Blonde Venus

Hey, you guys, wait a minute.

- How far is it to the next town? - Only ten miles.

Well, then it's no use, boys. I'm through.

Just cover me with leaves and tell my mother I died with her name on my lips.

Hang on while we watch Joe die.

Is anyone around here human enough to give me a cigarette?

Here you are.

And you're the guy who said this was going to be a pleasure trip.

- Part of your education. - Oh, yeah?

You can't leave Germany without taking a walking trip.

Why can't I?

Oh, look. What's that?

As I live and breathe, a taxicab in the middle of the Black Forest.

Hey, brother, can you give us a lift into town?

We've been hiking all day and we're tired.

- What'd he say? - He says he's engaged for the whole afternoon.

- That settles it. - He just wants to barter.

We'll pay you well. We're Americans.

- What'd he say? - He says he's a man of honor.

Theaters . Actresses?

- Are they young? - Jawohl, ja.

Ask him quickly, for heaven's sake, how many of them are there.

Six.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Did you say we're sailing in three weeks?

- I've canceled my reservations. - Three, four, five...

- Get out. - Sit down.

- They seem disturbed about something. - Do you suppose we are not welcome?

Are there six or are there seven?

I'm sorry, miss, but I don't understand a word.

Will you please go away?

Oh, you speak English. Really quite a surprise.

Have you just come from America? Rather a long swim, isn't it?

Will you go away?

What a charming country this is. I've half a mind to settle here for good.

Would you mind telling me how long this is going to keep up?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Now that you call my attention to it, I guess I am.

Please, we have to be back in the theater by 6:00.

- Otherwise we'll all lose our positions. - We wouldn't dream of being the cause of that.

But if we go, will you and your friends meet us for something to eat after the show tonight?

We'll do nothing of the kind.

All right then, my little water nymph, we'll stay.

Oh, I think you're the most impossible person I've ever met.

Look, Mommy, I'm a crocodile.

Got it!

Missed it.

Got it.

Missed it.

- Look, Mommy, I'm a fish. - Oh, excuse me. I thought you were a boat.

- No, I've changed. Now I'm a fish. - Sit up, Johnny.

You know I have no time today. Your father will be back soon.

- Sit down. - Thank you, Doctor.

Well, young man, what seems to be your trouble?

Dr. Pierce, I have a rather peculiar request to make.

I want to sell you my body.

Why do you particularly want to sell it to me?

In view of your reputation on this side of the water,

I had an idea that my body, in its present condition, might be very interesting to you,

before, as well as after, death.

- What's the matter with you? - I've been poisoned by radium emanations.

- What is your occupation? - I'm a commercial chemist.

I've been working on a process whereby the various radium products

can be utilized without danger.

- How long have you been working on this thing? - Ten or 12 years.

That's a very valuable idea. Who made your diagnosis?

I know enough about the symptoms to do it myself.

- Have you had any blood tests lately? - Three weeks ago and again last night.

I think I'm good for another eight months, a year at the most.

I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid I can't.

Do you know anybody who might be interested in my condition? I need money very badly.

- Why? Are you married? - I wouldn't have come here if I weren't.

- Any children? - Yes, a little boy.

- Does your wife know about your condition? - She does.

I told her last night.

Come to think of it, I've just heard from a friend of mine in Germany.

There's a specialist there named, um...

What was that name?

Holzapfel. Been pretty successful in cases like yours.

- Holzapfel. At Dresden? - Yes. Do you know him?

Do I know him? He was one of my professors when I was studying over there.

He was, was he?

Doctor, how much do you think it would cost?

The cure is said to take three or four months.

I should say about, um... about $1,500.

$1,500?

- That's a lot of money, isn't it? - It certainly is.

- Aren't you working? - Only at odd jobs, one or two days a week.

Let's see. I could let you have, say, uh, $50.

Oh, no, Doctor. Thank you.

Thank you so much for your patience.

Glad you came to see me.

Bedtime, Johnny.

Aw, Daddy, can't I just stay up ten minutes longer?

No.

- Five? - No.

- Two? - No.

Alley-oop.

