Drifters

God, yes, oh, that is faultless work.

Oh, good... good chap.

Stop.

Stop what?

Oopsie.

Sozzles, Meg.

Didn't really have anywhere else to go.

What?

Hi.

You must be Meg.

You actually think this is OK, don't you?

Um...

Meg, what are you doing?

Get out.

Horrible things are happening up there, Mark.

It's a violation.

I've basically been assaulted.

What are you on about?

Bunny is getting licked out by some rando in my bed

while I'm in it, not OK.

When she moved into the loft, I specifically

said no sex guests.

We had a deal. - Go to sleep.

It's abuse, Mark.

I've basically been abused.

And it's not fair.

I wish I was getting licked out.

Remember when you used to lick me out, Mark?

Mark, remember when you used...

Meg, just go to sleep.

You were good at it, when you did it, which was, granted,

only when you wanted me to fellate you.

Couples always pretend oral is not tit for tat, but it is.

Tit for tat, Mark?

Magg Meg, stop being creepy.

Come on.

I know you want it.

Can you get your hand off my cock, please?

Could do, or...

Meg, stop it.

I told you before, I don't want to have any kind

of sex with you ever again.

Is that clear?

Bit gay.

What?

OK.

This is why I'm moving out.

So you keep saying.

I'll, uh, be on the sofa if you change your mind, about having

sex with me, I mean.

Just so you know, the offer is here.

Bastard bag, piece of shit.

Come on.

Right, in you go.

Right, you carry on sleeping, Gary.

I'll sort all your shit out.

Laura, what are you doing?

You promised when I moved in with you,

you'd make space for my shit.

Plenty of room, you said.

Oh, it won't feel overcrowded with two of us.

But they're me clothes.

They're shit, Gary.

I'm doing us both a favor.

You're insane, woman. Look.

We can go and get a bigger wardrobe.

We can't go back to Bargain Interiors, Gary.

The magistrate was very clear about that.

Laura, please, calm down.

Listen.

Maybe it's time we moved.

I can afford to pay a bit more rent now,

what with the new job.

Keep talking.

OK.

I mean, who turns down a blowie?

He's probably got a bird.

He definitely hasn't.

How do you know?

I just know.

You've been checking his phone, haven't you?

Yeah.

Well, there's only one explanation.

I always suspected it.

It's obvious, Meg.

He's gay. - He hates you.

Wait.

Shut up. What?

He's gay, mate.

Yes.

Yes, gay, I like it.

Mark's gay.

That's why he rejected me.

It's the only logical explanation

for turning down this.

Except for it's not because, it's actually

just that he hates you.

No, he doesn't.

And even if he did, hating someone

is not enough of a reason to not sleep with them.

Agreed, you can still sleep with people you hate.

I do it with Gary all the time.

Like, don't be ridiculous.

If that were true, then I would be hate sleeping with Julian.

Who?

He's my costar in the play.

Oh, yeah, that.

I hate him.

And you will see how good I am at acting when you come

and watch the play, because I have

to act like I don't hate him, whereas in reality I

actually do hate him.

Like, sure, he's conventionally good-looking.

But, God, I could never imagine sleeping with him.

Oh, no, God, uh, uck.

It sounds a bit like you do want to sleep with him.

I will not be sleeping with him because I hate him,

just like Mark hates you, Meg.

Doesn't hate me, is gay.

By the way, I spoke to Mark about the whole breathing

space issue, and he's more than happy to move out forthwith.

So he is moving out, interesting.

So I've decided I'll be taking his room,

because it's the big room. - Uh, no, you won't.

Who's he moving in with, anyway, his boyfriend?

You know that's not true, Meg, given his very

heterosexually active past.

Maybe he was trying to fuck the gay out of his system.

Just accept it.

He's just not that into you.

God, I'd bet money on it.

You haven't got any money.

Fine.

I will bet Mark's room on it.

Deal. - Deal.

All right, so whoever is right gets the big bedroom,

and whoever is wrong gets the loft.

Laura, witness.

Love a good bet, me.

Swear on Granny's life.

Which one?

The alive one.

Got it.

I think the previous owners went to prison,

but the flat itself is perfectly safe.

That smell, oh, Gaz, have you farted?

Oh, that might be the sewage works.

They're just... well, you can see for yourselves...

Outside the window.

Sorry.

But do you have anywhere that doesn't smell of shit, like?

I'm afraid this is the best you're

gonna get on your budget.

Obviously, if you wanted to go a little higher,

you'd be surprised.

I can't afford to go any higher.

You'd see a great improvement if you were

willing to go a little higher.

OK, yeah, I'd like to pay more money than we can afford

for where we live, please.

Great.

I go to work, and I come home.

I expect certain things.

But (WITH I would

go to work if you'd let me.

But this place, it's just like a prison.

I'm sorry.

Are you going to do it like that?

Like what?

Well, it's just quite a weird choice, considering

what's about to happen.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Should we just do the whole play your way?

Yeah, maybe we should.

You have serious control issues.

Do I?

Well, at least I can fucking act.

Okey dokey, let's just trying and redirect some

of this awesome energy, guys.

Yeah.

Uh, let's try scene 11. - Oh.

Oh.

I know we were struggling with this.

Some of these sex scenes can be pretty uncomfortable.

So I was thinking we might try an exercise.

Of course, yes.

So let's just talk through what might happen

between you two sexually first.

Oh, Jesus, no, absolutely not.

Oh, I... I mean, between the characters in the play.

Oh, right, sorry.

Sorry, yes, of course.

So if you were having consensual sex...

...As the characters, how might you, he, initiate, Julian?

I think he'd start by kissing her quite firmly on the lips.

Would he?

Kiss her neck, unbutton her shit, maybe kiss her tits.

Right.

Maybe a gentle bite on the nipple.

Uh, um, uh, my character would... would... would