Carrie Pilby

Here's a surprise.

Guess who's not coming to Thanksgiving?

Your dad?

He's such a hypocrite. I hate hypocrites.

I'm sorry.

Is this for me?

I figured you'd have more use for it than I will.

Right. Thanks.

I swear to God.

The man is incapable of keeping a promise.

What was his reason?

You tell me. He's your friend.

- Carrie-- - He said he has to, um, stay in London.

Why would anyone choose to stay in London?

London's awful.

When's the last time you were in London?

When I was 12.

When your mom was sick?

Don't do that.

Do what?

Make associations in your head.

I don't like London because it is cold,

it is repressed.

And everyone looks like they've smoked

too many cigarettes.

Did you make any friends this week?

You and I both know

there's a perfectly good reason

I don't have any friends.

So, what did you do this week?

What I normally do.

- Reading? - Mostly.

And how many books did you read?

Seventeen.

And does reading 17 books in one week

seem normal to you?

No, no, of course it's not normal.

I mean, does skipping

three grades of school seem normal?

Does going to Harvard at the age of 14 seem normal?

I'm clearly not normal.

I thought we'd established that was the problem.

Carrie, I want you to do something for me.

What?

You and I are going to come up with

a list of goals you're going to achieve

between now and the end of the year.

So, for our next session, I want you to think about

some of the things you'd like to have on that list.

Things you've done in your life and enjoyed.

What kind of things do you expect me

to put on this list?

For example, join a club.

Why should I force myself to go out and meet people

who have lowered their moral, ethical, and intellectual standards

in order to fit in with other people

who have low moral, ethical, and intellectual standards?

You're such a contrarian.

No, I'm not.

A little helpful advice.

One, try to stop pontificating

and rubbing your exceptionally high IQ

in people's noses.

Two, give humanity a chance.

Someone might surprise you.

Time's up.

Carrie, wait.

You were quite late, so I don't mind

going a couple of minutes over.

I do.

I'm actually in the middle of reading

Foucault's "Archeology of Knowledge."

I highly recommend it, by the way.

And, if you speak to my dad,

please give him the message

that I don't accept his excuses or his apologies

and that hiring me a therapist

is no more a satisfactory replacement

for an actual parent,

than sending me off to college

at an inappropriately young age.

Sorry for being, um--

I completely understand.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You too.

Hey, Carrie. What's up?

Hi, Ronald.

- Do you need a menu? - Oh, sure.

Someone still buys DVDs, huh?

Someone still does, yeah.

And you know what?

I have never had to wait

for the movie to load halfway through the film.

I'll have the soup.

Yeah, sure.

- Hi, there. - Hi.

Look, before you launch into your moves or whatever,

I just want you to know

that I'm not really in the right frame of mind

to make flirty chitchat with a total stranger.

Even though, admittedly, you're quite a cute one.

But I've just-- dealing with being let down

by my dad-- not for the first time.

And I've just had a really tough session

with my therapist.

- Um-- - I'm sorry.

I just wanted to know if I can borrow this chair.

Oh, definitely.

Yes.

Take it. Knock yourself out!

Not with the... chair.

Girl: Hey!

Do you want me to pack this to go?

Yes! Please, yes.

What the hell is that?

Yo! World music guy!

- Hey! - Can you go

and hold your one-man

aborigine festival thing somewhere else?

Like Australia?

Sure.

Hi, Dad.

Dad: Hello, darling, how are you?

Got your message.

You're not coming for Thanksgiving.

Shocker.

Dad: So sorry, darling.

I really thought I could swing it,

but I just can't get away.

It's such an American thing anyways.

I promise I'll be there for Christmas.

Well, it would have been nice

to have a bit more notice.

But listen, I do have good news.

I've found you a job at the law firm

of a friend of mine.

In what world is that good news?

If anything, that is very, very bad news.

But it'll be good for you.

Well, I'm still four years ahead of my peers.

Do you want me to be maladjusted?

It'll be easy, I promise.

It's a night job, proofreading legal briefs.

You love reading.

Not proofreading,

and certainly not legal briefs.

Well, at least it'll be quiet.

You won't have to talk to a soul

if you don't want to.

If you have a better offer, by all means.

What happened to "Take some time"?

Well, it has been a year, darling.

And to be absolutely honest,

it would really help if you could

bring something to the table, so to speak.

Isn't there some other way?

You could get a roommate instead if you prefer.

Okay, fine.

I'll take the job.

( "Morning" by Edvard Grieg plays )

Hello?

- What you listening to? - Hmm?

Wait, isn't that from Bugs Bunny?

It's "Morning." "Peer Gynt," Edvard Grieg.

I'm pretty sure that's from one of the "Looney Tunes."

Who are you?

- Douglas. - Do you work here?

No, I just didn't have anyone

to spend Thanksgiving with,

so I've been wandering around the building

hoping to find someone to share my turducken.

- ( chuckles ) - Right.

I'm kidding.

You're Carrie Pilby, right?

I might be.

Sometimes when the documents get copied and/or faxed,

the periods end up looking like commas.

And the "Hs" end up looking like "Ks,"

You know, that sort of thing.

No wonder lawyers charge 400 bucks an hour,

they pay people to play "Concentration."

Oh, no. I'm sorry. Douglas got to you first.

I always try to get to the new people

before he does, but he's quick as lighting.

Ooh.

I'm Tara.

Carrie.

I wish I could say he's more

the exception to the rule,

but what can I tell you?

This job attracts a strange breed.

Clearly.

You're gonna fit in just fine.

Holidays are a drag, huh?

For some people, yes.

What did you do for yours?

Nothing.

Just-- just went to work.

What? You got a job?

Well, my dad got it for me.