The Unicorn

Hi, Wade.

- Hey. - Hi.

Let's go check out archery.

Poor baby.

Must be tough for him to go to open house night

- without Jill. - Yeah.

But to be fair, open house is a nightmare for all of us.

- Daddy. - Okay, okay, okay,

we'll go get ice cream after.

Well, we don't have time for ice cream.

- They'll forget. - Oh, yeah, they'll forget about ice cream?

- I don't want to be here. - You think

I want to be here? No one wants to be here.

Fun night, huh?

Hey, what are you guys doing after this?

We're thinking about hitting up that new Whole Foods,

'cause they got a wine bar in the grocery store.

Yeah, get a glass of wine and maybe

some tapas if we're feeling nuts.

- You're not gonna get groceries? - Yeah.

Addie gets 'em. We just give her the list.

- She's very thorough. - Mm-hmm.

- I love lists. - She finds them calming.

- Dad. - She really does.

Well, the woman running the yearbook club seems nice.

Yeah. A little too nice.

Seems like she wants to make you her after-school activity.

What does that mean in your mind?

You know what? Forget it.

What'd you sign up for?

- Um, archery, karate, um, and ham radio. - Great.

So, Natalie has us covered in case

there's an apocalypse.

What about you, Grace?

Oh, nah, I'm good.

What? Really? Nothing?

You used to do so much.

- You should sign up for the debate. - No.

See? You'd be good at it.

Oh, hey, hey.

What about the, uh, the fall musical?

- No way. - Oh... you love to sing.

And look, uh,

they're doing Little Shop of Horrors.

You know, the killer plant from outer space?

- I don't know what that is. - Oh, come on.

They made it into a movie with Steve Martin?

- Never heard of him. - Really?

I have failed you. Come on. Trust me.

You're gonna love it. Oh, and look, look.

Ah, even Addie is auditioning.

C-Come on. Come on.

- I guess it could be fun. - Yeah. You bet it will.

Welcome, welcome.

And who is our aspiring thespian?

- This is Grace. - Ah, Grace... Felton.

You're Jill's daughter.

We all miss her so much.

Thank you. She-she really loved teaching here.

Get a grip, Daniel.

Grace...

welcome to the Ashvale Middle School theatrical family.

Huh.

You know, we do need help building the sets, too,

if you have the time.

Oh, uh, no, no, he doesn't, sorry.

Uh, ye-yes, yes, I do.

- Up high. - Up high.

Down low.

- Uh... - What do you... ?

- How about here? Yeah. - Okay.

Okay.

- Please stop. - Just one?

Ah!

How about that?

All right.

I think it's great that you made her audition.

Well, I didn't make her. I encouraged her.

Well, whatever. You know, it's important

to force them out of their shells.

- Gently. - Yeah, gently.

The important thing is to have a plan

to help them cope in case they don't get the part.

You think that could happen?

I mean, there are a lot of parts.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of kids.

Not everybody gets a part.

For example, if Addie comes up empty,

we have a plan to take her to the insect museum.

It's her happy place.

- Well, Grace would be crushed. - Yeah, it's tough.

It's tough all around, man.

It's like me with high school jazz band.

Right? I practiced

my fingering all summer long

for that audition.

And when I didn't get first sax, I was devastated.

Despite all that fingering,

I could not satisfy my band teacher.

Yeah.

- He just doesn't hear it. - Hear what?

Uh,

- hey. - Hey.

- Found it. - Finally.

So,

- how did the audition go? - Great!

They made me stage manager. And I get to move the plant!

Hey, check you out, huh?

Oh, she's like a double threat.

- Congrats, honey. - Wow.

Um... yeah, I mean, I just, I got...

- Audrey! - What?!

- You got the lead role Audrey? - Yeah.

That's amazing!

Oh, I'm so proud of you!

I am so excited! And I'm nervous,

but mostly excited! I'm gonna go rehearse!

- Love you! - All right, um,

I am so proud of you!

Wow.

- Wow. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I am not a huge fan of that show.

- It scared him. - Yeah. It scared me. I was a kid.

It's a plant that eats people.

It's a reasonable fear.

Is, uh, is everything okay?

Well... am I the only one who thinks the plant

would be more threatening if it had tentacles?

Uh, it's, uh, it's a, it's a plant.

Yes, but plants can have tentacles.

N-No, they, they can't.

Okay, well, agree to disagree.

Maybe we should talk to a plant expert.

Uh, I'm, I'm a landscape architect.

I meant theater plants.

Uh... do you, do you want me to make tentacles?

Would you?

Oh, yes. I love that idea. Yes.

Okay, let's take it from where we left off. Places.

And... sing time.

Okay, you know what? Let's take five.

- Hey. - Michelle.

You went on the field trip?

Oh, yeah, they needed chaperones.

You know what that's like.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

- You don't have to tell us. - Oh, no, I know.

- Yeah... yeah. - Obviously, yeah.

You don't know what that's like, do you?

No, I don't actually think I've seen you volunteer for...

- anything. - We'd like to.

- But we both work, you know, we have jobs. - Yeah.

Honey, they just told me they can't volunteer

for anything at school because they both work.

I work.

And I took the day off.

Well... look at that time.

What is the time, anyway? Oh, wow.

You know, and it's not just school.

- Hmm. - I've coached

the kids' soccer for five years now,

- and I've never seen you help out once. - Well, Ben, you know,

the last five years, I've been pretty slammed.

- You knew that. - I've got four kids.

- Four! - Right.

I still find time. You've just got Addie.

Addie, you know, she's a handful.

Um, I did my homework on the bus,

so can I make us a quiche for dinner tonight?

- Please? - Ugh, see?

Well, I guess, yeah, if you want to.

Thank you.

- Yeah, a real handful. - Okay. Got it.

- Loud and clear. - Yeah.

We will volunteer, all right?

- At some point. - Yes.

- In the near future. - Down the road.

There you go. What?

- Oh. Addie, you want to go? - Oh.

- Addie wants to go right now. - Oh, my God, she's rushing us everywhere.

- Okay, we'll just go. All right. We're leaving. - It's such... ugh!

That girl makes quiche?

It's just okay.

Hmm.

Uh, Mr. Kersey? Can I, uh, can I talk to you?

Grace seems really nervous.

- Yes, she does. - Uh, but-but she'll get there, right?

I mean, obviously she was much better in the audition.

Well, actually, she wasn't. If anything, she was worse.

What? Well, then-then, why did you give her such a big part?

Well, after the year she's had,

I wanted to bring a little joy into her life.

I've always been a big believer

in the healing power of the theater.

Well, h-h-how is that going to be healing?

I mean, she's going to embarrass herself

in front of the whole school.

The whole point of this was to get her out of her shell.

Now she's just gonna go right back in it.

Oh. Well, we don't want that.