Wait a minute, Mommy.

Right in the bull's-eye, Johnny.

- Which one are you gonna tell me? - Which one do you want to hear?

- The one about Germany. - But you've heard that one so often.

- I want to hear it again. - Ned!

Coming.

- All set, Daddy? - You bet.

Go on, Mommy. It was springtime in Germany.

It was springtime in Germany, and it was warm.

I had spring fever, and the air was full of blossoms.

Now it's your turn.

Well, let's see. I was out with some other students on a walking trip.

Pretty soon we came to a dragon sitting in an automobile

who told us there was a magic pool in the forest.

And what did you do?

We went to the pool, of course. What do you suppose we saw?

What?

Imagine, half a dozen princesses taking a bath.

- And what did you do when you saw him? - I told him to go away.

- And did he? - He did not.

And what happened then?

The most beautiful princess of all said that if I'd go away,

she'd grant me my wish.

And what'd you wish?

I wished to see her again. I couldn't think of anything better to wish.

So that night I went to a theater.

The music began to play.

And out upon the stage stepped this princess,

and she looked more beautiful than ever.

Oh, she was beautiful.

And then your heart began to go like this, huh?

And Mommy began to sing?

And my heart stopped beating entirely.

- What happened to you when you saw him? - I could hardly sing.

And I could barely wait until I saw him again.

- But you did see him again, didn't you? - Mm-hmm.

I met him later that night.

- What happened then? - You can never guess.

We went walking.

Go on. Walk.

Okay, skipper.

And then we came to a park.

Only there was a tremendously large yellow moon up in the sky.

It was altogether too big and too bright.

But it was dark under the trees. Very dark.

This is a tree, Johnny.

- And what happened under the trees? - Then he kissed me.

And what happened after that?

He kissed me again.

And what happened then?

Then we were married.

And then...

And then we started to think about you, Johnny...

Shh! Get out of here.

Would you need that 1,500 all at once?

No, but if I had 300, I could at least get to Germany.

I haven't yet figured out a way of paying the rent, unless I part with the microscope.

So I'm afraid we'll have to postpone our trip abroad this year.

I could earn that money by going back to the stage.

I won't have you do that.

But the doctor says you must go away.

If I worked a few weeks, I might make enough for your passage,

and then we'll find a way to keep you over there until you got well.

It's out of the question. I won't have you go back to the stage.

- Ned? - What is it?

I was going back to my old work anyway.

- Will it make you happy? - It isn't that. We need money.

It's only a question of weeks. My formula's almost completed.

- And then we'll have all the money we need. - I know, dear.

But in the meantime, I'm going to do something to give you a chance to get well.

- Have you come to be placed? - Yes.

- What's your name? - Faraday.

- What's that? - Helen Faraday.

- Got an appointment? - No, I haven't.

You'll have to wait. All these people are ahead of ya.

Thank you, honey. I'll see you later.

Going to lunch, Sally. Be back in ten minutes.

Morning, Mr. Smith!

- You remember me? - What about that job you said you had for me?

Just a minute, folks.

- You remember my dramatic sketch, Mr. Smith. - Just a minute, Jim.

You're waiting to see me, aren't you?

Run along, Eddie. I'll see you later. Come on in, baby.

We've been here a long time.

You'll be here a long time after she's gone.

I've been here every day for three weeks.

Sit down. Take a load off your feet.

- When is the last time you worked? - Five or six years ago.

- Where? - In Germany.

- Can you put over a song? - I used to be able to.

- How much will you take? - Anything I can get. It doesn't matter.

Now, don't tell me you're working just for the love of your art. Who's your boyfriend?

I haven't any.

- Will you work for $25 a week? - Oh, yes.

Well, you're in luck, baby. You came to the right man.

I guess maybe I can get you 30 or 40. I might be able to raise it to 50.

That includes commission, of course.

I generally get 20 percent, but seeing it's you I'll make it 15.

- Is that okay? - Oh, yes.

That ain't a high commission considering the personal service I give my clientele.

Why, the minute you put yourself in my hands, baby,

your interests are closer to me than my own.