The Nest

I saw you in the hospital.

If you need another lassie to carry a baby for you, that can be me.

Are you joking? Using an 18-year- old fresh out of a children's home?

Jesus, Emily, come on!

This is something I want to do.

Darling, this lassie has keyed in to you,

and you're not thinking straight.

That's us drawing a line.

I take this and you get to prove to Emily that I'm no good.

CAMERA CLICKS What's your name?

Kian. Kian Dodds.

I said no, Emily. Well, I'm doing it. No, you're not. I'm doing it.

Emily, you're not listening! With or without you!

I could phone the papers on that guy any day.

On you go, then. Let's see what happens when you do.

This programme contains some strong language.

I've ordered, but... get whatever you want.

I'm OK.

I've had, like, everything on that side and most of that side,

as well. It's all good.

Er, can you get him a coffee?

No, thanks.

I'll come back.

You're still raging, man. LAUGHS

I cannae believe you're still raging!

Ah-ah-ah-ah! Stay. Stay.

First, I couldnae stop boaking. Now I cannae stop eating.

And what have you been doing with yourself?

What do you think I've been doing with myself?

Healing this family.

Well, get a rug!

Can you just...? Can you not tidy up after her?

Oh, Dan! She's a teenager.

Where is she, anyway?

What have you told them?

We need to know!

You're still in shite for all this, aren't you?

It's my job. I just want to know what they know.

You so badly wanted for this to fail.

But nae luck.

This is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Kaya's loving it, living the high life.

New money, new clothes.

Well, what's she told them? Squat.

Well, surely we owe them a duty of care, the couple.

You're joking? We owe them nothing. Daddy Warbucks is on his own.

Two bacon rolls and two coffees.

Hiya, Rosie. Hello.

Thanks, Dan.

What about the lassie?

All good in the 'hood.

No sign of a birth certificate?

What can I tell you? She's been in care. I don't know the half of it.

Aye, but it might just suggest she's got a criminal history

and she's got somebody to scrub her clean.

Are you mad? She doesnae have those kinds of connections.

She's a teenage idiot.

Look, we flew into this with unseemly haste, I'll gie you that,

but babies get made in more unusual circumstances.

Anyway,

she's three month gone. Cannae unring a bell.

200 luxury flats, social housing, retail, leisure,

building a city within a city.

No' bad for a couple of local boys, eh?

Look, I know you've got reservations, but this is it, man.

This is the big one.

You ready for tomorrow?

Tomorrow? What?

The public consultation!

I'm messing with you! Of course I am. Bastard!

Kaya!

Superfoods. Kale, lentils, lean beef.

We need to build you up again now that you're not being sick any more.

Do you know what? I'm actually knackered. I might just go to bed.

DOOR CLOSES

Coming in?

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS INSIDE CLUB

CHATTER

You're amazing, man. You don't give a damn.

KAYA LAUGHS

What can I get you? Two Jack and cokes and one just coke.

How come you're not drinking?

I had a massive one last night. I cannae smell it or I'll boak.

Och, I'll get them. No, no, it's cool.

Whoo!

THEY LAUGH

SHE COUGHS AND RETCHES

Ohhh...

Oh, my God!

THEY LAUGH

Manky bitch. Sorry.

THEY LAUGH

We should swap numbers.

Except next time, you're not paying and I'm not boaking.

That's my wee boy. Cyrus, he's called.

Havnae been out since he was born. Can you tell?

THEY CHUCKLE

Cheers.

I've actually got one on the go, an' all.

You do not! Mm-hm! Is that why you're no' drinking?

I cannae believe I've met another mum! That's meant to be.

You know what? I didnae expect it this young.

But it's brilliant. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

And I'm still going to college, I'm working part time at McDonald's.

It's mad, but...

So, do you know what you're having?

Naw, naw.

It's...not actually mine.

How do you mean?

I'm...carrying it for this pure minted couple who can't have

any of their own, so...

It's not my genes. It's, like, nothing to do with me.

Serious?

Aye.

It's a piece of piss. Six more months and done.

That's me set up for life.

Y'know, fuck McDonald's. You should do it!

Naw.

I couldnae do that.

Gie my baby away?

Right. I better go.

What, are you...not coming back in?

Nah. I'm up early in the morning. Thanks for all the drinks, though.

Can I get another?

And another. And another.

Another!

DOOR CLOSES

BANGING AND CLATTERING

Are you pished?

I need some bread.

Emily made you a whole fucking meal you didnae touch!

How much have you had to drink?

Look at me when I'm speaking to you!

How much have you drunk?

You don't give a fuck, do you?

Don't you touch me! Don't you ever dare touch me!

You don't know nothing about me or my life.

You come near me again, I will fucking kill you.

What's going on?

What have you done? What have I done? What have I done?!

Look at the state of her! Have you taken something?

Kaya, if you've taken drugs or anything like that,

you need to tell me. She's drunk. It's no' drugs, Emily.

Let her go!

Let her fucking go. Kaya!

Kaya, be careful. Kaya, slow down.

SHE YELLS

SHE SOBS AND SCREAMS

SHE SPEAKS IN CANTONESE

OK. Love you. Bye-bye.

That's impressive. I didnae know you spoke Klingon.

Cantonese. Just to my grandparents.

I know. I was just making a wee joke. Is it Eriskay you're from?

Further north. Lewis. Born and bred on the island.

Well, hats off to you. You've come a long way fae there to get here.

Can I get a cheese and egg roll and a coffee?

Get your own bloody roll!

Y'see what I have to put up with in here?

A body was recovered from the Clyde yesterday.

Well, it's looking like another drugs theft,

which would be the 100th this year. Uh-huh.

So I thought we could do something bigger,

maybe do a profile on the guy so he's not just a number.

It's nae news that there's a drugs problem, sadly.

I think what people need right now is a bit of good news.

So I tell you what you can dae.

Can you get yourself down to the City Chambers, ten o'clock?

Public meeting.

Dan Docherty, setting out his vision for turning the arse end of Glasgow

into the jewel on the Clyde.

Kaya McDermott?

Are you Mum and Dad?

No. It's a surrogacy.

OK. How can I help you?

We were booked in for the first scan, the three-month, next week,

but something's gone on in the meantime. We just need to know.

We need to check...

Sorry.

..what effect alcohol might have had on the foetus.

That depends on how much and how often.

Once.

Is there any kind of test you can do to check if the baby's OK?

We can pay privately for an extra ultrasound or whatever it is.

What I would say is that stress is at least as great a risk factor.

HE SCOFFS

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk to Kaya alone.

How did you get yourself into this?

There seems to be tension with the husband.

He's a cock. And what about the wife?

I was really sick in the beginning,

so she jacked in her work to look after me.

But now I'm fine and she's still hovering about me, phoning me,

like, 50 times a day. I cannae stand it!

It's more like the jail than the jail.

And have you changed your mind about carrying the baby?

Well, what if I have?

What am I going to do about it?

Yes, I'd like to talk to Safeguarding about a patient.

She's 18, and it's a surrogacy.

I'm going to be late. I've got to go.