movement over and over again.

Yeah.

- It was Sandy, huh? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Sandy's gone. He's dead.

David Braxton's foreman... What's his name, Cary?

- Pete Marker. - Pete Marker.

...caught him and they hung him.

Goddamn it.

I knew somebody's bunch wasn't in that corral.

Little Tod was in town. Everybody was at the hanging.

- How'd Sandy go out? - Pretty good. Pretty good.

They hung him up on a cottonwood, though, and he sort of...

He sort of what?

Sort of strangled for a while.

Braxton was there dressed in a suit.

- Lookin' like God. - Hah!

Goddamn.

I'll tell you, the first time I met Sandy...

Listen at this, now.

The first time I met Sandy, he was rustling on his own.

He had a stolen cavalry pony and he kept this dog.

As soon as he killed a steer, he'd cut the brand off and feed it to the dog.

He said to get enough evidence to convict him

they'd have to pick through the dog's shit for a week

before they could find the brand.

My aunt ran a laundry in St Paul.

Got strangled by a Chinaman while she's washing her dog.

It's easy to die. Easy!

Well, they sure killed Sandy.

He was the only comedian in this outfit. Every outfit oughta have a comedian.

You can't run that many rustled horses across open ground.

I know I've been saying that. But you can't.

What do we do, Tom? Open up a stand and sell stolen horses over the counter?

No. We gotta get a relay ranch halfway across

so as we got somewheres to relay 'em at.

- That's right. - That's just really great.

Only we ain't got a ranch.

We ain't got no money! The only horses we got are out there.

We can't move them across the breaks without everybody knowing.

Let's just stick up the NP Railroad and buy a ranch.

Hell, let's rob a bank.

If we're gonna get hung for rustlin' horses, we oughta be robbin' trains.

Why don't you boys join that Hole-in-the-Wall bunch

and you'll be around people that think like that?

Boy, a couple of years ago they'd have put Sandy in Red Lodge penitentiary,

weavin' bridles.

Seems like there's something new in the air.

I bet you Marker'll bait crows with Sandy for a week before he'll cut him down.

I worked for that son of a bitch once on the reservation roundup.

He will leave Sandy in the trees.

When we was fightin' in Kansas, we had relays all over the damn place.

We relayed a cousin of mine

all the way from Medicine Tree to the hot springs in New Mexico.

He beat the telegraph.

Took the detectives two years to cover the same ground he'd covered in a week.

And when they got there he was in his grave up on the Chama.

Why was you havin' to move this cousin around so much?

He did card tricks.

I get it.

He done a trick for this nigger on the Chama. The nigger throttled him.

Mm-hm. I see.

Say, Cal...

Why don't we put that relay in Braxton's backyard?

Yeah.

It beats sendin' three or four horses at a time out into Kansas.

The law there is pretty effective now.

I get a kick out of Little Tod. He says we oughta rob a train.

No...

I'm tired, Cal.

I'm gonna turn in. Tomorrow we have a nice day.

Too bad about Sandy.

All right, move over there. Move, move!

I want you to uncouple that car. Hurry up!

I can't do it. I'm not sure I'm able to do it.

Just get down there and pull the pin out.

- I'm a clerk. I'm not mechanical. - Hurry up. Hurry up.

Whoo-hoo!

- Get the money out. What's your name? - Nelson.

Nelson, you do this right,

you can say you've seen Jesse James and lived to tell the story.

You're not Jesse James.

You ain't Charlie Siringo. Just give me the money, Nelson.

- I'm not permitted to touch this. - Gimme the goddamn money.

Whoa!

Gee!

- Don't start blamin' me. - I am blamin' you.

This is it on trains. This is it.

God Almighty.

This is it. No more trains, Tod.

- I just don't wanna get blamed. - Sh...

We got it! It's all over the place.

Yahoo!

We got it.

- You need some help? - Just pick up the money, goddamn it.

Agh!

But they're all ones. Tom, they're all ones.

- Where am I gonna put 'em all? - I don't wanna hear that now. Just...

Ain't it just terrible?

The next time you mention trains, it's gonna get worse.

You boys new at this?

Appreciate your concern, Nelson.

Yahoo!

Let's get every goddamn one up.

Hey, look! There's tens in the water.

Get in there, Tod. Get in the water. Get those tens.

Yahoo!

Little Tod...

Get out of my way.

Come on. Let's get outta here with what we got.

Mornin', my little darlin'.

Hey, Si. We'll see 'em in church.

I think all of you working men and women

have had time now to consider this case before us.

- There's Braxton. - I have reviewed its details,

and now I feel secure enough to pronounce sentence.

Subject, of course, to your scrutiny and support.

Make him confess first.

I think the kindest thing we can do to this bird

is to send him up to the territorial prison.

He's been about as cooperative as any prisoner we've tried around here.

- I see no direct call to hang him. - Don't he look like God?

Who's got an opinion about how long we might send him up?

- Life is indicated. - He'll take anything.

How would 10 to 20 sound to you?

Sounds about right to me. How soon would I be eligible for parole?

In about two weeks.

Anything you'd like to say before we send you to your just deserts?

And if I may speak for the court,